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THIS MONTHS DILEMMAS ~ J A N U A R Y '00 ~ page 7

 

Help, Iím losing it!

Dear msX ~
About a year ago, there was this totally nice guy I met while taking a college summer course. I didn't know much about computers or the stock market and he helped me with all of my problems. Over that time, we began to get closer, but he never even asked for my number. The last week was just great. He and I were closer than a couple. Afterwards, we exchanged numbers but never stayed in touch. I think about him all the time. I just donít know what happened. What can I do to stop from thinking about him> even a year later. HOPELESS LOVE IN N.O

Dear Help,
I'm losing it, You have nothing to lose except for your obsession with him by calling him. Just do it and get it over with. Tell him something just reminded you of him and you were wondering how he's been. If he comes off disinterested or jerky, you will know to beat a hasty retreat. But, if he's flattered and happy you found him again, then you can move forward in his direction. Do it!
ms. X


depressed or not???

Dear msX ~
okay well its not the usual Sarah broke me and Johnnie up situation. I just feel so depressed I mean I guess its depressed I feel like Iím not good enough or like Iím always doing something wrong? I mean I donít find myself ugly nor am I a beauty queen but the simplest things about my body get me down like my arms I think they are to hairy I know that sounds stupid but its the truth. My friend "Jane" is like miss popular and all the girls want 2 be her and all they guys want to be with her I jus feel like next to her Iím just a shadow I know its not her fault and Iím not going to lose a friendship over that sheís been my best friend since we were born! I just want 2 know if this is considered depression or if Iím just going through a phase? if you think its depression than Iím gonna get help but if you donít think it is then its all cool and ill get over it!!! BTW Iím 16/F !
THANX bunches, confused maybe???

Dear Depressed or Not?
I think that if there's even the slightest possibility that you may be experiencing depression, it couldn't hurt to seek help. Therapy is a gift one gives to themselves. It wouldn't hurt a bit for you to see a professional, even if what you're experiencing is just a passing phase. Check it out.
ms. X


I donít know who to choose

Dear msX ~
I am in trouble I donít know who to go out with this girl Iíve know and have fun with since the 5th grade(Iím now in the 8th grade)or this girl I have lots of fun with and meet last year I like them both donít know who to chose"

Dear I don't know who to choose,
You shouldn't have to sign a contract in eighth grade. Monogamy is for the much older folks. Who says you have to choose?
ms. X


The girl of my dreams

Dear msX ~
There is this girl who I met in the summer before my sophomore year in H.S. I liked her since the day I saw her but we have only talked once in a while since then. It is in the middle of my Junior year and my feelings have only grown stronger for her, and she has only become more gorgeous. There is a turnabout dance coming up and I want to go with her but it seems she is only asking older guys now. What should I do to try to get her attention. Please help.

Dear The Girl of My Dreams,
You have nothing to lose by asking her. But, first you have to speak to her. And, let things warm up a bit, scope out the situation. If she's interested in you, there will be signals, and you can then make your move.
ms. X


wanted

Dear msX ~
My problem is that I like some one at my school and I want to know if he likes me. What can I do to find out?

Dear Wanted,
Other than ask him, I don't know what you can do. You know how I feel about involving the rest of the school in stuff like this. You're on your own.
ms. X


MY BEST FRIEND

Dear msX ~
Well here's the story my best friend lives in Sarnia which is 8 hours away from me and I keep in touch with her through the phone and writing her letters. There's one problem though, my dad and brother don't really like her and her daughter and never have and that hurts my feelings. I'm having a hard time right now with my dad because he has a bad temper and I'm afraid that one day he might hit me but I try not to get him mad or angry. MY mom died about three years ago and we never discuss her anymore. I thought about moving out but I have a problem no job or money. I have another friend who seems to want nothing to do with me but she always said that I could tell her anything about my life but when I do tell her she's like not interested in what I have to say. Now my friend Monica who lives in Sarnia is coming down here to see me in July and we are going to do stuff together but should I tell my dad and brother that she is coming down they will just say WHY???
Lost

Dear My Best Friend,
Sounds like you have a lot of stuff going on. July is a long way away. Work out some of your home life stuff meanwhile and things may fall into place. Find yourself a job so you can start to realize some of your dreams.
ms. X


he loves me, he loves me not.....

Dear msX ~
I have a problem and I need an answer before I get anymore depressed about it. So here goes: Well I'm a freshman in high school, and most of my friends are sophomores, including my brother ( who is a star baseball player and very popular) so I have had a lot of opportunities to meet new people. Well when I was in 8th grade, a couple of the guys on my brother's baseball team thought I was pretty, and said they were excited for me to come to high school. So when I got to high school, there was one who is a Jr. that ended up pursuing me. Well I started to really like him, and as time progressed, he started to act distant. Then my best friend, (sophomore) got all over him at a party, and acted like she liked him. She is very pretty, and he started to like her. I was crushed, the guy I liked so much was gone, and so was my long earned friend ship. Well, I got over it, and thought I was over him. And the other day I heard he likes me again. But the problem is, My whole family doesn't like him because he hurt me, and I'm afraid of getting hurt. But all my strong feelings are back again. So my question is should I risk all these things and go for it, or should I let it go?? Please help me it may sound small, but it is hurting me and I need help.
thanx for your time.

Dear He loves me, he loves me not,
If you don't try, you'll always wonder. Explain that to your family and ask that they back off so you can find out for yourself.
Good luck,
ms. X


SISTERS OR STRANGERS?

Dear msX ~
I AM A TWIN AND I'M 15 MINUTES OLDER BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS MY TWIN SISTER IS SO FAR FROM ME. WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER WE USED TO BE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. NOW WE'RE 16 AND ARE VERY FAR FROM EACH OTHER. AT SCHOOL SHE'S POPULAR, PRETTY, LOUD, FRIENDLY, FUNNY AND OUT OPEN TO PEOPLE. AND ME, WELL, I'M SHY, QUIET, AND AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO KEEPS TO THEMSELVES. SHE IS ALWAYS WITH FRIENDS AND WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER THAT MUCH ANYMORE. WHEN I TELL PEOPLE THAT WE'RE TWINS, THEY DON'T BELIEVE. SHE'S DYED HER HAIR AND WEARS MORE MAKE-UP THAN I DO AND IT MAKES US LOOK DIFFERENT. AT SCHOOL WHEN I TRY TO TALK TO HER SHE NEVER HAS TIME TO ANSWER ME. ONE TIME I CALLED HER FROM MY FRIEND'S HOUSE AND LEFT HER A MESSAGE TO GET BACK TO ME. I HAD TO THAT FAR TO TALK TO MY SISTER. NOW THAT'S BAD. HOW SHOULD I GET HER ATTENTION BACK ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS?
ONLY CHILD

Dear Sisters or Strangers,
My bet is that your sister is separating from you right now in an effort to secure her own identity. It is not just a twin thing. Teens need to find out who they are and often try on a few different personas until they find one they like. Since you and your sister have always acted as a single unit, she might need to get some space from you until she decides who she is independent of you. Once this phase of your life is behind you, I am sure you will regain the closeness that you were meant to share. So, while you're waiting, why don't you find your own path as well?
ms. X


Patience

Dear msX ~
I dated this guy for awhile, we were both very obviously in love, then he decided that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. So I respect that, and now i'm giving him some space. I really love this guy, and I just don't want to lose him for good. Will he come back to me, or do I try to get back to him?
Missing him"

Dear Patience,
I think that your giving him his own space will make him think of you in a favorable way. But, so he doesn't forget about you entirely, I'd keep the lines of communication open. But, casual contact, no pressure, no kvetch, always with a smile. Let him see what an upbeat smart woman you are, but allow him to make any first moves toward recreating your romance.
Good luck,
ms. X


Boy trouble

Dear msX ~
My boyfriend has been lying to me about his age as well as other things. My friends are telling me to dump him, but I just can't. I would want to wait until after valentine's Day because I don't like not getting a card then, but if I do that, then I will be very cautious around him, and I don't like being like that either. Also he lives overseas, which I don't mind, but it does make things harder.

Dear Boy Trouble,
Long distance can create many lies, yours as well. You don't have to break up with him until you see him in person. Let that be your revenge. A card should not keep you committed to a lowlife, though.
ms. X


Should I let Him Go?

Dear msX ~
I have been going out with my boyfriend for about 2 years. We have no school classes together and we never talk. My friends say that he has changed, he is mean and makes really rude jokes about almost everything. I'm not sure if I should trust my friends and dump him or confront him and say that we need to talk more. I don't want to break up with him because I think I still like him, but right now that seems like the best thing to do. What do you think I should do?

Dear Should I Let Him Go?
Meanness should never be tolerated. Dump him and give yourself a kick in the butt for not knowing the answer to your own question. Meanness is a no-no under any circumstances..
ms. X


my boyfriend always breaks promises to me

Dear msX ~
My boyfriend of 8 month's tells me that he love's being with me but every time we plan to do something together he breaks plans to do something with his cousin. Why does he do that?"

Dear My Boyfriend always breaks promises to me,
Maybe you extract these promises and he really is not in a position to keep them. Loving someone does not mean that you have to breathe the same air as them all the time. Give him the freedom to see his cousin and more and he will not feel like he's tied to you against his will.
Loosen up.
ms. X


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