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THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ F E B U A R Y '00 page 2

 

GUY TROUBLE!!

Dear msX ~
Okay, Iím usually not to good with guys. But, lately business has been booming. I've been meeting a whole bunch of guys. But, there's one guy in particular that I like and he likes me too. I'm sure you're thinking, What's the problem? Well, I'll tell you. He went out with a friend of mine about a month ago. And, although they broke up I know that she still has feelings for him. I don't know what to do because I really want to be with him, he's a blast to hang out with and I really care for him, but I don't want to hurt my friend. What should I do???

Dear Guy Trouble,
My personal philosophy has always been, When in doubt, choose friendship. Friends generally stick around alot longer than beaus. But, if you are really intent on this guy, then talk to your friend. Tell he that you and he have feelings that you'd like to explore, but you want her to know you'll respect your friendship if she's upset. See what she says. But, if this guy's just one of your flock, let her have him if she wants him. Boyfriends are a dime a dozen, but a girlfriend is like a diamond.
ms. X



love

Dear msX ~
How do when you really love some one?

Dear Love,
Once the initial passion cools, if you find you still love listening to that person, whether you're going to have sex is a good sign. Seeing someone at their absolute worst and still thinking they're adorable is another. All this stuff takes time, and, at the beginning, it always feels like love. How it endures over time and duress is the true test of love, no? No instant fix on it.
ms. X


Newly Single

Dear msX ~
I was dating **** for 4 months. This is the first relationship where the words I Love You were exchanged. Well, things were going great but other people started to come between us. I would go out with other guys that were my friends, and he would flirt with other girls. It ended up driving us both crazy that we would ditch each other for these other people. Anyway, I broke up with him two weeks ago because I thought I liked the other boy. But now I miss him more than ever! He was very hurt when I broke up with him. It's been two weeks, and he just started talking to me again yesterday. Now I want him back, so much, I know if I had him back I would make things absolutely perfect. But when I asked him there was anything left of us as more than friends, he said no:( and now I am EXTREMELY lonely, I feel like I have no friends. I mean I do, and I've been trying to hang with them more, but they seem to be so busy with their boyfriends. I try to move on but I cannot. I really want him back. Tomorrow will be the first time I see him since we started talking and I told him I want him back, do you have any ideas of what I should say or do? Thank you so much for any help you can give.

Dear Newly Single,
Perhaps by the time you get this reply, you will be over him. Or you will be back together. I don't know. It is hard to be single when everyone else is hooked up and that sometimes makes a past love more attractive. Give this some time. If he is to heal, so be it. If not, you will find yourself moving on as soon as your social life livens up.
ms. X



I love him! he loves her!

Dear msX ~
I have known this guy since I was 12 I'm now 17. We have been BEST buds since then, but also we have always had a little crush on each other, and we both know that. This was...then. About a couple weeks ago, I had a boyfriend and the guy that is my best bud (Iím gonna make up a name his name is gonna be Green) Green, told me that he liked me alot and he always has been in love with me, at the time...I didn't want to ruin his and my friendship BUT I told him that I always liked him and I always will! well, then it just so happened that me and my boyfriend broke up, then I went on a vacation and on that vacation I realized I really did LOVE green...i came home. Green called me, and told me he went out with someone! so now what do I do? I really do LOVE him but he is so into his new girlfriend! And now that I am the one telling him I am in love with him, he tells me, he likes me and he always will! BUT I WANT HIM FOR MY SELF! what do I do?? it always happens like that, you donít know what you've got until its gone! How can I make him realize that he still loves me...and not her??
From, I love Green

Dear I Love him, he loves her,

Give it some time. That's all you can do. You wouldn't want to lose him as a friend, would you? Perhaps when this new relationship stales, you two will find each other. Meanwhile work at keeping the friendship intact.
ms. X


depressed

Dear msX ~
There is this great guy. Heís a hockey player. So his on the road all the team. So I thought to get his attention was this auction coming up so I decided to bet on him to go on a date with him. We got along so good. I thought I was in love for the first time of my life. After we have been talking alot then he tells me his got a girlfriend back home. But his been with another girl at the games and stuff. We still talk but not as much and I'm so in love with him. I can't get him out of my mind. His in my mind all the time. All I ever want to do is sit at home and wait for his phone call or go to the games and stuff to see him. I am so depress here lately. I just want to sit around and watch TV. Help!

Dear Depressed,
You sound obsessed. I don't want to sound harsh, but a man on the road does not commit easily. You may not even by the first time he cheated on his girlfriend. It was wrong of him to lead you on in any way, but common sense says that someone who gets around as much as he does is not in the market for a relationship with someone new. Your date was the product of an auction, maybe something he committed to before he was tight with his girlfriend. You read too much into it and are now focusing your whole life on it. Wake up. If you're depressed, talk to a therapist, but don't waste your time waiting for a man who was paid...yes, he can deduct his time on the date as a charitable deduction on his taxes...to go out with you.
ms. X


this one girl

Dear msX ~
I like this girl and she says she likes me but she has been done wrong so many times it's hard for her to believe. She has a boyfriend now but she is taking care of him and thats not the way it should be. She needs the best she can get she only 16 and she lives like she is 25 how do I show her I love her and move back home were I can take care of her?

Dear This One Girl,
You sound like a sensitive soul. Sorry, but all you can do is stand by and be a friend. Listen to her, talk to her, but the decision must come from her. You cannot make people love you, you can just show them who you are.
Good luck,
ms. X


love!!

Dear msX ~
Well its not really a problem I just wanted to now !! That I have to guys in my head and one finds me (hot) but lets say that the other one is more of my liking and I donít now what I should do...??

Dear Love!
It isn't always necessary to do something. Just see where these feelings take you.
ms. X


Losing A Friend

Dear msX ~
My best friend since 2nd grade is moving to Florida from Iowa and I hardly see her any more. She just got moved to a different lunch and she isn't in any of my classes. I don't know how I can spend time with her and still make new friends so I have so when she moves. Do you have any ideas?

Dear Losing a Friend,
Kids don't often have choices when their families move. You'll have letters, e-mail, and phone calls, but you can't change things. But, you can keep the friendship fires burning, so that when you're old enough, you still have her address. A parting friendship gift will be something she will remember forever.
ms. X

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