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THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ N O V E M B E R '99 page 2

 
Dear msX,
Hi!!! I really need your help because I can't seem to get a boyfriend or to even get a guy to like me!!!! I think it's because Iím fat and ugly and have the personality of a dork( I like Japanese cartoons, sci-fi and horror movies, comic books, and video games) I'm really desperate cause I feel so lonely. Please help MsX!!!!

Dear Lonely Dork,
I think you know what you have to do. Much as I'd love to tell you that quality fellow is going to love you for your soul, I can't lie. Most guys get their first impression of a girl by how she looks. While I'm sure you're not toe-jamming ugly, that self-critical attitude doesn't help what you project to guys. I'm not touting vanity, but show an interest in your appearance other than being critical of it. Exercise. Brush your hair. Smile. Wear a color that makes you light up. If you show an interest in your appearance, it sends a message to the world that you are beginning to have an interest in boys and you want to be noticed. As people take notice, you will want to work on looking your best. As for your interests, don't change that part of you. Having "boy-ish" hobbies can be a real hook for men as you get older...think of how many guys you could meet at a sci-fi convention or comic trade when you get older. But, don't close yourself off to taking on new stuff as well. Having girl interests is a hook in itself. Find yourself some girlfriends to do girlie stuff with. Take a look at some of the teen magazines out there for "directions" ~ some of them offer guidance about clothing and makeup. This is one of the fun parts of being female, hon, and I think you will enjoy it if you give it a try. Most of all, a depressed attitude attracts no one. Lighten up on yourself and watch how everything else transforms.
Luck to you,
ms X



Dear msX,
There's a girl in a couple of my classes that I like. I want to ask her out, but every time I get ready to ask her, I wimp out. A lot of people already know that I like her and say that I should ask her out, but I can't seem to make myself ask. It's my first time ever asking a girl out, so it's a little different for me than everyone else. If you have any advice on how I could ask her out, please let me know.

Dear Wimp Out,
What's the worst thing that could happen if you ask her out? Maybe she'll say no. But, maybe she won't. You won't know unless you ask. Stop farming all this info out to your friends and act decisively. Confidence is a very attractive commodity and if you act like you have it, you just might acquire some. Good luck,
ms X




Dear msX,
Thanks for helping me so much on my problems but a got a lot more. Lets see where should I start. The guy I wanted, I finally got but when he was over at my house he started to be very weird. He wouldn't even hold my hand when my older sister was in the room. He won't even talk to me. His birthday is to day. I went and got him a play station game. Thats what he wanted. But after I gave it to him; heís been a big a**hole. So what should I do? It seems like he doesn't even like me!!!
Please help!!

Dear Sister Problem,
A play station is a pretty substantial present. In the future, don't gift guys unless they gift you first. That way, you can get a gift of similar value for them and won't frighten them away with any strings they imagine are attached to your presents. People (not just men) are uncomfortable when someone gives them something they don't feel that the relationship warrants. As for your sister, I am not sure. If he interested in her, too? Or is she a scary older sister figure? Maybe he's just a private kind of guy. My advice...next time, save your money.
ms X



Dear msX,
Well this guy and I went to a movie. He went up my shirt and there is this rumor going around that he "kissed them?!" and everyone is asking me what happened. And I donít feel comfortable telling them. I donít know what to say, and I donít want to tell them anything at all. It just isn't right what he did. And now he like said that it was just for fun. I hate it!

Dear Rumors,
If you didn't start this rumor, he must have, no? I would put him in a public situation and, in front of everyone, ask, "Why did you lie about what happened at the movie?" Do it in front of a few friends and watch a new rumor spread...one that says he's a liar. Now think about what you do and with who because guys do talk. If you don't want it known to all, don't do it.
ms X



Dear msX,
OK. Thereís this boy that I have a major crush on but Iím not sure he likes me, I mean when we are around a bunch of people he ignores me but he makes eye contact but then when were alone he talks to me alot! he always tells me about some scars that he has I just cant understand why when we have people around he wont even talk to me or say hi I mean does the guy like me or what? Please tell me some signals I can watch for. PLEASE HELP!!

Dear Mixed Signals,
Why can't you just say, "Hey you, how come you talk to me when we're alone, but clam up when anyone else is around?" I don't understand why you're waiting for him to signal you, sweetie. If you want to know, ask.
ms X



Dear msX,
I had to move away from my home a couple months ago. I had a good job, I was doing well in school, I had a lot of friends, I was big in drama and choir, I had everything going for me. I had the sweetest boyfriend ever. We were so much a part of each other. But now he's thousands of miles away, and we just can't let go!! It is really making me sad though.. I want to be with him so much... What should I do? How can I move on without letting go? How can I be happy?

Dear I Miss Him,
You didn't say why you had to move so far away. I assume it was family and you are too young to live on your own. Well, that won't always be the case, will it? Since you are old enough to work, then it is only a matter of finishing school before you can decide if you want to relocate back home and pursue this romance. In the meantime, keep in touch with him through letters, e-mail, and telephone. Don't cut yourself off from new people, however. This idea is to see where you want to be and you won't know if you like where you are now if you don't give it a chance. You'll need to have a basis of comparison to make such a huge decision. Give your new city a try, but keep the home fires burning. Some romances can survive long distances, some can't.
ms X



Dear msX,
There is this girl that I like a lot. She is the type that plays "hard to get" and she is really hard to get to also. I want to show her that I like her, so how do I do it?

Dear Help!
I Don't know how to approach her! Personally, I feel "hard to get" is "hard to want" ~ I hope you don't mean she is conceited! If you want to show her you like her, you can compliment her, but don't be all fussy. Just a genuine casual compliment, said once, should suffice. See how she responds. If you really want to show her and don't mind taking a chance she could reject you, then buy her a single flower. But, don't be surprised if she likes guys who are equally as hard to get where she's concerned. It's just the way it sometimes is.
ms X


Dear msX,
I like this girl and I heard she likes me too. How should I ask her out, you know to be my girlfriend

Dear Girl Problems,
First you ask her out. To pizza or a movie. Spend some time with her. Then, if you both are happy with your date(s), then you can ask her to be your girlfriend. Don't ask her to be your girlfriend first and do it only if you still like each other after your date.
Good luck,
ms X



Dear msX,
There is this girl that I really like. I take dance classes and that is where we met. She broke up with her bf recently and I see an open door. The thing is, I don't think I have the time to make a relationship work and I really do want this relationship to work. I go to school during the day, dance classes every night, and work every weekend. Is there any way possible that we can make this work? If so, how? Will it effect our friendship if something serious happens? I need help real bad, can you help?

Dear Dancer,
The key here is your common interest in dance. The movie Saturday Night Fever comes to mind, maybe you should watch it together and see what develops. Invite her to a ballet. Ask her to enter a dance contest with you. Ask her to teach you a step. Or go for coffee after dance and talk. See where the friendship and conversation leads, but take it slowly so you don't move in too fast as a rebound. As long as you're still on the dance floor with her, spending time together will seem natural, so don't rush to invite her into the rest of your world. Use the dance part to see if there's more to it.
Slow dancing says alot,
ms X



Dear msX,
I was wondering if there are any exercises besides crunches to help me get a flatter tummy?

Dear Abs,
Sweat. This is really not my forte. I guess there are, but why don't you post your question on The Work It board or somewhere where you can get a glut of answers from people who use those muscles more than I.
Sorry,
ms X


Dear msX,
I'm okay with my body shape and all except for one thing...my legs are too skinny. I was wondering if there are any exercises I can do to make my legs look more shapelier?

Dear Skinny Legs,
Once again, exercise is not my expertise. Post this question on The Work It board or one of the social boards. Someone will know the answer for sure.
ms X

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