November 23-27

Salem, November 29,1998 Nancy Wesley sought to be a juror on Sami's trial so that she could keep Carrie's family involved in a scandal. She should know by now that the Bradys don't need anyone's help to keep themselves entangled in turpitude, as it's what they do best.

Mike, after seeking advice from Alice decided to disregard Ali's excellent bedside manner and appoint to head nurse someone who actually has experience. He told Ali first and she took it rather well if you don't take into account her instant Glenn Close transformation. I was expecting her to say, "I will not be ignored", but she stopped short of that. Carrie, who was lurking about, as it has become a habit for her, tried to comfort her but Ali explained that she has never been the one with the brains in the family and she was hoping to impress her parents with her promotion. She finally calmed down and told Carrie that what's important is that she still has Mike. This made Carrie think that maybe there is more to Ali and Mike's relationship than he has let on so she went to talk to him. Needless to say Ali walked in on what looked like a delicate moment, although to get out of it all Carrie had to do is explain to Ali that Mike is a bit of a close talker, but that nothing inappropriate was going on.

Roman tracked down Roberto and tried his Bad Cop routine on him to see if he could link him to Kate but Roberto held his ground. Later, Roman asked Kate to dinner hoping to be able to get some information from her. Is he kidding? If he wasn't able to make feeble-minded Roberto talk, does he really think he stands a chance with Kate? She'll chew him up and sashay her way out of the room like she always does.

John and Celeste continued their snooping around the townhouse and found Jonesey's bank deposit book. John then called Abe and told him to run a check on Jonesey to see how he acquired all his wealth. I wasn't aware that you could use the police department's resources to investigate private cases but what the hell, it gives Abe something to do these days other than grow his beard in an intricate design.

Disaster struck for Vivian this week when she told Stefano she would not marry him unless he turned over his shares of Titan to her so that she could oust Kate. Stefano, of course, used the mood-altering device on her and she barged into a board meeting and provoked a small brawl. Later, she begged him to marry her immediately and he accepted.

Bo and Hope got closer and he asked her to go steady. No mention was made of the fact that he is still married to Billie but I figure he has a quickie divorce in mind. Maybe they can all go down to Santa Rosa again and Bo can agonize over the decision to either be with his old Fancy Face or stay with the new Psycho Billie. We'll have to wait and see.

Nicole had her tattoo removed to prove to Eric that she is through with Jay and her old way of life. She got encouragement from Sami and she even called her a friend. The idea of Nicole and Sami being friends is as comforting as the thought that Clinton might be removed from office and Al Gore will become president. I think we will all be hitting the Nytol pretty hard tonight.

Sami and Austin took Will home and they had a birthday party for him. The little tyke was upset because his daddy won't attend. It's amazing how Will now accepts Lucas as his father when he was still calling Austin daddy after the accident.

Other tidbits:

  • John asked Abe to put out an APB on Marlena who hasn't been seen in days.
  • Billie's absence from the show was explained as a medical leave. She's in rehab being deprogrammed so that she can stop blaming Hope for everything that goes wrong in the world.
  • Lucas decided to disassemble his crutches so that he can use them to make stilts to look tall enough for Nicole. Kate immediately hired the stilt makers who tour with the Ringling Brothers circus to help him.

Thatís all for this week.


November 16-20

Salem, November 22,1998 Stefano, who paraded around all week with a blazer he must have borrowed from Thurston Howell III, asked Vivian to marry him in an attempt to take control of her assets. She accepted after he draped the Emerald Eye necklace around her neck. She may be loony but she knows good jewelry when she sees it.

Billie tried to get Kate to open up about her past and tell her how she made it to the top. Kate told her she worked at menial jobs. I guess prostitution could be considered a menial job since they don't have a union. Later, Kate overheard Billie talking to Roman who was at the Blue Note and she went over and put on an act of innocence that would have made Merryl Streep proud. They tried to con each other but nothing was resolved and Roman vowed to continue to dig into Kate's past especially now that Vivian revealed to him that Kate has a secret and Sami knows what it is.

Bo and Hope went with John and Marlena to the Penthouse Grill and tried to put their problems aside for the night but Hope started hearing that waltz again. That might have had something to do with the fact that Dr. Rolf was working on her memory CD and was waiting for the satellite to be properly aligned. Like I've said before, please don't ask me to explain this rubbish, as I'm sure the writers themselves don't know where they are going with this storyline. Marlena continued to try to dissuade John from uncovering his past but it was like telling Ken Starr to give Bill Clinton a break.

Lexie and Abe also made their way to the Penthouse Grill to celebrate her appointment to surgical resident. If it seems like it has only been a couple of years since she started medical school that's because it was.

Mike told Ali that they should put their relationship on ice until after he has appointed the new head nurse. Ali took that to mean that she was a shoe-in and Carrie overheard her telling one of the nurses that the job was hers. Carrie confronted her and they each put their cards on the table. It's pretty clear that there is more love between Netanyahu and Arafat than those two. Later when Rose gave Mike her list of finalists for the job, Ali's name was on it. The worst thing about this situation is that Ali has allied herself to Craig so now the scheming and treachery will swing into full gear and Carrie and Mike will be in as much in control as women are in control of those quirky European fashions.

Austin and Carrie, whose marriage at this time seems as fragile as the Republicans' hold on Congress, argued again about Sami and Lucas. Both sides stated their theories very clearly: Carrie thinks Sami is a liar and Lucas deserves another chance, while Austin thinks Lucas is an idiot and Sami deserves another chance. When you think about it, there is truth on both sides. Austin made tremendous headway in his Learning to Think plan this week and he told Carrie that he knows Mike has feelings for her. If he had made it to the Cheatin' Heart last week he would have seen that those feelings are so strong that the Pentagon is thinking of renaming the Patriot Missiles the Carrie and Mike Make Out Missiles.

Lucas tried to impress Nicole with his Richie Rich routine and belittled Eric's part in her rise to stardom and Nicole astutely agreed with him as he is the new head of the "New Faces" campaign. Taylor, who has been hired by the CIA to train new recruits on the finer points of eavesdropping, heard the whole thing and was appalled at her sister's way with manipulation.

Jury selection for Sami's trial began and the prosecutor in his opening statement to them said that since this is a capital case they must be capable of handing down a verdict that includes execution. Nancy Craig, who is one of the prospective jurors, is so anxious to get back to her hospital high-jinks that I'm sure she wouldn't mind pulling the switch if it comes to that.

Other tidbits:

  • Eric tied Billie this week for the Medal of Tediousness with their respective lines, "Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship" and "Hope is the reason I lost my baby."
  • DAYS started hiring people to take part in the Salem Gossipers Club. These are the people we always see at University Hospital and Salem Place making snide remarks about the main characters on the show.
  • Greta's voice, which becomes immensely shaky every time she becomes upset, will be used as Granny's on the upcoming Loony Tunes release, "Yosemite Sam takes a Bride."

Thatís all for this week.

November 9-13

Salem, November 15,1998 Billieís deception was revealed and she sought forgiveness from Roman. He was very angry at first but the idea of not ever seeing her naked again won over such unimportant things like integrity and honesty, so he forgave her but insisted that she go and apologize to Bo. This turned out to be as good an idea as the one Saddam Hussein had when he thought he could take on the United States. Bo was unyielding and basically told her to take her sad story to someone who was willing to listen to such bunk. While she was there it was discovered that Greta had fled, so Bo and Hope accompanied John and Marlena to go and look for her. They found her at Green Mountain with Stefano who had found her and was trying to get her to trust him. Greta had just fallen off a cliff and Stefano had saved her. The Fabulous Foursome heard Stefano and Greta talking and it seemed obvious that they knew each other better than she had let on. They impeded Stefano from taking her and decided that by staying close to her, John and Hope can find the answers they desperately seek. I think they have a better chance of interpreting the Dead Sea Scrolls but maybe Iím being too pessimistic.

Mike and Carrie arranged for Lucas to spend some time with Will and Austin walked in on the touching reunion. He was furious with Carrie and told her she had betrayed him. Mike tried to defend Carrieís motives but Austin told him to mind his own business. Later, Mike went to speak with Austin at the gym and they got into a heated argument in which he told Austin he was being paranoid. Austin, after looking up the word in his pocket dictionary, told him he wouldnít feel that way if Carrie would take his side. It was a little scary to see that the dumbbells at the gym seemed to grasp the concept that Sami is probably snowing him better than Austin did.

Lucas was released from the hospital and when he and Kate arrived home they found Roman conducting an experiment to see if Kate could have heard the gunshot that killed Franco. Of course "BozoCop" forgot to get a search warrant so Kate threw him out but not before he realized that she did indeed hear the shot and is lying about it. Lucas was quite shaken by the whole ordeal and seemed ready to confess to everything from shooting Franco to conspiring to bring knee-length skirts back. Kate was able to control the situation for now.

Stefano told Rolf that he needs to turn Hope back into Princess Gina as soon as possible but the good doctor told him the satellite isnít in place yet. John Glenn must have forgotten to take care of that on his mission. They do however have the CDís that contain all of John and Hopeís memories. Please donít ask me how all of this is supposed to make any sense. I just report the news; I donít make it. Stefano also told Rolf he is poised to extract his revenge on the Bradys. This guy has more plans going on at the same time than a shady contractor.

Eric still had reservations about Nicoleís forthrightness but was swept away by her act of innocence. In the meantime Taylor, who divulged to Lucas that Nicole is her sister, decided to accept Kateís job offer as Lucasí physical therapist.

Other tidbits:

  • Greta was awarded the Ross Perot Award for Wishy-Washiness for she has changed her mind about Stefano and going back to the bayou as many times as Ross changed his mind about running for president in the 1992 presidential election.
  • Billie was attacked by members of the Citizens Against Repetitious Dialogue Association. Later the militant group held a press conference and said they were justified in their attack because of Billieís incessant use of the line, "Hope is to blame for my babyís death."
  • Marlena was accosted by Lucifer at Salem Place who wanted to know where she had purchased the lovely red trench coat she was wearing. When she asked what he was doing in Salem, he explained he was there to chastise Roman for his constant use of the word hell.
  • The National Rifle Association commended Roman for conducting an experiment which involved firing a gun dangerously near civilians. They said he proved that even an idiot can use a gun without injuring innocent bystanders.

That's all for this week.


November 2-6

Salem, November 8,1998 Billie made a deal with Wayne and Earl that she would tell them where Greta was in exchange for them helping her bury Georgia. Everything was going along fairly smoothly until the boys broke into Aliceís house to take Greta. Hope, Greta and Alice transformed into Charlieís Angels and kicked some Hillbilly butt. Later, Hope figured out that it must have been Billie who tipped them off so she went gunning for her. She overheard Billie talking to Wayne and Earl and she realized the real circumstances of Georgiaís death. She confronted Billie and she tried to cover it up by blaming Hope for everything from Georgiaís death to Newt Gingrichís resignation as Speaker of the House. Things got pretty heated and Hope smacked Billie. I was amazed that she was able to keep it down to one blow, as I was sure that she would be beating the living snot out of her into the next millennium. Hope told Billie that she was going to tell Bo about all the deceit but Greta beat her to the punch and told Bo what she witnessed in the bayou.

Carrie and Mike got carried away in front of the Cheatiní Heart and after a lengthy make out session talked openly about their feelings. They decided to put their desires aside for the good of the people they care about. Didnít they have this conversation before? They talk and talk about doing the right thing but they keep doing the wrong thing. Austin, who was looking for Carrie, was sidetracked by a young hit and run victim and missed the tongue tango. The burning question now is, how long will it be before he finds out? Being this is Austin weíre talking about, Iíd say the gene that causes bad hair will be discovered first. Later a very guilty Carrie announced that she is ready to have Austinís baby. He was so overwhelmed that he said they should wait and start trying the next day. He must be wondering what to do to improve his DNA so that another typical Reed does not emerge.

John and Stefano locked horns over who should have Vivianís power of attorney. Their argument became violent and John went for Stefanoís throat. They danced around the room a little bit and Stefano called him stupid. This comment must have to do with the fact that John could be home smooching with Marlena but instead decides to prance around as the Squinting Avenger. Vivian decided to give John control of her assets but never fear for Stefano is already putting together a plan for revenge. I hope it doesnít have to do with further use of the infamous little box, as I donít think Viv can take much more. I havenít seen so many mood swings since I took part in a study conducted by a laboratory to introduce their new pill called Midol, Atom Bomb Strength.

The Walker sisters squabbled about Nicoleí manipulations and lies. To me, thatís like arguing about the weather as itís something thatís not likely to change just because we want it to. Nicole told Taylor that Eric is way out of her league and to forget about him. She clearly believes she has the upper hand but Taylor held her own and told her that Eric is the kind of guy that cares more about the inside of a person than the outside. Later Eric showed up at Nicoleís apartment and by the way he was sucking her face into his mouth it must mean that honesty canít compete with Nicoleís pouting lips and seemingly endless legs.

Bo and Kate joined the list of heavyweights as they also got into a fight about who is to blame for Billieís anguish. Kate blames Bo for not divorcing Billie so that she can move on and Bo blames Kate for hiring Franco. I say thereís plenty of blame to go around.

Hope and Bo spoke about their situation and she made it clear that she has not been able to get past the fact that he lost faith in their love and committed to Billie. Hope, please! This is Salem remember? Men use women to ease their pain like athletes use Flex-all.

Other tidbits:

  • The ACLU filed a suit forbidding DAYS to continually refer to Wayne and Earl as Yahoos. After lawyers from the union interviewed the boys for a few hours they decided Bozos would be more appropriate.
  • After seeing all the fights involving women on DAYS this week Fathers Against Violence on Television decided to march outside the studio until changes are made. They were particularly enraged at the argument between Taylor and Nicole for they say confrontations are better left to Billie and Hope who can express anger much better with the use of their large, heaving bosoms.
  • Vivian decided to leave the Dimera Mansion when she realized she was staying in Krsitenís old room. She said the insanity waves in there were strong enough to make Edgar Allen Poe seem only slightly melancholy.
  • Eric has told so many people about his problems with Nicole that he received an award from the Boo Hoo Hall of Fame. Roman will present him with the medal, as he was last yearís recipient.

That's all for this week.

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