March 20th, 2000
The Zoo Crew
My car broke down last week. I took it to the shop and the verdict
was it needed a new liver, a kidney, and an oil change. Hardly something I could afford at $1,000 and, since Ebay
took all of it's "human donations" off of auction, I couldn't even turn there.
So, I went to pick her up.
"What's wrong with her?" I asked the mechanic.
He spit a load of sunflower seed shells on the floor and said,
"You've got spun bearings."
Ah, the notorious spun bearing.
"Well, I have to drive it tomorrow and get it to a dealership on Saturday. Can it hold me that long?"
With a solemn nod he states,
"Ayup. But don't be doing no hotrodding with her."
I looked at him and put on my most convincing crestfallen face.
"Well, damn! That's just what I was hoping to do! Slap all four of my kids into the Cheeto-mobile, find another
frustrated mom in a station wagon at a stoplight, and burning some serious rubber."
Idiots. The lot of them.
So, we did it. We hopped into the Chariot of Death, with the spun bearings, and coasted on fumes to the automobile
We had quite expected, for trade in, they may offer us a cup of coffee and a donut...but that they'd want at least
half a donut back.
As we sat in the office, the nice saleslady asked "What is the color of the interior of that car you're trading
She actually had a sense of humor when I answered, "Cheeto."
She wasn't laughing when she saw the car.
She also asked if it was safe for her to drive to the appraisal lot. I smiled real big and said, "Sure! No
problem! Hey.. um.. you're a religious kinda person, right? You pray every day?"
Anyway, I got the trade in, they paid the remainder of my current loan and I am now the proud owner of a Gold 1998
Ford Windstar sans Cheetos.
Of course, upon entering the dealership, we did bring along a secret weapon that virtually guaranteed our success.
I'm brought along.... The
See you tomorrow!