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I spend way too much time at the theaters.
I'm a slave to the Hollywood Visionaries.  God help me.

THE LOVE LETTER

Directed by Peter Ho-Sun Chan
Screenplay by Maria Maggenti
Starring Kate Capshaw and Tom Selleck
Based on the Cathleen Schine novel
My advice: Once big-named stars do not a movie make
Rating: out of


Let's take a moment to visit Loblolly by the Sea. Loblolly. What a delightful little name. Shame it was such an undelightful little movie.

Helen (Capshaw) is a divorced book shop owner who, while opening the mail one day, stumbles across a poetic and romantic letter. Although it's not directly addressed, she automatically assumes it is for her and sets about fantasizing away her every waking moment - in dreamlike sequencing - in a vain attempt to decipher who the author is. Interesting note, her first pick is her book shop manager, Janet, (DeGeneres) who apparently spends most of her time whoring around the town. How's that for not typecasting?

The trailers for this movie looked so promising that I was quickly wallowing in disappointment. From the first commercial viewing, I was sure it was a wonderfully crafted comedy. Not so. After realizing it fell short of the comedic mark thirty minutes in, my next guess was a romantic little love story. Again, not so. It lumbered off in so many oddly twisted directions I took me quite awhile to figure out that was actually a rather sad and depressing little story. Shame on them for misleading me so. I hate that.

The letter, unrealistically, manages to travel from place to place in rather quick fashion and, as a result, the following things happen:

Helen's collegiate bookshop employee, Johnny (Everett Scott) stumbles across it and he believes she wrote it for him. He quotes stanzas of the letter to Helen and she immediately assumes he wrote it for her. Helen and Johnny bump nasties. Janet "mysteriously" finds the letter and assumes the local fireman, George (Selleck) wrote it for her. Helen tells Janet it wasn't for her. Janet promptly quits her job. Johnny and Helen bump nasties some more. George professes his love for Helen. Yada, yada, yada.

Through the course of this movie this letter manages to find it's way into just abut everybody's hands and, once the writer is revealed, you'll wish that letter had kept on moving.

In short, I didn't "Love" this "Letter".

 

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