ask msX Tell a friend

THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ August '00 page 4



the ARCHIVES

angst

theScene

johnny's

msX home

 
   
 

 

Bill's Sister

Dear msX ~
It's not fair. I know everything isn't fair in life but there is no way out. All Bill does is correct and bug me to point where I get so mad that all I can do is take defense. So, I hit. I know I shouldn't but, in the past I told him to stop and he hasn't and I don't know what to do because it is all that gets his attention. How else can I get his attention? My dad is so important to me and he hit me, told me not to hit my brother and said that it got my attention. It was like the first time he has ever done this so, it really surprised me. So, later in the day I hit my brother because he would make fun of me and corrected me about saying clis instead of chris on accident and stuff like that. It drives me insane because he is younger than me and he tells my mom everything on me and she gets mad. That is understandable but she will never listen to me. I tell her that it annoys me that he corrects and makes fun of me but she just tells me that she doesn't care and that it is no reason to hit and that I shouldn't hit. I understand that I shouldn't hit but, what do you think? What should I do? I told my mom and now she is going to get mad at my dad and I don't want her to.

msX says~
Hitting isn't right no matter who dishes it out. Sit down and have a family conference where everyone gets their own five minutes to talk without interruption, including your brother. Everyone else has to shut up and listen until it's their turn. You, too. Then make some family rules, one of which is, hitting is never permitted.
ms. X


??

Dear msX ~
Me and my b/f didn't really have intercourse, but I don't think his penis touched me down there. It did get close though and I need to know if there is a chance I could get pregnant?

msX says~
A kind of too close for comfort call. If you're going to go that far, you need birth control and protection. Be smart.
ms. X


Party

Dear msX ~
My teenager held a party at my home while the rest of the family was away. She was supposed to be staying with a friend. Things were stolen, Damage was done (minor) a number of kids slept over apparently. What would be the appropriate consequence for this situation? Obviously we are quite shocked and disappointed.

msX says~
Make her name names and call their parents. Explain what happened. While they may not offer to make good on the damages, your daughter will be properly mortified and the message will go forth that you are not parents to screw around with. Make her pay her share, too.
ms. X


Wanting My Best Friend

Dear msX ~
I have been friends with this girl Actually she has been my best friend for six years through high school we have celebrated all our birthdays together I have flirted with her some times but she is beautiful I couldnít help it well any way my problem is that she is going into the Army in a month. running away from life I guess. Her birthday just passed and we got a little drunk and we kissed touched each other a little but that was it. We have talked about this and we have both come to the conclusion that we want to go all the way, and tonight just happens to be the night. I donít know what to do now I am very nervous I donít want to ruin the friendship but I really want her now and she wants me. Should I risk it all on a one night fling, or is it ok because we both talked about it before. I would really like to know if I am making a big mistake.


msX says~
Best friends make the best lovers. But, your night is over by now. I hope you followed your instincts.
ms. X


Iím a little nervous

Dear msX ~
You see I don't usually go out on dates. Iím going on a double date with my friend and the guys she is with and his friend tomorrow and Iím extremely nervous. I might his friend once and no Iím afraid that Iím not going to be myself or make myself look stupid or something. He's also older than me so it's a little intimidating! What should I do, Iím thinking about not going, should I go or not?

msX says~
Relax, how are you going to gain experience if you don't practice. Look at this as a dress rehearsal and try to have fun. Stop worrying, it is only one short moment in your life.
ms. X


FRIEND DELEMA

Dear msX ~
ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO I MADE A NEW FRIEND SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN NICE TO ME AND SEEMS REALLY GREAT NOW BEFORE I MET HER SHE HAD A FRIEND WHO SHE HAS KNOWN SINCE 4TH GRADE WE DID NOT GET ALONG IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT NOW SHE IS SHOWING SHE HATES ME AND IS TELLING ME THAT MY GOOD FRIEND DOES NOT LIKE ME EATER WHAT SHOULD I DO???

msX says~
I'd ignore her. Branch out and make new friends. Let your real friend speak for herself.
ms. X


air sickness

Dear msX ~
Which is the best way to not fear air sickness and not to vomit?

msX says~
I have no answer for you. People use all sorts of techniques to relax when flying, from tranquilizers, to visualizations, to reading a good book. Post the question on one of the boards and maybe you'll get some fresh advice.
ms. X


Love?

Dear msX ~
I am a junior in HS and he is a freshman is college. I have been dating him for 10 months...and he is totally in love w/ me.. BUT I don't know if I am w/ him. We've talked about it and he still tells me he loves me and I don't know if I do or not? He is the most sweetest and caring guy you'll EVER meet! I luv him to death! My family thinks he's great. He's the guy I would want to marry. but I am in HS and want to date around and I love flirting! Lately we've gotten really close, like almost having intercourse and I don't know if I want to or not. He knows I wanna wait and he told me he wants too but he doesn't act like it. And his penis got awfully close to me and I don't know if there is a chance of me getting pregnant. Is there if we didn't have intercourse?

msX says~
Don't take any chances without being protected? You are one thrust away from having intercourse, don't fool yourself. You're not done with high school, he's got plans for college, Iím not saying don't have sex, but please don't have an "oooops moment" and leave yourself unprotected. If you have these feelings about not wanting to be tied down yet, trust them, and maybe think about putting off intimacy. There's no crime in wanting to shop around before you make your final selection.
ms. X


donít belong at Aviara middle school

Dear msX ~
I go to a rich school a trendy snobby school where Iím not being treated the way I should be. see I transferred into another district Iím supposed to go to a school called San Marcos middle school all of my old friends go there it is an ugly run down school but people are nicer there and people that I havenít met yet who go there respect me already I know I would fit in there at Aviara Oaks to be popular all you have to do is drive up in a Mercedes if your rich your in whatever happened to being popular for being a nice person and having a good personality the boys constantly make fun of my name its Giselle and they say Jizzelle cause jizz is sperm and they call me jezebel in other words a she devil this year my grades have dropped I went to an honor roll student to almost failing the girls call me a lesbian I donít know why Iím very pretty they just donít like me for some stupid reason and the boys think I stuff an amazing thing happened though a boy at the other school likes me an invited me to go to the movies with him he is very popular and I feel wanted at the other school I hate feeling so left out.

msX says~
Stop whining. Whiny people are fun to provoke because their reaction is so obvious. You're new at their school and it's obvious you're unhappy. You're criticizing their school, their lives, everything about them, and they are defending it by picking on you. If you don't like it, learn to keep it to yourself and you'll get picked on less. Finding friends has less to do with being rich, pretty, or popular than it does about being compatible.
Grow up, kid.
ms. X


Period Problem

Dear msX ~
Hi, I got my period last summer and it's been pretty "on schedule" up until now. The last two times it has been a week early, and this time it was super early--only 19 days since the last one! Isn't it supposed to be 28 days?? Is anything wrong with me? I heard that periods come irregularly for awhile; is this just an irregularity that everyone deals with?? Or should I do something about it? PLEASE HELP!

msX says~
This is a medical question. A good time for a first visit with a gynecologist is when a girl first gets her period. Have mom make an appointment and go with a list of all your questions.
ms. X


"I feel like Iím not supposed to be here."

Dear msX ~
My 12 year old daughter explains her feelings as "I feel like Iím not supposed to be here, I don't fit in anywhere". She says this whether she's at her dad's or with me (we've been divorced since she was two years old and she has always spent alternate weeks with one parent.} She is now saying it after being in middle school for only one week. She's so sad. Help! What is going on here?

msX says~
The arrangements you made for your daughter may not fit her anymore. She's adolescent and more focused on her peers. Moving from parent to parent on alternate weekends wrecks havoc with her budding social life. Things happen when she's away, she misses the continuity of the action. Maybe you and her father need to rethink these arrangements. Breakfasts on the weekend, dinners during the week, she's not the youngster she once was and her needs are different now. Include her, of course, in the final outcome, and if need be, by all means, consult a professional for short-term counseling.
ms. X


Does he still want me?

Dear msX ~
I have a boyfriend that I love very much and he says that he loves me, but lately heís been acting very different towards me. He left for a 3 week trip to California and just before that he started acting very different towards me. He hardly ever calls me I havenít seen him since he left for California. I found out that he cheated on me earlier in our relation ship, but we talked things out for a while and got back together. We have a pretty big gap between our ages Iím 14 and he just turned 18 Iím not sure that has any thing to do with why heís been acting so weird because it never seemed to bother him before. He never talks to me the way he used to. Iím not sure if their is some thing bothering him or if theirs someone else. Does this mean that he doesnít want me any more? How should I confront him with all my questions? Please help me.

msX says~
You know how I feel about fourteen year olds dating eighteen year olds. Not good. He's out of line and you're still a baby. He could get in serious trouble with someone as young as you are.
ms. X


Torn

Dear msX ~
HELP!!! I am torn between my boyfriend and my best friend!!! Recently I got back together with my ex who I had dated for a year! The only problem is that before hand I had been talking to my best friend who is in the navy alot, and I had started to develop feelings for him. My navy friend and I had talked about getting back together once he came home in September, and I was really excited, since I had a crush on him since sophomore year in high school (I will now be a sophomore in college). Well, to complicate things, one day I got a phone call from my ex, who is in the marines. We talked for an hour and a half, and close to the end of the conversation he told me that he wanted me back, that he missed me and that he wanted us to be together . . the only problem is that he was going to be shipped off to Japan for 6 months in 3 days. I tried to convince him that it would be best to wait till he came home, but he said that he thought that we could make this work, and that he was willing to if I was. So I told him that I did want to be with him and that I had since the day that we had broken up. I love my ex very much, but at the same time I believe that I am starting to fall for my best friend. I donít want to risk loosing him as a friend, and I donít want to loose a chance to be back with my first love. What should I do? Some of my friends think that I should just go for my best friend, since my boyfriend is in Japan, so we are not really "dating". Please help me MsX!!!

msX says~
Write your ex in Japan, but don't put your life on hold for him. See the other guy, your best friend, and give him the chance he deserves. Japan can't expect that you'll be sitting home waiting anyway. See where your heart really leads.
ms. X


Still in Love?

Dear msX ~
I was with a boy Dave for 4 months, it ended about 9 months ago, during those 9 months I have had another boyfriend but during that relationship I realized I didn't like him near as much as I like Dave. I miss Dave incredibly, but we never talk, and I think he may have another girlfriend. I do not want to even try to talk to him because that would me approaching him, if he was interested.. wouldnít he approach me? School starts soon and I was thinking maybe contact with him there may make things different...I am impatient!:( Thank you for your time and thoughts.

msX says~
There's no rule that the boy has to be the one to make the first move, is there? I mean that went out with poodle skirts and bobby sox, didn't it? If you like him and want to take a chance on finding out he likes you back, ask him. Otherwise, just wait and wait and wait.
ms. X


Scared

Dear msX ~
I know this is for girls, but Iím a seventeen year old guy who needs some advice. two weeks ago me and one of my friends (another guy) were coming home from work and when we went to his house we started fooling around. not anything serious just kissing and touching, but Iím really freaked out. I never in any way thought I could be gay or anything and the fact that this was a close friend is so weird. we havenít talked since then and Iím scared he is going to tell someone. I donít know what to do.

msX says~
He's probably just as scared you'll talk. I wouldn't worry. I don't know who initiated it, but it's not something a guy would spread around, knowing how cruel people can be. I don't know what it means either. That answer lies inside your head.
ms. X


feeling hated

Dear msX ~
My dad and I always argue about my "attitude" and it has gotten to the point of him wanting me out of his house. He thinks I am ungrateful and rude, but I don't even feel like I am that bad. I get good grades, and I try really hard to please him and my mom, but nothing seems to be right. I am always wrong and I feel like he hates me. I feel like asking him if he hates me because I donít want to cause them any more heartache ~ I would rather move out than make my family's life miserable. I don't want to leave and I love my parents... I just want to make them happy, but I don't know what to do. Please help soon.

msX says~
Sit down and talk to him when there's no anger involved. Take turns and listen to each other. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Opening the lines of communication should enable you guys to work out a livable solution.
ms. X


to page 2

the ARCHIVES

johnny's

theScene

msX home

angst

BoardHop

coffeerooms home

 


LinkExchange Network