ask msX Tell a friend

THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ September '00 page 8



the ARCHIVES

angst

theScene

johnny's

msX home

 
   
 

to page 9

Problem with my baby

Dear msX ~
I liked this guy in my class for awhile, then I told him I liked him and he in turn told me he liked me too and has liked me since the first time I talked to him. We've been friends for awhile now. Then he asked me out and of course I said yes. But before he asked me out I asked a few friends if he was a good guy to go out with and junk. Everyone said he's a good choice, a really nice guy (which he is), and just an awesome person. Me and him are exactly alike. Well we've been going out for 4 days now and everyone says he won't do anything to hurt me ever. I believe them when they say it and I don't wanna keep hanging on to this stupid thing but it's like eating me up inside since it happened last night. Well last night at the football game he kept hanging around all these girls, I mean I know they are friends but I just can't help thinking if he would do anything with those girls. Then after the game was a dance and he wasn't gonna go but all of a sudden he showed up. Well he came and talked to me for awhile and then went over to all of his friends. After not seeing him for about 5-10 minutes I looked behind me and saw him with a bunch of guys and some girls. Then I saw he had his hands on some other girls waist. They weren't dancing they were just standing there. Then I looked again and the girl started shaking her hips and junk. So I walked away and looked for my friend "S". I told "S" what had happened but not all of it because some people wanted me. Then Tom came over to me (Tom is my boyfriend) and was hugging me and holding me in his arms. I mean I don't think he would do anything like that to me intentionally because at every slow song he just came up to me to dance, even if some other guy wanted to and I told him he could dance with other girls. Now ever since then I can't get that out of my head about the girl and his hands on her. Please help me!!! Thanks

msX says~
Try getting it out of your head because being jealous is not a very attractive way to appear and, since he kept homing back to you, it seems you are making something out of nothing. Maybe he is just a touchy-feely kind of guy. If you hold onto it, it's going to hurt you.
Ms. X

Period

Dear msX ~
how do I tell my mom when I have my period?

msX says~
Ask her if she could pick up some Kotex when she's out shopping. She'll know what you are alluding to.
Ms. X

Family

Dear msX ~
Yesterday I came home from school, and my dad didn't hear me come inside. He was in his bedroom on the phone talking about sex to another woman, I could only hear his end of the conversation, but it wasn't hard to put two and two together. I didn't know what to do, so I left for a while, and didn't come home until I knew my mom would be home, because I didn't want to have to confront him about it if he had heard me leave. I told my mom, and she asked him about it. At first he flat out denied it, then later he told her the truth, or part of it at least. He said he had never met this woman, but had been talking to her on the phone for a few weeks. She was also married with kids. Now I am just confused, because he swore ot me and my mom that he was ashamed and would never do anything like this again. I don't know if I should believe him, and I do know that I am not going to trust anything he says for a very long time. My mom was going to talk to him some more tonight while I was at work, so I wasn't sure what things would be like when I got back, she doesn't know yet if she wants him to move out or what. All I know is that I got off work at 12:30AM, and I didn't come home until about 1:15, because I was afraid of what I might find. There have been times where I didn't want to come home because I was angry at my parents, but this is the first time I have ever been scared to come home, and I don't like that feeling. I shouldn't have to be scared of walking into my own home. My dad and I haven't been getting along very well lately anyway, so right now I don't know what to think. I just feel like my world was turned upside-down in one night, and I don't feel at all comfortable around my dad anymore. I guess what I am asking is, should I believe him if he says he won't do it again? I don't really know, because he has been caught lying before, just not about anything nearly as bad as this.

msX says~
This is private stuff between your mother and father, and you have no business there. Even if they involve you, it is for them to work out. I can't imagine why you told your mom. You could have talked to your father privately to tell him what you overheard, but it was his business to talk to your mother. Stay out of it, unless you want to be the catalyst that breaks your parents up and changes things forever. It's their problem, you are almost a grownup with your own life anyway.
Ms. X

french

Dear msX ~
I am 14 and a bit overweight but not totally ugly the main prob is that I am not very confident and I have still not met ika french kissed a boy I feel like a loner as all my friends have and I am worried that it will be terrible and he will slag me if I do meet him Please help me as I need 2 know!!!!!! urgently

msX says~
Kissing of any variety is wonderful stuff when you care about the person you are kissing. Just to do it for the sake of being one of the girls will discount the experience for you. Wait until it's someone you really want to kiss. Take my word for it, you won't be grossed out then. And, instead of having low confidence because of your weight, do something about it. Start walking or exercising and learn to eat healthy. Once your confidence is built up, guys will be lining up to kiss you.
Ms. X

break up

Dear msX ~
My boyfriend had broke up with me about a month ago. He said the reason was because he wasn't ready for a relationship and he didn't know what he wanted. He told me that he didn't want to make any promises about us. We still talk on the phone go out places. Just the same things we use to do while we were going out. We still compliment each other. The weird part about is we slept together twice after the break up. He said that he is still attracted to me in that way. We are having a better time together lately and growing closer to each other. What do have to say about this? Is this strange or wrong?

msX says~
Sometimes taking the label off of a relationship frees its inhabitants from old patterns and makes it more exciting. Yes, he wants you, but he doesn't know if it's forever. If you're okay with it, then there's nothing wrong with it.
Ms. X

kinda shy

Dear msX ~
ok, there's this guy named "J" I really like. only he doesn't know it. We're friends and I go over to his house alot but with my other friend "M". well yesterday I went alone. and I was just talking to him. I know alot about him. and I just stopped by to say hi to him. well I kinda want him to figure out I like him on his own. kinda like in the movies. where if something is suppose to happen then it will. you know what I mean? am I doing the right thing? what should I say to him? Iím usually giving advice to my friends. not asking them! Iím a real shy person. but I really like this guy. its not so easy when your the one who has to do all the work. its easy to tell someone what to do. its just doing it that is the hard part!
please help!!!!!!!

msX says~
You may want him to make the first move, but you may have to wait a long time, hon. People are not mind-readers, perhaps he needs a stronger signal from you before he makes a move. The movies are contrived, life isn't. Sometimes you have to just put it out there.
Ms. X

BF or BFF???

Dear msX ~
I already wrote you about "J" and asked what to say to him but I have another question...... ok, my best friend ("m") rides the same bus as "J" and they live on the same court. when I go to her house she won't "allow" me to go see him. I asked her if she would be mad at me if we started going out and I rode the bus home with him once a week or so. she said yes and she would be really upset with me! but I go to my moms out of town every other weekend and holding a part time job on the weekends Iím here doesn't exactly make real good time to spend with him if something ever were to happen between us. I've explained to her about the time schedule and she says she doesn't care. that she would still be mad at me. what should I say to her! thats not fair! distressed and confused

msX says~
She told you and now it's up to you. Do you care if she's mad at you? Do you need her permission to ride the bus? Your schedule can't be helped, but sometimes you have to go for what you want regardless of the obstacles your "friends" put in your way.
Ms. X

to page 9

the ARCHIVES

johnny's

theScene

msX home

angst

BoardHop

coffeerooms home

 


LinkExchange Network