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THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ September '00 page 2



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my life is he**

Dear msX ~
my family is falling apart. my whole family is lying. the scary thing is that they've told so many lies that they actually believe it now. my parents divorced 9 years ago, but it hasn't ended. they can't even look at each other w/out getting into a fight. my mom says things about my step mom and then we go to my dad's house with what our mom said to us. which is usually, "she doesn't love you she hates you and so does your dad" my sister this summer told my mom that she wanted to live w/ my dad. my mom told my sister that she was an awful person and that she hurt her. my mom lives in t.n. and in s.c. so we went back to t.n. after a summer w/ my dad in s.c. and I had learned that my mom didn't ever want kids and that she was probably having am affair and that's how my sister was born and there were so many questions and never enough answers. I drew into depression and I have an eating disorder and started diet pills and am addicted to them. on top of that I have thoughts of suicide and all I want is for the pain to end. that's why my life is he**.

msX says~
Get yourself to a therapist. One of the best gifts you can give yourself. You need ongoing help, not the kind you're going to find online.
Ms. X

I cheated on him

Dear msX ~
I have been going out with this guy for a little more than a year, a few weeks ago we decided to break up because he was moving to Boston to go to college. Boston isnít that far from where we live, but we just thought maybe it would be better. after we broke up we still hung out everyday and we still did everything a couple would do. over the weekend he took me to a club with a couple of his friends. I met a boy there.. and I donít know what I was thinking and I know I made the mistake of going home with this other guy. me and the other guy didnít do anything but just get to know each other. my ex-boyfriend was so mad that he called his sister to come get him and take him to Boston asap.. now heís in Boston and I donít know how to reach him, and I feel as if he isnít going to make the attempt to get in touch with me. I donít know what to do without him, I know heís thinking that I somehow cheated on him with this other guy, but I didnít, and I couldnít. all I can do is cry? what can I do??

msX says~
You may not have technically cheated, but what you did was very rude. You're supposed to leave with the person you arrived with. If you can't offer a sincere apology to him, then cut your losses and learn from the experience.
Ms. X

Drugs?

Dear msX ~
My girlfriend at work has been having a lot of trouble with her son who is now 17 years old. This has been going on for at least a year. Last week she found a small empty baggie in her sons pocket. Printed on the baggie was small little devil heads. (Or what looked like that) Any ideas as to what that was?

msX says~
Not a clue. There must be a website or drug center where you can ask this type of question. She should be talking to her son, though, as direct communication goes a long, long way and beats wondering.
Ms. X

should I begin it?

Dear msX ~
well in May my school fellow "A" told me that our friend "M" asked HER if she could tell ME that HE wants to go out with me. I said no coz I was afraid that when "A" gets to know it she will start laughing and all the rest will... and that would be awful... I get very nervous about it.. in June, I called "M" twice in case he'll say something -- but he didn't. we also met three times on the street but we just said HI and thats all. after my call, he told "A" "I've been talking to a great person," but he didnít mention WHO actually it was. I guess he was talking about me? now, I would like to at least try going out with him -- but shall I be the first? I mean, he'll never say it to me....

msX says~
If you want it, go for it. Waiting for him, it might never happen. If you don't, you may wonder "what if" in the future.
Ms. X

I want him to like me again!

Dear msX ~
I have been seeing "J" for about a month now. I really like him and I think he is the one I have been looking for. The other night on my birthday he was with my friend talking and laughing the whole time like I wasn't even there so I started talking and flirting with my ex-bf. We end up kissing and thats when "J" walked outside and caught me kissing. He didnít' say anything nor left the party but I was mad at him too. After that day which was 2 days ago we talked on the phone and he told me that things aren't gonna be the same and he is really pissed at me I told him that I really like him and I want him to know that I would never do such thing again but he is still mad at me no "M" or what. Tell me what to do to make it up to him? I really like him. HELP!

msX says~
Actions speak louder than words. You blew his trust and now, to add insult to injury, you can't even say that it was with someone important to you. How would you feel if the tables were turned? Do you really think you would be any more understanding?
Ms. X

STRETCH MARKS

Dear msX ~
I HAVE STRETCH MARKS ALL OVER MY SHOLDERS DO YO KNOW WHY I HAVE THEM I NEED HELP WHY I HAVE THEM AND WHAT TO USE ON THEM Iím 14 SOME PEOPLE SAY THEYLL GO AWAY BUT I DUNNO

msX says~
Why don't you post this question on one of the health or exercise boards? I don't have any answers for you, dear.
Ms. X

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