March 2nd, 2000
The Joshua Project
Does anyone else out there have a spouse that works nights?
That's what I had for five years. Five years of my life living the evening on my own, set, preordained schedule.
I ate when I wanted, did what I wanted, went to bed when I wanted. Everything was just "so."
And then he went to days.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love my man with all my heart, but after five years of being away during the evening
and enjoying our smaller spawnlings on a weekend only basis, these days at home have been a living hell for him.
I've seen his face turn as red as a sun ripened tomato and swore that, at any given moment, he was ready to spout
smoke from his ears like a cartoon tea kettle. It's just too much for him. My kids are kids you need to "grow
in to." They must be taken in small measures, followed with a dose of Prozac or tequila, and them immediately
followed up with a hibernating nap.
Poor fellow. I'm not sure if he's going to miss us or if we're going to miss him. All I know is that I'll be ruling
the roost once more! Yahoo!
So, that new webpage that I created came with a global positioning system. 900 search engines at my disposal and
the web folks would submit my site for me. Almost too good to be true. Well, it was. I have been submitted and
am now at the mercy of The Spam Email Gods. I have more crap in my mailbox than I know what to do with. In fact,
if I were to print it all out and begin a career in origami, I could fashion the entire regiment of Waterloo.
Wrote another column the other night. This was intended to be another humorous little "Clueless in the Kitchen"
column but then somehow spiraled down into the dark, bottomless depths of the macabre. I can't be held responsible
for this. I can't and I won't.
It's called The
Joshua Project, and you can read it here.
See you Thursday!