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Happily Ever After
by
Amber N Medina


When we are young, it is almost every girl's dream to meet a man and fall madly in love, just like they do in the storybooks, you know the knight in shining armor shtick we are all too familiar with. As we grow older we realize that there is very rarely a "storybook" romance. What seems to be too good to be true, oftentimes, is exactly that. Yet despite being so well informed and wise as we get older it seems that some of us still seem to reach for that ideal.

In my past attempts to find love I have tried ignoring the clichés, the misdirected hopes, and have instead tried being sensible. It was simple, find someone who is responsible, knows what they are doing with their life, and cares about me. But somehow that has never been enough. How could such pervasive desires not be sufficient? What was the problem? After much agonizing over why I could never seem to be satisfied with a relationship that looked so good on paper, I discovered what my trouble was. And it was all in a simple phone call.

I had been having a rough week, stressed out about a million different things (that would be five more than a usual week) and feeling all around pretty miserable. As I checked my messages, slumped in my office chair, eyes closed with my hands over my face, the messages rolled over to a familiar voice. I slowly sat up and leaned forward in my chair, and began to smile a crooked smile. I brushed my hair away from my face, in a flirtatious manner, as if there was someone in the room with me. As if all of this wasn't odd enough, I felt this warm wave come over me, like I was embarrassed and excited at the same time. But it was more than that...nothing had ever made me feel quite like that before - I can barely explain it. The message in itself was not so special - just a silly hello out of the blue from a long-time friend. Inexplicably his boyish message made me feel like nothing ever had. Roses and romantic gifts from guys who seemed more than "qualified" to fill that position of my dream man had made me feel special, but never like that. But this was not my dream man. Or at least I didn't think he was. From that point on, I noticed that he made me feel like no one else ever could. All that goopy, mushy, nonsensical stuff - that same storybook love from our childhood dreams.

I had my taste of it - THAT is why all those sensible romances won't work for me. I have had a glimpse of what it is like to live in that fantasy - how could I settle for anything but?

Unfortunately, my trip into fantasia has only complicated things. Having experienced this feeling has made it impossible for me to imagine having anything less, but at the same time the one man who has succeeded in making me feel this way is one I can't have. He is one of those friends who I can talk to about almost anything. There are no false pretenses with him - I can be my truest self (even when the truest me isn't the best me). He is one of the very few people that I have known half my life that hasn't drifted out of it for one reason or another. He has remained my friend when it seemed that no one else would. I have no doubt that he is Prince Charming. But how foolish would I be to give up so much, on the off chance that he might be my Prince Charming? Therefore I am at an impasse - I am now so engrossed in this fairy tale...but I am too afraid to read the ending.

The End (?)

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