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THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ September '00 page 5



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confused

Dear msX ~
I have this guy I like and we talk on the phone and flirt and its good between us he asks like if he likes me but he doesnít ask me out I really want to date him but should I tell him that I like him or should I wait I really want to date him. I donít know what I should do the other problem is that my best friend was talking to him first and know he doesnít like her. should I tell him that I like him and want to go out with him I really donít know what to do I really like this guy we beep each other every day and call each other baby. please help me I need to know what to do. thank u

msX says~
Oh well, you call each other baby and can dial each other's beepers. That's true love right there. You have a beginning here, but not a relationship. If you want to take it further, your friend has no claims on him, go ahead. Talking to someone first doesn't give them property rights.
Ms. X

Old Feeling

Dear msX ~
I've been going with this girl for 7 months and Iím starting to feel like our relationship isn't the same anymore and I think she feels the same what can we do to get that old feeling back?

msX says~
Maybe you can't. Not every relationship lasts forever. Knowing when to say goodbye is a good thing.
Ms. X

Butterflies

Dear msX ~
on the first day of school, I met this new guy named "G" . I really like him and he flirts with me a lot, but there is about 5 other girls that like him. I am afraid that if they ask him out first then he will say yes. I am really nervous and I have had butterflies in my stomach for about a week and I can't calm my self down. should I just ask him out?

msX says~
If they ask him out first, so what? Wouldn't you rather be the last girl he goes out with than the first? Think about it.
Ms. X

How can I get through....

Dear msX ~
I HAVE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND WHO IS 19 AND Iím 16. THIS IS THE STORY HE ASKED ME FOR ADVICE AND IF HE SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH THIS GIRL, WHO HE HAS BEEN GOING OUT WITH FOR 4 DAYS. MY FRIEND HAS NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE AND SHE HAS. WHEN HE ASKED ME I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT ABOUT IT, AND HOW HE MIGHT REGRET IT AND HOW MAYBE DOWN THE LINE WHEN HE REALLY LOVES SOMEONE HE WOULD WANT TO GIVE THAT TO HER AND IT WOULD BE SPECIAL. I ONLY SAY THIS BECAUSE I REALLY DO NOT THINK THAT HE DOES NOT LOVE THIS GIRL . I THINK HE JUST WANTS TO HAVE SEX BECAUSE HE WANTS THE BRAGGING RIGHTS. NO "M" ER WHAT I SAY TO HIM HE DOESN'T LISTEN. HOW DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GET THROUGH TO HIM SO HE DOESN'T MAKE A MISTAKE THAT COULD HAUNT HIM IN YEARS TO COME? PLEASE HELP . THANK YOU VERY MUCH

msX says~
You can advise him, which you did, but you cannot make up his mind for him. Remember whose life it is. Not yours. If he makes a mistake, it's his mistake. Everyone should have the privilege of making their own mistakes.
Ms. X

Older Guy

Dear msX ~
I have a pretty big problem. I am in love with a lot older guy. we have know each other for like 6 years and he is my older brother's friend. the problems is we both love each other and want to be able to date but my parents would not let it happen but only b/c I am 16 and he is 22. I know it is a lot of age diff but it more then age or lust we really do love each other but its hard trying to be together when my parents wouldnít like it or approve and they would put him in jail.

msX says~
You have another two years until you're legal. Then you can do whatever you want. The age difference means less as people get older, but when you're underage it "M" ers. Seems your only choice is to see if your love can wait until it has the law on its side.
Ms. X

Impatient

Dear msX ~
a few weeks ago a good friend of mine and I got drunk at a party, long story short I ended up messing around with one of my brother's best friends...someone Iíve known forever...only prob. he has a girlfriend...we both like each other a lot but he feels obligated to stay with her...Iím so in love with him and I donít' know what to do...

msX says~
Be patient. Either you'll get over him or he'll get over her. Meanwhile don't make a nudge of yourself and get on with your life. He obviously knows where you are if he wants to find you.
Ms. X

Mom's Boyfriend

Dear msX ~
my problem is that my parents are splitting and my mom has a boyfriend, two days before we moved out she told my dad about her b/f. after we moved out to her b/f house a week an 3 days later we moved back to my old house. My dad moved out yesterday. now my mom is telling me she wants to get back with her b/f. I don't know what to think! can you help me?

msX says~
You can talk to her, but it's her life and her dilemma. Talk to her to get information, not to control. I know it may be difficult having your life change so rapidly, but your parents are the focus of this problem, not so much you.
Ms. X

Huh?

Dear msX ~
there is this 18-year-old guy that has been sending me some mixed signals. We went on a date and he held my hand, put his arm around me, and all this stuff. So I figured he was at least interested. But then he called me and kind of blew me off by saying "Yeah well I had fun. We should do it again sometime. But I gotta go now. See ya." That is seriously the way it happened. so I was upset but figured oh well. Then last Friday he came to our varsity football game to see me. We hung out, flirted, whatever. So I began thinking okay, he likes me again. but now he told my friend last night that we are just friends. He is sending me mixed signals here! I am really confused. But he also told my friend he wants to ask me to homecoming. Is he just using me? I need some advice, help, SOMETHING! Should I go for him or not?

msX says~
He may like you, like flirting with you and want to take you out, but that doesn't mean he wants to be welded to you. It is possible to want to be with someone for now and not be thinking of forever or even longterm. Go to homecoming with him, if you desire, and see where it goes, but he is being clear that he is not ready to commit.
Ms. X

Lost in Love

Dear msX ~
I'm totally confused about my emotions I've been having lately. It seems that every guy that walks by me in school is so HOT and NICE that I have a crush on him..... I know this is normal, but it's confusing, especially when two of them (I think) like me back! I love THEM the most.

msX says~
You're right, it's normal. Look at it as practice for the real thing.
Ms. X

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