Amy's Take

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January 9, 1999

Sweet Sixteen

As many of you know, I turned sixteen on January 6th- a birthday I have always looked forward to with great enthusiasm. I mean, when you're thirteen or fourteen it's like WOW!- I'll be able to DRIVE! And that's how I was for such a long time. Like everything else, I idealized my sixteenth birthday to be nothing short of Woodstock 3 mixed with a little bit of Armageddon and a lot of Malibu Beach Party ( never mind that I live in Ohio where we're getting a ton of snow, or that it's January).

A year ago at this time I remember thinking "'s a year away! I need to start planning! I want this to be the biggest party of the decade!" I remember telling everyone a year in advance about the plans I was making..I expanded my "party" into a "vacation" and so forth. That's the kind of girl I am...or was.

I never thought that I'd be pregnant before I had my driver's license. Or before I turned Sweet Sixteen. This year was more of a bittersweet sixteen, if I want to put it in a simple kind of cliche. Not that it was awful...or anything like that- but it was subdued. It's not exactly like I could be like "Let's invite the entire school!" because I've lost a lot of my good friends in the last months. I don't think some of them realized how much their careless comments hurt me. I also think some of them didn't care.

My birthday was awakened to as the first day of school we had all week since X-mas break- there had been two snow days. It was horrible weather, and getting my sister Karly to drive me was nothing short of pure hell. Normally, I don't mind school- but everyone seemed to be looking at me- and I guess for good reason. Itís not every day I guess you see a five month pregnant just turned sixteen year old. No one wished me a happy birthday, and when I got home my mom wasn't even home yet.

My boyfriend came over around six, unfortunately at the same time my brother Eric was. My family isn't BAD to Matt ( my bf) but they're not exactly toasty warm either. But all things aside it was great to see Matt. He brought me a necklace- one of the only times he's gotten me something that didn't come from Rite Aid or the back of one of those pyscho magazines that advertise tarot cards and "magical" shampoo. It was a locket, which is something I would usually never wear, but this was so special to me. He said he wanted to let me know how much he cared about me, which was a nice reassurance, since I've been feeling a little like a burden lately.

I consulted my support counselor Angie on this a week earlier. She said that I could feel the same way about him- but that guys don't get pregnant! In other words...I don't reproduce asexually, or for the biologically impaired, by MYSELF. Or in common terms, it takes two to...umm..tango. She told me to tell him how I felt, and that yes, this was a big responsibility for both of us. I won't bore you anymore with teen pregnancy counseling session minutes...but this was a great help. So I'm sixteen now. I may not have had the biggest birthday bash, and it may not have even been a great day. But all of you here at the Coffeerooms were so great!! I got so many birthday wishes it was incredible. So thank you to anyone who took the time and/or remembered! :) AS I said, it may not have been the perfect 16th birthday, but for once, I do feel a lot older than the year before.

Comments always welcome. E-mail me or I'll see ya on the boards!!!...

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