ask msX Tell a friend

THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ JULY '00 page 2



the ARCHIVES

angst

theScene

johnny's

msX home

 
   
 

 to page 3

best friends since seventh grade

Dear msX ~
I have had the same best friend since seventh grade. I know our friendship means a lot to each other but every time she has a boyfriend I become less important. I have talked with her about this many times and again she is in a new relationship and I seem to be a nobody. She spends every minute with her guy and only spares enough time to smoke a bowl, then drop me off at home. This hurts me a lot.

Dear Same Best Friend,
Make some other friends. Not that this friendship is over, but it's unbalanced right now. You need to depend less on your friend and build up your own life. Not to say she won't be a part of your life, now or in the future. But if you can't expect her to be there for you, find some others who will.
Best of luck,
ms. X


BEST FRIEND OR LOVER?

Dear msX ~
Well there is this guy I have known since 3rd grade. I totally like him, I mean he is sweet and athletic he's a poet for god's sake. But he is dating this girl who nobody likes especially me... But should I tell him how much I like him? or not? Thanks

Dear Best Friend or Lover,
You can tell him, you have no allegiance to his girl. But, be prepared to possibly be rejected. After all, he's known you since third grade and hasn't chosen you before. And, he's with another girl, who doesn't seem to be holding a gun to his head, forcing him to date her. What makes you think he'd chose you?
ms. X


Boyfriend

Dear msX ~
my problem is I am a 13yr old girl and I have been with my boyfriend 4yrs and now I feel I am in a one person relationship. I want to dump him but I still love him. But if I stay with him I will be unhappy. Please help me
thanks, S

Dear S,
So you have a life sentence with this fellow? Or are you just hoping he will break up with you first? You do him no favors when you stay with him out of pity. When your feelings die, it's time to move on.
ms. X


the datin game

Dear msX ~
My name is john and Iím a teen and I been doin bad in the datin game. I need some advice on how to approach girls and what to talk about after I approach them.

Dear John,
I think you just need practice. Be yourself and relax. There is no single right approach for everyone because we all are uniquely different. As you have more social interaction, you will get better at it. Guaranteed.
ms. X


maybe you can help me

Dear msX ~
I like this guy, Aj and he is one of my first loves, he is the second. and well we broke up in December and I am not over him. lately we have been getting along and we talk, we used to not talk and I was very mean to him for a period of time. now I am sure he knows I like him because I apologized for the past 6 months and there is flirting. but the problem is that in his last relationship he had sex with the girl and he knows I am against it, I never thought he would do those things before marriage, he did. and my question basically is, is should I consider going back out with him since I still love him even though I still don't know what I think about the sex he had in his last relationship?

Dear Maybe You Can Help Me,
If AJ had sex when he was broken up with you, it is only your concern if he is bringing any STD's into your relationship. By all means, you can insist on an AIDs test, but you cannot punish him for things he did when he wasn't with you nor can you expect to dictate another person's moral code. In short, hon, the answer is another question. Can you live with his history without it being the focus of your present time together? If you can't, stay away, for both your sakes.
Good luck,
ms. X


Everything My Heart Desires

Dear msX ~
There is a guy who I have liked since the day I met him, a year and a half ago. He is a semi-friend, but we don't go to the same school. We've talked before and chatted on line. About 2 months ago I told him how I felt and it didn't turn out as I hoped. He had just broken up with his girl friend two weeks earlier and said he was flattered and appreciated the thought but that it was too soon to get into a relationship. I have been trying to get over him but I can't. What should I do?

Dear Everything My Heart Desires,
He said too soon but he didn't say never. Go about your life. Maybe the time will come when you two will connect. Maybe not. But, in the meantime, work on your friendships, with him and with others and move forward with your life.
Good Luck,
ms. X


BULLYING

Dear msX ~
I GET BULLIED BCAUSE I HAD A BOYFRIEND AND GOT PREGNANT. EVERY1 SAYS I AM A SLUT AND STUFF JUST COZ I HAVE A BABY AT 18!! PLEASE HELP

Dear Sarah,
Who's been bullying you? Bullies get nervous when their victims fight back. If you're old enough to be a mother, then you're old enough to rise above idle gossip. Ignore it or respond in kind, but don't let it incapacitate you. You have a baby to take care of, much more important stuff than listening to babble.
ms. X


thinking about him everyday

Dear msX ~
well, my ex had a crush on me and started asking me out for 6 months when we finally started dating each other. however, after 9 months of relationship, he gave up on me, although Iím not exactly sure why he did such a thing if he has tried so hard to date me. The problem is that although I didn't know he even existed in the beginning, now Iím realizing how much I love him and want to get back with him. He's not seeing any girls, nor he's a girl-getter. I'm the longest crush he has ever had and he's told me that this was the only real relationship he has ever had. If the main reason why he gave up the relationship is because he couldn't handle all the stress I was giving him, do you think by giving him a month or two to cool off by seeing his friends (possibly girls) would get him back on track? or should I just move on?

Dear Thinking About Him Everyday,
Just move on. He knows where you are if he's interested.
ms. X


stressing me out

Dear msX ~
I recently ran into a girl who was previously my friend and honestly, has more major problems than I can count on one hand. She lives close to me, so I had been rather thankfull that we had not run into each other and drifted, I wasn't trying to be a bad friend at the time but I didn't want to become embroiled in her sordid life. Anyway, I see her on the street today and she is all jovial and hugs me, asks me why we don't hang out anymore, small talk is made, she introduces me to her friend who she is walking with and then asks for my phone number, I caved. I gave her my number; yes, my real phone number... because I didn't want to hurt her in front of her friend and also I didn't want her to flip out on me, as I previously stated, she's less than all there and prone to outbursts. How do I handle this? I don't have any desire to be her friend and the entire situation is stressing me out.

Dear Old Friend,
Why not invest in an answering machine and learn to screen your calls? If you don't call her back a couple of times, she'll lose interest or get the hint. Make no apologies for distancing yourself from her. If your instincts tell you bad news, they are usually correct.
ms. X


my best friendís older brother

Dear msX ~
I have a crush on my best friendís older brother and if we get together, I don't want my friend to feel as if I was using her. What should I do?
troubledangel-fl-19

Dear Troubled Angel,
Unless you secured your friendship with her just to get close to her brother, she'll have no reason to feel that way, should you connect with him. I'd wait to tell her until after you ascertained the connection was mutual, just to avoid an outsider's input into the situation. And, I would continue to honor the friendship, not neglecting her in favor of her brother.
ms. X


tempted

Dear msX ~
I've had a huge crush on a girl for quite a while now, I've also known her and her family since I was born. Well, recently I've learned of her crush on me. I'm tempted to ask her out, but there is always a chance that things don't work out and things a re changed between our families. Should I ask her out?

Dear Huge Crush on Family Friend,
Go for it! I think your families will understand if things don't work out. You're worrying prematurely. Ask her out already.
ms. X


online lover

Dear msX ~
I have met a guy online and my parents thoroughly disapprove. He and I have been chatting for about a couple of months but we just recently (about two weeks ago) decided to be with each other in a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of way. After about two days of being together like this he told me he loved me and I have never just came out and said that to someone. He told me the reason he said that was because it felt right so eventually I gave him my heart. Soon my parents found out and started fighting with me about it and I came to realize that I was bringing him into a situation that was about to blow up. Now I am moving to my father's and he doesnít approve of him either but he is willing to give it a try>but I think my online lover is willing to just give it up. I really care for this guy a lot and I do not want to loose him what should I do in order to keep him?

Dear Online Lover,
You have a lot of stuff going on at once. Life is like that, you don't always get pitched one problem at a time. Sometimes you have to juggle before you can set priorities. Can you continue chatting with your online love while you work on settling into your dad's and establishing some ground rules? Needing time is not a final no answer.
Good luck,
ms. X


Mom with a good kid

Dear msX ~
I am a mom with a 14 yr. old daughter and her main problem is that she is a good kid with morals and it is causing her problems. Is there any support group out there for teens to see that there are other good teens too! Please help!!!

Dear Mom with A Good Kid,
Your daughter's not the only good kid on the planet. There are millions. The obvious places to look for like-minded company are your church, her school, the local community. Volunteer work puts her with other dedicated people, while she's learning about contributing to the world. The less obvious places are all around you. Don't be so quick to judge other people's children by what you see on the outside. Just because they don't look or act like yours, doesn't mean their morals are lacking. Teach your daughter to be open and genuine, so she will attract those who share her inner qualities.
Amen,
ms. X


why

Dear msX ~
I know my moms friend dee dee she was nice she died last year in May on the22nd her funeral was on my birthday the 29th.

Dear Why,
It's hard to lose someone you care about. I'm sorry for your loss, but I have no answers. Go to the library and ask the librarian to help you choose some books about dying that are geared to your age group. There are lots. Maybe you'll find the answer you're looking for there.
ms. X


Friends

Dear msX ~
I really like this guy, but he likes my friend. thats fine cos she doesnít like him. I want to ask him out, but what if he says no?? I've never had a boyfriend and I'd love to be his girl, Should I take the risk of being put down? I doubt he likes me, but I donít know what to do???
Please help,
S

Dear S,
Take the risk.
ms. X


 to page 3

the ARCHIVES

johnny's

theScene

msX home

angst

BoardHop

coffeerooms home

 


LinkExchange Network