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THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ J A N U A R Y '00 ~ page 8

 

TEEN GUY WHO MAY BE TO AFFECTIONATE(CLINGY)

Dear msX ~
I've been dating my girlfriend for about 2 1/2 weeks now and I really really like her alot but my sis was talking to me recently and she says that I am to "clingy" and she also told me that my girlfriend thought I was clingy to my sis gave me some advice she told me that I should always play hard to get even after I start dating the girl and I know that she is right I know that sometimes I may be a little to affectionate I guess I really have 3 questions is it ok to be really affectionate?, and if not when do I be affectionate?, and how do I play hard to get without her thinking Iím trying to blow her off? "

Dear Too Affectionate,
Yes, too much swarming is yucky. People need their personal space and when someone invades it by being in too close proximity too much of the time, it is a turn-off. Learn to read girls' body language...if you're invited closer via signals, okay, but don't go where you're not invited. Sometimes a girl likes a guy, but is made uncomfortable by too much affection too fast. You may not mean anything by it, but she is getting a different message.
ms. X


2 2many

Dear msX ~
I like 3 guys, all like me back. I donít have 1 I like most. they r all so sweet! I donít want 2 hurt me of them by telling them I donít like them because I do. what should I do?

Dear 2-2 Many,
You are allowed to like more than one guy until you are engaged to be married.
ms. X


how can I get someone to love me?

Dear msX ~
Well I like this girl and were really good friends and all but If I told her It would ruin our relationship can you tell me how to get her to love me?"

Dear How Can I get Someone to Love Me?
I'm sorry, I can't. The formula depends on the chemistry between two people, the timing, and a zillion other things. There is no map to having a relationship. Just be yourself.
ms. X


ME AND THIS BOY

Dear msX ~
I HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM...I WENT OUT WITH THIS GUY IN NOVEMBER...AND WE HAVEN'T TALKED SINCE...IT WOULD BE OKAY...BUT I AM STIL STUCK ON HIM...AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO...WE HAVEN'T TALKED IN ALMOST 3 MONTHS...ALL OF MY FRIENDS KEEP SAYING JUST GO UP TO HIM AND START TO TALK TO HIM...BUT IT ISN'T THAT EASY. I AM TOO SHY TO SAY N E THING BECAUSE HE HAS MOVED ON WITH HIS LIFE AND GONE OUT WITH ANOTHER GIRL SONCE ME...BUT HE TELLS HIS SISTER THAT HE REALL LIKES ME. THAT IS WHAT IS CONFUSING ME THE MOST OUT OF EVERYTHING.
PLEASE HELP ME...CONFUSED

Dear Me and This Boy,
Either ask him or don't. But, being stuck in the same place for three months is silly. You won't know unless you ask him and hiding behind shyness ain't going to make anything happen.
ms. X


maybe a mom

Dear msX ~
I am 17 and been dating my boyfriend 4 months. I love him with all my heart. I am on the pill and never late, but I am already two days late could I be pregnant?
PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!

Dear Maybe a Mom,
I don't know the answer to that. You have to ask the Doc who prescribed your birth control pills. Sometimes they can make one's cycle go weird, but you won't know unless you ask.
ms. X


huh?

Dear msX ~
what exactly is a girl's clit?

Dear Huh?
It is a slang word for clitoris.
ms. X


9 months later

Dear msX ~
MY x who dumped me 9 months ago wants to see me again. Now I know it does sound that bad but 9 months ago he left me for this girl named jackie who was seven years older that him 27. People say age is nothing but a number but this really bothered me. not only was she older but she has 4 kids 2 with one guy & two with another and too make matters worst the two guys were brothers. two weeks after he left me he was living with her and paying half her bills. he told me that he no longer wanted to see me that he couldn't put up with me. I cried for about 5 months couldnít eat lost about 10 lbs. I thought I couldn't live anymore. now heís realized what kind of girl she was and wants me back. I was with him for 2 years so we have alot together I still have love for him but I know it will never be the same. my parents say if I do talk to him again he'll hurt me harder the second time. what advice can you give me.

Dear 9 Months Later,
Listen to your parents.
ms. X


Is he Interested?

Dear msX ~
Well, I have a class with this guy, and we got put next to each other in class. We started talking and I really started to like him. He flirts with me all the time, but is sending mixed signals. Sometimes he flirts with me the whole hour and other times he just sits and talk to other people or by himself. He gave me his phone number at the beginning of the year and I've tried calling him, but he doesn't answer the phone or call back. Now I'm not in his class anymore, but I want to be more than just friends. Is he interested in me? What should I do?"

Dear Is he Interested?
Some guys are just born flirts. If he gave you his number, though, it was a clue. Call him and ask him to do something with you. See how it goes from there.
ms. X


boy trouble

Dear msX ~
Hereís the deal my best friend and this guy went out for 5 months. Well in that 5 months this guy and I formed a bond (you know like a real close friend bond)we felt we could tell each other any thing. My best friend would always talk junk about me and this guy. Well, they broke up after 5 months and it tore him up bad and I was there for him to lean on. That day he asked for my number so we could talk, so I gave it to him. Well then we became real close and now were kissing, hugging, going on dates, and holding hands but were not exactly dating. I really like and love this guy but I don't know what to do. She's not really being a best friend right now cause sheís never there for me and she always talks about me behind my back. Just please give me some advice to help me figure what to do.

Dear Boy Trouble,
You said it, she's not really a good friend. So, your conscience intact, go forward and see where this relationship is headed.
ms. X


problem with a girl

Dear msX ~
I like this girl and she likes me too, but for some reason she doesnít seem to wanna go out, even though she talks about it a lot. I just want to know if there is something I can say to her, or some things I can do to make her lean towards dating"

Dear Problem with a Girl,
Have you considered that she might not be allowed to date yet?
ms. X


Men

Dear msX ~
I've been going out with this guy for a while now. I've been hearing some stuff about his ex-girlfriend and him. I heard that he said that he was giving me a chances and him and her will be together forever. His mom says those two are going to get married some day. I've asked him about it and he says he hates her so much. She calls him all the time and stops over at his house. What should I do? Should I break up with him or what? Please help me!!

Dear Men,
I'm not there, so I can't judge. You're going to have to trust your own instincts and listen to what they're telling you to do. Sounds like he had a lot of unfinished business there, but maybe he's being straight with you and the other parties are just not getting the message. Listen to your inner voice.
ms. X


What's wrong with me?

Dear msX ~
Ok, a week and a half ago I was looking through the personal picture ads here on my comp. When I came upon Mike. He is adorable looking.. and what he wanted in a girl seem to be me. Well for the next week in a half we talked online and on the phone. He is the sweetest guy and I can totally tell he would treat me very well. But last night I saw him in person. Im not exactly sure what my feelings were towards him then. I mean I still really like him alot but I think I set my standards to high. And then when I meet people they get crushed. Whatís wrong with me??? Thanks -
Becky"

Dear Becky,
Sounds like you are not ready to commit. Nothing wrong with that. When the right one comes along and you're ready, you will know. In the meantime, you don't owe anyone anything, so stop beating up on yourself.
ms. X


A new Life

Dear msX ~
HI. Well there's this guy I know that he likes me by the way that he touches my hand and he always stands by me which I just broke things off with my boyfriend and this other person knows this and I'm afraid that he might want to go out with me. I don't really like him, I only like him as a friend. What should I do? Tell him to back off or what? I really like this one friend of mine but he's interested in someone else but he treats me like I am his little sister but how can I tell him that I like him plus he's been driving me home more then anyone. He's really nice to me. I'm also not really feeling well in the last couple of weeks and I did take a home pregnancy test but it turned out negative but I was hoping that I was pregnant. I think I might be ready to be a mother. I'm 29 years old. I just need to find the right person.
Jealous of the other woman.

Dear A New Life,
You are certainly old enough to be a mother, but why would you want to do it unless you're in a committed relationship with someone you are crazy about? Get all your issues about who straightened out before you start making babies with people who are just passing through. It's not as easy as it looks and it's a twenty plus year commitment you make to that kid.
ms. X


boys

Dear msX ~
There is a boy whom I've been with off and on. I decided for us to be friends, because I'm hearing that he likes someone else. What shall I do?"

Dear Boys,
Continue to be his friend while he plays this one out. At your age, relationships move quickly to the finish line. But, friendships don't.
ms. X


Confused

Dear msX ~
Hello my names is Jessica and it's my first time hearing about anything that actually involved teens talking about their problems. I located this site because there are two things that have been on my mind: I'm 14 years old and I have a very sweet and caring. We have just recently started become sexually active with each other, I've been raised to tell my mom everything so she's like my best friend. The problem is, it's easier said then done to talk to her about this but it's killing me inside. How should I approach her, or should I even tell her at all?

My second problem is that I don't live with my mom I live with my grandparents because me and my step-dad don't get along, sometimes I feel that I can't take it here anymore; actually most of the time; I felt so happy where we used to live, and my grandma said it wouldn't make difference if we moved back or not, but I think it would help my depression drastically, would it? And how could I tell her this? Thank you for at least listening and taking time to read this.
Sincerly Confused

Dear Confused Jessica,
Honey, I think that being sexually-active is no solution and it's a just a matter of time before it becomes a problem. You should be talking to a counselor, if you can't talk to your mom. Opening up to someone will alleviate some of the pressure you're feeling and give you some direction. The boyfriend is not solving anything when you have family issues to work out first.
ms. X


love

Dear msX ~
I have asked all my friends for advice about my question but they all don't know what to do. I like this guy, we've know each other for ever he dated my sister once so we have had some interesting conversations. We have a lot in common and I think we would be really good for each other. He acts like he likes me he flirts with me constantly and has told other friends that he is attracted to me. But he just broke up with this girl annie. He still kinda likes her but she likes someone else. He told heís friend also that he is definitely interested in me? I don't know what to do. Should I go for it or just wait? Please help

Dear Love,
Patience...nothing wonderful was ever rushed into existence. Let the momentum build and see where you guys are headed. Pushing could lead nowhere.
ms. X


an icky problem

Dear msX ~
I have a cousin named Lucas. he is about my age, 14. Iím 13. I see him every summer and Christmas time. because we live on opposite sides of the country. he and I were never very close, until recently when I saw him a few weeks ago and we became pretty good friends. I know it sounds icky, but I think I kinda had feelings for him and I think he might have too although we never said anything about it. today I talked to his friend, Ann, and she told me this stuff he said about me. he said that I was a bitch. I asked him about it and he said that he said that, but it was last summer, and he only said it cause he was going through a rough time because his girlfriend had just broken up with him, and he was so sorry. I know heís telling the truth, but I still feel so hurt by it. he said so many other sweet and nice things to me, but I cant seem to forget this. I guess its true what they say, no matter how many compliments u receive, u only seem to remember the insults. what should I do?

Dear An Icky Problem,
Get over it. You can choose to dwell on it and make yourself unhappy or you can elect to believe Lucas when he says that's not how he feels now. Which choice makes you feel good? A no brainer.
ms. X


not acting my age

Dear msX ~
Hi I am 14 and in my 1st year in high school. the problem is I don't think I'm acting my age cause I still play w/ little kid things, like Barbies, and that new Pokemon stuff. It seems like its cool to me. and I 1st of all I want to know why I am still doing this? I want to know how it can stop? Please help. and thanks for the advice."

Dear Not Acting My Age,
There will come a time, any minute in fact, when you lose interest in your dolls. Don't worry. And, don't be in such a rush, you only have a little bit more time to be a kid. Enjoy it while you can. And, know that there are many grown-up women in this world who still play with Barbies....they are known as "collectors."
ms. X


Cuban guy problems

Dear msX ~
I'm 14 going on 15. Thereís this guy his name is David. I know I'm an attractive girl. I know because guys check me out all the time. My problem is I like him(he knows) and I know that he might have some sort of feelings for me because of the way he acts and talks to me. He is the type of person who can get shy and timid, yet try to show he's all macho. We have been flirting and talking since October. I haven't seen him outside of school. I talk to him on the phone though. About 2 weeks ago I took all my friends advice and asked him out. His words were " you shouldn't waste your time on me" so I hung up on him. I want to know how can I get him not to be timid and ask me out, if he is interested(I think he is) from Rissa "

Dear Cuban Guy Problems,
Sounds like he has his own problems now, separate from anything to do with you. You can show him you are constant in your affection for him and take it slow.
ms. X


 

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