ask msX Tell a friend

THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ JULY '00 page 3



the ARCHIVES

angst

theScene

johnny's

msX home

 
   
 

to page 4

low self esteem

Dear msX ~
I have a few problems. the first one is that I have no self-esteem. I just wish I was pretty and beautiful but I know I am not The second problem is that this kid always makes fun of me calling me ugly and stuff like that and it lowers my self-esteem even more!!! The third problem is that I went to a banquet and it all seemed to go pretty well until we went in the limo to cruise around then everyone started to confess who liked who. Everyone had someone who likes or liked them. Except me!!! and this other girl!!! I donít know what to do!!! I just want a boyfriend!!! Please help with my problem!!!

Dear Low Self Esteem,
Focus on your positives and build. You can't be 100% ugly, you must have some good points to highlight. Improve what you can and put yourself into new environments, where people don't have preconceived ideas about you. What you're experiencing now is The Ugly Duckling phase. Pretty soon in time, you'll find yourself a swan.
Good luck,
ms. X


Real Life Chat Room Get-togethers

Dear msX ~
I have a secret that I can't tell my parents. My brother and I go on this chat and we have lots of friends on it, and my parents don't have any problem with that. But, my brother has given out our phone number to numerous people so far and has promised me he wouldn't do it again but did. Luckily, none of them did any harm. I know inside that he will get caught because of the long distance calls that will appear on my parents' bills. Now he wants to meet someone in real life. I can't stop him because he is older than me and will never have respect for me again if I tell our parents. I am going to camp for a month soon and he's going to get together with this girl on the chat while my parents and me are out of town. I am just so scared that he will get hurt or worse, like in those horrid stories that are in the news often. I tried to give him a warning, but he just yelled at me and threatened me if I told our parents. I do admit I am afraid of him. I really feel scared.

Dear Real Life Chat Brother,
If he's set on this meeting, and you're sure you don't want to involve your parents, then you should insist your brother meet this person in a public setting and not in your home. I know you must be worried, but if you won't tell your parents, which may or may not be the right thing to do, then you have allow that your brother will do what he wants anyway.
Good luck and I hope your worries are unfounded,
ms. X


Dear msX ~
Hi! Iím just a kid with a BIG problem! Iím in the popular group. We are all supposed to ignore the unpopular kids. Well, one of my good friends is unpopular but acts dumb and dorky. Now she's mad at me because I don't pay attention to her. I mean, she doesn't wash her hair for goodness sakes. Anyway, she told me I was a jerk and I was stupid. She said more things but I don't think they are suitable here. My friends tell me to dump her but I don't want her to feel left out because she has no other friends and she'll tell her mom and I'll get in trouble. She's been a pain lately and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be a Dorkbomb because I hang out with her or I don't want to be a Stuck-Up Society Girl either. Please help me!

Dear Friend of Dork,
Your sensitivity is overwhelming, hon. Nice of you to care about your poor pathetic unpopular friend. Are you worried about her or about getting in trouble for not including her? Whatever be the case, I'd try judging people by less superficial means. But, since she's calling you names, maybe she's not all that high on your friendship either.
Think about it.
ms. X


weight

Dear msX ~
I am 13 years old 156 cm and I weigh 9 and a half stone. I get teased alot. How do I go about a safe way to loose weight. Ideal weight 7 and a half stone.

Dear Weight,
I believe there is a Board at Coffeerooms to discuss
dieting and health issues. Check into finding a buddy there to support you in your weight loss. You would find better answers and more information there than I can give you.
Good luck,
ms. X


FLAT-CHESTED

Dear msX ~
I AM 14 YEARS OLD AND I AM FLAT-CHESTED. IS THERE ANY WAYS MY BREAST CAN GROW FASTER? WILL IT EVER GROW? HOW CAN I MAKE IT GROW BIGGER? SOME PEOPLE MAKES FUN OF ME AND I ACTUALLY CRIED. WHEN I SEE OTHER PEOPLE BIG BREAST IT HURTS ME. Iím STILL WEARING A STUPID TRAINING BRA. PLEASE HELP.

Dear Flat-Chested,
Your breasts still have time to grow and probably will. I don't know what heredity gave you. Your mind is another story. Learn to focus on what is important and you won't be so easily hurt. Breasts are only a part of the package, develop your other assets, just in case heredity didn't give you an abundance of boob.
ms. X


Older Man?

Dear msX ~
I'm 18 and the other day I was at my work and I struck up a conversation with guy I was waiting on. He seemed really nice so when he asked for my number I was Like - Why not? and I gave it to him. We talked a couple of times and set a date to go to a movie, this coming Tuesday. Eventually I flat out asked him how old he is, he hesitated but told me 26! He seems really nice but can I trust a 26 year old who hits on 18 year olds? Should I give him a chance?

Dear Older Man,
When you're eighteen, you are legally an adult. He is allowed to hit on you. However, if your instincts are shouting to you that this isn't kosher, listen to them. There is no hard and fast rule for age differences once you get past the age of consent, you've got to consider the individual. Listen to yourself.
ms. X


two girls

Dear msX ~
hi Iím 17 years old, and going to be a senior. I started seeing this girl a month ago, and she's 18 and going to be a freshmen in college. I have only know her since February. we havenít gotten that serious because we both know sheís going to college in a month. the thing is she is my best friend, which will be a junior in HS, cousin. And I really have a hard time keeping in a relationship after a month. I just found out one of my other friends, which I have known since I was in 7th grade, his sister, which will also be a freshmen in college, just said that she broke up with her boyfriend, and really likes me, but I didnít tell her about the other girl. only because I wont be taking her out for another two weeks, because I am going out of town one week and her the next week. I donít know what to do, should I stay with one, go to the other, or try to be with both for the time being. I donít want to hurt either girl because I donít want to ruin the relationship with my friends. in any way please help!!!

Dear Two Girls,
At this transitional point in all your lives, stuff happens. People get over it. Just follow your feelings and play fair. That's all anyone can do.
ms. X


I am so in love

Dear msX ~
I am so in love with this girl that I know, and she said she's interested in me but when I go see her she seems to look over me and hardly talk to me. Always talking to someone else barely acknowledging me it seems. She works about every night 40 hours a week so every time I ask her to go do something she can't, and I know she isn't lying. Every time I see her or talk to her I feel like Iím on top of the world (not meant to sound like titanic, sorry) but then when we part I feel like shit for the next week, I become distant from my friends and family and quite the asshole too. She knows I like her, but not how much I really do love her The other problem is she live far away like a 45 minute or drive which I don't mind at all if Iím going to see her but it is a conflict. I want to tell her how strongly I feel about her but Iím afraid of scaring her or being rejected and then I don't know how I would go on. All I know is I need to do something before I become mentally disturbed. What do u think I should do? Tad long I know but I got a lot bottled up inside

Dear Tad Long,
Without any dramatics, talk to her. You can tell her exactly what you wrote with a little less exclamation point, can't you? Instead of speculating about how she feels, ask her. It's the not knowing that is really making you nuts. Maybe she's just nervous when she's around you because she likes you so much and that's why she ignores you. Or, maybe she's frightened by your intensity. You won't find out unless you ask her, will you?
Good luck,

ms. X


I donít know if he likes me

Dear msX ~
there is this guy I really like . the problem is he is 19 and Iím 14. he was engaged for 1 year to a girl who was 15 at the time and she is now 16. he works 3:30 till 11:30 so he isnít in town alot . I was riding with my mother on a Sunday when he didnít have 2 work and he pulled us over and I talked 2 him about 15 mins. he is really nice and funny and is really cute and has a great personality. I donít know if he likes me or not and I donít know what 2 do . if u can give me any advice at what I could do ,please help me !! thanks

Dear 2 Young 4 Him,
First of all, at your age, five years is a whole other planet, so get real. Maybe in a couple of years when you're not jail-bait, but not now. And, if he were drawn to you, I'd wonder why he seems to go for younger girls. It says something about him. Fifteen minutes of generic chat with you and your mother does not constitute flirting. Have a crush, if you wish, but keep it 2 yourself.
ms. X


My friend might be pregnant

Dear msX ~
My 15 year old friend might be pregnant and she has told me only, what do I do now? do I tell someone or not?

Dear Friend of Preggie,
Tell her she must see a doctor or tell her adults or someone in authority immediately or you will have to tell them for her. You really don't want to be the one to tell, understand, because this is her life, her problem, and her secret, and will affect her long after you guys may have outgrown your friendship. Just hope that you can make her understand that she needs grownup help to get through this and the sooner she gets it, the better. Everyone may yell a little, but they'll get over it. A baby, however, will not necessarily get over lack of prenatal care.
ms. X


everything

Dear msX ~
I like someone and he's 19, I am only 15. he's really good friends with both my brothers and I like him sooo much. he's the smartest and funniest person I have ever met, and I don't usually say things like that... should I just try and stop liking him... I don't know what to do!

Dear Everything,
You don't have to stop liking him. In time, your age difference won't mean so much. But, now it does. So, like him quietly, become his friend, and perhaps, in time when you're a little older, it'll turn into something more. Meanwhile do some hanging out with people your own age and keep an open mind.
ms. X


stretch marks!!!

Dear msX ~
I have I big problem well Iíve had worst but I am going to Florida in about 3 months and I need a bikini body please help ASAP

Dear Stretch marks,
This is not my area of expertise. However, there are boards here in The Coffeerooms for exercise, diet, and grooming. People share ideas and support for getting and staying in shape and looking their best. You could post your questions there and see what kind of feedback you come away with. Maybe you could find yourself a diet-buddy, too.
ms. X


the evil step-dad

Dear msX ~
Well see my family is real screwed up and I donít know what to do. My mom and dad r divorced but that is not the prob c the guy my mom married thinks I am spoiled and I am because Iím all my mom has. He always rubs it in my face and tells me to shutup what should I do before I do something stupid?
signed, spoiledarella

Dear Spoiledarella,
You may not like having to share your mother with a new person. But, if you really loved her, you'd be a little less adversarial with her new husband. Iím sure she's proven her love for you a hundred thousand times. Allow her some time and space to work on her marriage without putting demands on her. Doesn't she deserve that? Maybe once you drop the rope in this tug-of-war over your mom, your step-dad will see you in a different light. Maybe he won't be so quick to put you down. And, maybe you'll both declare a truce out of your mutual love for your mom. Or, on the other hand, you could fight with him for the rest of your time under their roof, make your mother unhappy and torn, and walk around with anger in your gut all the time.
Take your pick.
ms. X


he's going to college

Dear msX ~
I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world, but this fall he's going to college and Iím only going to be a junior in high school. Iím really worried we won't make it. Even more Iím scared of being hurt. We've been going out for 7 months. I don't want to break up, but I don't want to be hurt. Iím really scared and confused. What should I do?

Dear Junior,
There's nothing you can do but go forward and see what the future brings. There are never any guarantees, my dear.
ms. X


my parents treat me like Iím 16

Dear msX ~
I'm 18 and my parents still treat me like Iím 16. I was told when I was 17 by my parents that I would not have a curfew when I turned 18, as long as I came home at a reasonable hour, I came home every night around 12 or 12:30 p.m. Which was fine with my parents until I called one night at 12:15 and asked if I could stay out later, my parents agreed. But when I came home, on time, they yelled at me and now Iím stuck with a 12 p.m. curfew and I can't take it anymore. How can I convince them that I need a later curfew and that I deserve it because I do behave when I am out late, even though recently they have been thinking differently. Please help me.

Dear Eighteen,
You're a legal adult and can get your own apartment. That's one solution. But, if you're not in a position to move out, you might have to play by their rules or negotiate some new ones. Sit down calmly with them and discuss what rules everyone can live with. You are not asking for that much really.
ms. X


to page 4

the ARCHIVES

johnny's

theScene

msX home

angst

BoardHop

coffeerooms home

 


LinkExchange Network