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THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ F E B R U A R Y '00 ~ page 4

 

school

Dear msX ~
I want to improve my grades. how can I do it Iím in high school..

Dear School,
Do your homework, stay awake and contribute in your classes, and keep an open mind. Some of the stuff your teachers are trying to cram in there is not so bad. And, if you enjoy what you're learning, you learn it so much better. Rewriting notes always worked for me...something about typing them over made them stick in my brain. Talk to your individual teachers and ask them what you can do to improve. Showing an effort makes a difference!
Good luck,
ms. X


Player

Dear msX ~
I Think that my boyfriend is cheating on me. I'm not sure but I think that he is because two reasons one, he goes to a different school than I do and two, because he talks to other girls on the phone. What should I do?(hint: I really don't want to break up with him)

Dear Player,
Talking to other girls is hardly an infidelity. Maybe he is even talking about his feelings toward you. Guys who have female friends understand a little bit better, so this is not a flaw. Wait until you have hard evidence that he is cheating before you scare him away with your suspicious nature. Being a boyfriend (or girlfriend) doesn't give anyone a monopoly on their beloved. People do need their friends, too.
ms. X


Trouble?????

Dear msX ~
I have been talking to this guy on the phone for about a year. We got to know each other really well. He is the sweetest guy I have ever talked to! well we both decided that it was time we met each other. And we said no matter what we looked like we would still like each other just as much. So we set a day to go to the movies. We both brought a friend since we had never met before we didn't want to be alone. Well my best friend had already made plans to go somewhere else. She really wanted to go but said she couldn't bail on her other friend last min. So I invited her twin sister to go with me. She's one of my friends too. so we went and we met him Denver and his best friend Jeff. Well after the movie we went out to eat and that's when my friend started mocking me and making me look dumb. I was a little excited but I mean who wouldn't be? Anyway, within the next couple of weeks my friend was calling him, writing him letters, and they even made a date to go back to the movies without me. That really made me mad. Finally I confronted her about it and she said that he liked her and not me. Well I was mad at her for a week or so but finally I forgave her and moved on. Then I met this guy named Brandon. We had planned on getting together over spring break. once again, when I was away for a couple days, she met up with him and he began to like her. Now that I said I was moving on she goes out with my ex-boyfriend. She says she's sorry but I don't quite believe it anymore. Should I still be her friend. I don't want any enemies! What should I do about guys and her?????

Dear Trouble,
She sounds like a friend you don't need. But, that doesn't mean you have to turn her into an enemy. Just don't include her in your future plans and find someone else to confide in. No active bad-mouthing, just go your separate ways, be cordial when you see her, but find yourself busy when she calls. Treachery is not an ingredient of a true friendship.
ms. X



REJECTED

Dear msX ~
My 2 best friends are like sisters to me, but recently they have been going out with these guys, I really don't mind, it's just that whenever we all go out together, it feels as if I shouldn't be there. One of the boys said he would set me up too, but he hasn't done so yet. Even if he did, the guy he set me up with would probably like one of my friends rather than me because they are much prettier than I am, despite the fact that they both think and say that I am the prettiest one in the group. It doesnít make me feel any better because they are either blind or just trying to make me happy, which seems impossible lately!

Dear Rejected,
It is hard being the fifth wheel, but don't despair. Talk to your friends about accelerating the fix-up and if that doesn't work, keep the friendship, but look for your own dates. And, if someone gives you a compliment, learn to accept it graciously. People can only try so much to make you feel good, but if you are so intent on feeling bad, you will eventually convince them that you are unworthy of their compliments. Believe them and believe in yourself. Confidence is a much more attractive package, even if you have to pretend.
ms. X


What do I say?????

Dear msX ~
I have a problem. ok, there is this new boy at our school and I really like him. He is really cute and I want to get together and do something with him sometime. But I am so shy!!!! it is a real problem for me to talk to guys. Well he is really shy too! he told my friend that he likes me but I just don't have anything to say! What should I say? Help me please!!

Dear What Do I Say,
You have a choice. You can either continue to be shy and wait for Mr. Shy-Himself to make the first move. It might never happen. You can be shy for the rest of your life and look back on lots of missed opportunities when you're old and gray. Taking the label shy and making it part of your permanent persona seems to guarantee that. Or, you can get over it and put yourself out there a bit more. Learning social skills now will benefit you for the rest of your life. Being shy won't do anything but give you this big boring label to hide behind.
ms. X


boyfriend is a jerk

Dear msX ~
My boyfriend gets mad at me for every little thing I do, but I like him too much to break-up.

Dear Jerk's Girlfriend,
Is it him you like or just having a boyfriend? Jerks abound in this world. It shouldn't be too hard for you to find another. I wouldn't hang around someone who was angry and critical all the time. That kind of negativity is catching and life is too short.
ms. X


does he or doesn't he

Dear msX ~
There's this Spanish guy that I have liked for 3 months now. he knows I like him(everyone tells him)also because two weeks ago I asked him out. His words were you shouldn't waste your time on me so I said bye and hung up. A few weeks later I called him up as I often did he sounded excited to hear from me. He never calls me(he doesn't call the girl I know he likes because he's afraid, so I know I'm not bothering him)He acts different around me now then when we first became friends. He has flirted with me and when I talk to my friends about other guys he surreptitiously listens. I am 1/2 to 2 inches taller than him so that might be a factor. I don't know what I should do. I know from many intimate covo's that he would make a good bf. Should I go for one of the other guys who like me or should I wait for him or someone better. Help what should I do and does he like me or is he playing with me.

Dear Does he or Doesn't he?
Sounds like he does. Only it also sounds like he has self-esteem issues himself. Continue your flirting and maybe escalate it a bit. Tell him what you like about him in a sincere way. Maybe he will respond to your boosts in a more romantic way. Some guys can't believe it when a girl shows an interest. Give it time.
ms. X


heartbreak-ex

Dear msX ~
Me and my ex broke up over almost 6 months ago and Iím still in love with him and I don't know if its the real thing or what but heís got anew girlfriend so its not like I can just pursue him.

Dear Heartbreak-Ex,
Once you've let him know how you feel, it's time to bow out and see if he makes a move. You're right, you can't pursue him. But, you can tell him, ONCE, and walk away. From that point on, it is up to him to make the next move.
ms. X


Whatís a girl to do

Dear msX ~
As you know Valentineís day is coming up soon and I don't know what to get my guy friend

Dear Valentine Gift Dilemma,
It is uncomfortable for someone to receive a gift that is not in proportion to what they have bought for you. So, unless you're sure he is getting you something nice, think small. A cute stuffed animal that has meaning to your special relationship or a CD with a special song on it make nice gifts. A framed photo of the two of you together is also sweet and thoughtful. Get him something that he will look back on and remember fondly.

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