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Secrets

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Secrets
by Jamie Yarbrough

Chapter 28

Sam was in shock he decided. He hadn’t been able to sit down from the minute Jess left his office. He left a note tacked on his door for the sketch artist and headed out into the warming air to walk along the wharf. He forced himself to be happy for his daughters. Both so young and so full of life. He hoped this is what they were destined for, that none of it was a mistake. He remembered his own past and all the mistake he had made. He wondered if he had been more courageous like his daughters if he would have fought for Ivy. He tried to push thoughts of her out of his head but it seemed impossible when he glanced up and saw her coming towards him. He didn’t take the time to decide if the rush he felt was pleasure, love or just the lust she had always inspired in him. He smiled when he thought of telling her his news about his daughters, at least they would have a safe topic for a few minutes he thought as she caught up to him.

Ivy’s own face glowed with a smile, Ethan had just called and told her he had asked Theresa to marry him again and although she hadn’t answered yet she could hear the joy in his voice. She beamed at Sam and hooked her arm through his.

"Oh Sam! I can’t believe it! I was hoping to run into you, would you like to walk and talk for a bit?" Ivy said cheerfully.

"That would be nice Ivy, I am so happy right now! My baby is getting married!" He said. Ivy choked and spun to face him sputtering. He couldn’t possibly know, she thought. Her heart leapt into her throat as her head spun. Had Pilar told him? She doubted it, she wondered what he could mean as he grinned at her. She shook herself and sputtered a bit before she began blabbering.

"Yes, Theresa’s a great girl, Ethan will be so happy, I am so glad you aren’t mad, how long have you know?" She bab-bled.

Sam looked at Ivy bewildered. What the hell was she talking about Ethan and Theresa for, he wondered.

"Mad about what?" He asked.

"Mad about me not telling you Ethan’s your son." Ivy blurted out, then nearly fainted when she realized Sam hadn’t known. That much was very obvious by the look on his face. He looked like he had been hit by a truck. "Oh Sam." Ivy herself was feeling a little lightheaded and she pulled Sam over to a bench while he stood numb.

"M-my son? MY SON? Mine?" Sam sputtered. He head swam as he sat and he wondered if this was the top for the day. God he hoped it was, he didn’t think he could handle anything more. Then he cursed himself, that was what he had thought just a few minutes before, it was like tempting fate.

"Sam, I am so sorry... I wanted to tell you, I wanted to be with you to have a family with you, but I just couldn’t." Ivy began, "Alistair and my father demanded I follow through or I would pay, I would have still stood up to them if they hadn’t threatened you. I would have broken free when I knew about Ethan, when I learned I carried your child, but they told me again that you and I would die and I couldn’t let that happen, I could let them kill our child."

"I would have stopped them," Sam said quietly, still dazed.

"Oh Sam I never stopped loving you and I never stopped regretting my choices all those years ago."

Sam stared down at his hands, they shook visibly. He wondered if the rest of him was shaking too. He rubbed them over his jean clad thighs. This woman, he thought, she would be the death of him. He had felt the familiar ache of her loss for over twenty years and now she had multiplied that pain through the loss of all those years without his firstborn son. He begged to hate her so many times, but never had he been able to. He couldn’t push the love he felt for her from his heart. He wondered if would ever stop loving her, even now when it seemed that she had betrayed him yet again. He doubted it. He thought about Grace and Noah, about Kay and Jess and now their babies. This would change everything, he would have to change his entire life for a man he barely knew and hardly liked, he hoped it would be worth it in the end. He reached over and took Ivy’s hand when he noticed hers were trembling more than his own. Ivy stared at him, their eyes locked.

"Thank you for finally giving me my son, Ivy." He said thickly and then turned to stare out at the ocean her hand locked in his.

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