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We're not afraid to cover any health issues, and we thought
it was high time to look at the most natural bodily function common to all creatures.
The President does it...the Queen does it...Ricky Martin does it.
Does what?
Passes gas, of course!
Flatus, flatulence, wind, farting, popping off, bottom burps, floating an air biscuit, opening one's lunchbox,
whatever you call it, we all have to do it.
Like sex, we find passing gas to be most embarrassing. Even more so than sex itself!...unless you have reached
that important milestone in your relationship where you can safely pop off on your partner's leg for a laugh, or
they hold your head under the covers and force you to inhale the remnants of last night's Thai dinner.
Now we're getting silly.
According to InteliHealth.com, most adults pass gas 14 times per day, some more, some less. Passing gas is perfectly
normal and only on rare occasions means you have a disease.
Gas is the result of air being swallowed. It's also caused by certain foods which are high in complex carbohydrates,
like beans, cabbage, onions (yes!), fruit, and bran. The small intestine finds them a little too difficult to process,
so moves them into the large intestine where hungry bacteria chow through them.
It's actually the gas from the bacteria that builds up in your intestines so you are really passing bacteria farts!
That's a nice thought.
People who are lactose intolerant or switch from low fat to full fat dairy will find themselves farting a lot more!
Changing your diet to a higher fiber one will also increase gas. This usually calms down after a while...thankfully!
Vegetarians tend to have more gas as they eat more complex carbohydrates.
Foods which are high in sulfur, like meat, eggs and cauliflower, are extremely fart-forming and will produce seriously
smelly flatus.
Gas happens at most inappropriate times, like on a date or in a group of people. You have to sit there holding
it in. Your intestines are pleading with you for release and show how serious they are by letting off big growly
sounds (In case you're interested, these sounds have a technical name. They're called borborygmi).
The Japanese are so appalled by bodily emissions, they have a device on toilets which emits sound effects (like
running water) to disguise gassy-type noises. We're not like that. We cough and rattle the dispenser around!
There's no known damage caused by holding in your gas, but it is awfully uncomfortable. It's said Emperor Claudius
passed a law making farting at the banquet table okay, because he was concerned at the potential damage to one's
health by holding back!
Where do farts go? They normally pass back up the anus...but they will reemerge at some stage.
If you think you have an excessive gas problem bad enough to power the next shuttle launch, try the following:
-slow down your eating and drinking literally. If you chew
and swallow too quickly, you will take in more air. Chewing gum and drinking through a straw will also cause you
to swallow more air.
-products such as Beano or activated charcoal tablets may help. Beano is added to foods like, well, beans to help
break them down. Charcoal has been shown to alleviate windy tummies by absorbing gas, but it can absorb medicines
so check with the doc first.
If you feel that you are farting way too much and you have
abdominal pains, don't be afraid to visit the doc. It's better to check these things just in case there is a problem.
But remember, everyone farts!
further info:
A very funny fart story
from a pro-farter!
Facts on
Farts is an excellent site with great info you'd
normally be afraid to talk about!
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