April 10, 2000
Yup. On Wednesday I'm going to turn 35. I'm feeling mighty old.
What really concerns me is that I can't even acurately recall my age anymore without thinking about it. I have
to take the current year, subtract the year I was born, and figure it out from there.
Here's how I expect it'll go.
I imagine the day will be met with much pomp and circumstance.
Why, I should be receiving acknowledgments from all around the world.
"Happy Birthday! You're still looking good! Hey, what are
you doing Tuesday?" Bill Clinton
"I was a fool to let you go! Leave your husband and marry
me!" Antonio Bandares
"No one appreciates you. I know how it feels. Let's do
lunch." Mother Theresa.
"The only difference between you and me is that I have
a nicer house." Little Old Lady Who Lives in a Shoe.
I really do not care for birthdays any longer. I have no idea
I want but I am usually pretty satisfied with what I don't get.
"Hey, honey. What do you want for your birthday?"
"I can tell you what I don't want. I do not want a large
screen T.V. for the family room."
"I don't want a Porsche either."
"No it isn't. I am positive that you won't get me what
I don't want. This way I am not setting myself up for guaranteed disappointment."
"As if I could afford those things anyway. We're too poor."
"Aren't you paying attention? I said I don't want them. Are you really that dense. Hey, please don't get smarter
for my birthday either, okay?"
"You know, on second thought, if we cut out some of the
unnecessary things, we could swing that television."
"Unnecessary? What do you want me to cut first? The power
or the heat? You really don't have a clue, do you?"
"A year older and a year crankier. You are the queen."
"Yes, I know. Now leave me to nap. That, I think, we can
See you all Tuesday;