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Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned

*No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
*When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
*If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
*Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
*You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
*Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
*Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
*Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac.
*Never hold a DustBuster and a cat at the same time.
*School lunches stick to the wall.
*You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
*Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
*The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
*It's hard to unlearn a bad word.
*Ask Why until you understand.
*It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.
*A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.
*It's only fun to play school when you're the teacher.
*Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines.
*Twelve is a lot older than eight.
* Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.
*Some nights it's not worth fighting over who gets the top bunk.
*Don't expect your friends to be as excited about your "100" as you are.
*Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.
*If you don't like the birthday girl, don't go to the party.
*Crawling still gets you there.
*If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
*Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.
*You can't start over just because you're losing the game.
*When you're dressed up like a princess, it's easier to act like one.
*If a tree had apples last year, don't expect pears this year.
*One drop of black paint from the brush clouds the whole cup of water.
*You can't be everyone's best friend.
*A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.
*All libraries smell the same.
*Say grace.
*If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.
*Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.
*Silence can be an answer.
*Ask where things come from.
*If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.
*Don't nod on the phone.

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