11/1/97 11/8/97 11/16/97 11/22/97 11/30/97

October 27-31

SALEM, November 1,1997 Halloween came and went and we only got to see Abby dressed up. Where were the rest of the children? Maybe they were dressed up as ghosts.

My condolences go out to Marlena. Not only was she pressured into marrying Roman, she also had a terrible hair week.

Roman perked right up when Doc accepted his proposal. Itís amazing how the prospect of bedding Marlena gave him the strength to get out of bed and get into a tux.

The so called jungle adventure came to an end. Iíve seen more excitement on Geritol Night at the senior center but I digress. The gang made their way back to Salem albeit not without complications. Hope managed to hold on to Romanís cure when their plane crashed. John had to give her mouth to mouth again. I hope John didnít pick up anything contagious in the jungle or they could have a full blown epidemic back in Salem. Within the female population only of course.

The Roman Holiday Bunch was also on itís way back home. Poor Debraís Frederickís of Hollywood wardrobe was not enough to hold on to Mike. Carrie was confused about her feelings for Mike. Austin was just confused, as usual.

Sami said "arrivederci" to Franco and hurried home to be with the only person who really loves her, her daddy.(puhleeese!) Wait till he finds out what his little "peanut" has been up to in Rome.

Bo and Billie continued their honeymoon. Bo had a premonition that Hope was in danger but Billie just shrugged it off and kept her mouth shut about what the fortune teller had said.

Celeste was more certain than ever that the key to the identity of little Elvisí dad was in Jonesyís house. Viv and Ivan dressed up for Halloween and helped Jonesy with his annual bash. No one was able to see what was behind that blasted door.

TC and Travis finally figured out the connection between Jennifer/Hope and Jack. It sure took them long enough. Poor Jack had all his privileges removed. Does this mean that Jen canít spend the night anymore? The inhumanity in todayís prisons is just appalling!

Well, thatís it for this week. Special thanks to my daughter for proofreading for me. Finally Iím getting something back for all the money Iím shelling out to the University of Miami.

November 3-8

SALEM, November 8,1997 As Romanís condition deteriorated most of the weary travelers returned home. The cure was missing one vital ingredient, Stefanoís blood. He was willing to give it for a price; Marlenaís friendship and forgiveness. She of course, agreed. If the kind psychiatrist really believes that is all he wants then I have some land in the Everglades she might want to invest in, along with Lexie who has also taken leave of her senses.

The sight of Roman and Marlena getting married shook John. "Doc" has yet to explain. Maybe she can explain it to me, too.

Kristen immediately seized the opportunity to torment John and told him that Marlena had fallen in love with him only because she thought he was Roman. When is that witchís trial anyway, or is she also going to get a pardon? Maybe Peter can find an old beaker to keep Romanís cure in and then he too can get a pardon when he returns.

Kate continued to meddle and play God with peopleís lives. First, she lied to Bo, telling him that Hope was back in Salem and happier than ever, insinuating that Hope was still with Franco. Then she made dinner reservations for Carrie and Austin hoping to keep Carrie away from the hospital and Mike.

Bo who has come down with the "If I Only Had A Brain" syndrome told Billie for the millionth time that he loves her and they will always be together. In soap opera language that means only one thing; Billie will be dumped sometime in the near future.

Jonesy told Vivian that he would leave everything to her after they were married. Viv made Ivan dress up as Father Guido Sarducci to perform the ceremony. Then the old man announced that he wanted to make whoopee with his new bride. Maybe he can fit it in between naps.

Sami was exposed again. The Brady sisters had it out. Carrie convinced herself, for the time being anyway, that her newfound feelings for Mike were brought about by Samiís scheming. Austin remained clueless. If ignorance is bliss, this guy must be in heaven.

TC and Travis decided that since Jack was off limits then they would go after Jen. Were they having a 2 for 1 sale at the goon mart when Stefano hired these guys?

Marlena and Eric argued about John. He wants John out of their lives. Marlena, for once, was completely honest about her feelings and told Eric she was sorry if that hurt him. Mother and son later made up. (My favorite scene of the week) I must admit that I got a little teary eyed and this time it wasnít because of the atrocious script. Their reconciliation was cut short when Marlenaís beeper went off, alerting them that Roman had gone into cardiac arrest again. How can they tell? He always looks dead to me.

Thatís it for this week

November 10-14

SALEM, November 16,1997 The column is a little late this week because I was suffering from a temporary lapse of sarcasm. Not to worry though, Iím fine now. Here are the events that kept us glued to our TV sets last week.

Roman was on his way to a full recovery after he was given a transfusion of Stefanoís blood. Maybe now they can infuse him with a personality.

Kristen went to the hospital enabling Eric to deliver the best line of the week. She suggested that he let go of his animosity toward her family as it was all in the past. Eric brilliantly replied, "Thatís funny coming from a Dimera, you people never let anything go."

John and Marlena finally reunited and were able to talk things over. John insisted that Roman be told the truth and Marlena reluctantly agreed. Then they proceeded to remind us why they are one of daytimeís hottest couples. Wow!

Eric continued to give his mother unsolicited advice. I hope the writers arenít going to turn him against his mother. I have really enjoyed the rapport those two have with one another.

Sami announced that her next scheme would be to get her parents together again. Maybe she is planning to use the memory-erasing laser on Marlena? Lucas threatened Sami with taking Will away from her if she doesnít shape up. All this hostility was going on during Willís birthday. This would have been a great opportunity for a party so that we could see all the Salem children but as usual they were nowhere to be seen.

Jen was at Travisí mercy. Jack was frantic as he realized there was nothing he could to save the woman he loves. I was frantic as I realized that Jackís cell-mate Herbie and Austin must be alumni of the same acting school.

Speaking of Austin, he invited Carrie and Mike to lunch. It was too much to expect that he would actually have an inkling as to what happened in Rome. He just slobbered on Carrie and gave Mike a watch they had bought for him while they were on their honeymoon. When will this guy wake up and smell the possible adulterous affair?

Susan awaited Elvisí arrival while Sister Moira and Celeste marveled at her mental deficiency and poor sense of taste. Later, Kristen showed up with a "mickey" in a peanut butter sandwich. Itís all part of a master plan for Stefano to take little Elvis away from Susan and give him to Kristen to raise. She hopes John will then see her in a different light; that of someone who needs to be institutionalized.

Thatís it for this week.

November 17-21

SALEM, November 22,1997 Susan at long last realized the truth about her babyís paternity but Stefano and Kristen coerced her into silence. Those two are mean, mean, mean!

Most of Salem converged at Jenís house as the police and Jack, who was able to escape from prison, searched for her. Laura was able to help Jack and threw the police off his trail while he went to Travisí house to look for a clue that would lead him to Jenís whereabouts. Once again Laura has to take matters into her own hands in order for something to get done. Abe, are you taking notes?

Doctor Marcus informed Marlena that Romanís state of mind is crucial to his recovery and therefore any news that might prove stressful should be withheld. I guess deceit is the best medicine after all.

Eric proved to be quite the manipulator as he secured a room for Roman in Marlenaís seemingly interminable penthouse. Roman was full of vigor and couldnít wait to get out of the hospital so he could be close to "Doc." John and Marlena quarreled about this latest turn of events. She argued the point that Roman will need monitoring after his release from the hospital. John wondered just what kind of monitoring and if it would include some "sexual healing" for Roman.

The temporary honeymooners returned and went straight to the hospital to see Roman. I think Bo was hoping to find a doctor who could surgically remove his clingy bride from his side. Upon learning that Hope had been in the jungle getting the cure and not with Franco, Bo was confused. (Join the club) Those two were drawn to each other like John Tesh to a boring tune and finally were able to clear up some misunderstandings. Bo explained that he had not slept with Billie the night Hope walked in on them. However, he neglected to mention that he has slept with her every night thereafter.

Lexie persuaded Stefano to admit the truth about Peter so that Jack can go free and Jen can be saved. Peter learned of Jenís kidnapping on the Internet and immediately called Stefano to find out what was going on. After seeing that handsome devil again, one could hardly blame Jen if she says, "Jack who?" and drapes herself all over Peter. Yowsa!

Well, thatís it for this week.

November 24-28

SALEM, November 30,1997 Roman was released from the hospital and went home to the penthouse. Once there he proceeded to romance Marlena. Luckily after a couple of facial attacks on her, he was called to help with the investigation of Jenís kidnapping.

John went back to the "Demented Mansion" to gather his belongings. Kristen, of course, wasted no time to get herself dolled up and tried to work on Johnís insecurities about Marlenaís feelings. Later, he showed up at the penthouse and planted one on Marlena so that her last thought of the night would be of him. Too bad Roman wasnít there as he could have greatly benefited from that kissing lesson.

Hope wondered what she should do about Bo and Alice told her to listen to her heart. In soap opera land hearts seem to be very chatty organs. Too bad brains are almost always silent. Meanwhile Franco, who had been eavesdropping as usual, vowed that he would not let Bo have Hope. Sounds like another kidnapping in the works.

Kate gave Billie advice about Bo. Basically she told her to continue to be as needy and clingy as she can possibly be. Billie went straight to the police station to get Bo to come home so she could try out her strategy. Bo however, didnít seem too interested and announced that he doesnít know where "home" is. Later, when he walked down to the pier, he saw Hope and Franco in a compromising position.

Austin told Carrie they should have a baby right away. She, after considering the gene pool, politely declined and said they should wait a while.

A mosquito that gave him a fever and superhuman strength bit Peter. He continued to make his way back to the states after arranging to meet with Travis in the Grand Canyon. Peter could hardly wait to see his Jennifer Rose again. Jen kept praying that Jack would catch up to them first. In the meantime she offered herself to Travis in exchange for her freedom. Is that her only method of negotiation?

Sami may have pushed Kate too far this time when she gave "The Intruder" some unflattering information about Kateís business dealings. Kate considered having her silenced, permanently. Sami continued to insist that she is just as uneducated and untalented as Kateís children, therefore she too should have an important job and a big office at Titanís.

Kristen worked on Susan telling her that she should give little Elvis to her to raise. That way he wonít be influenced by Stefanoís evil. I guess itís better if he is influenced by her insanity, instead. After having a terrifying dream I think Susan finally agreed. Between Susanís whining and my yawning, Iím not sure if I heard right.

Well, thatís it for this week. Now I must get back to my recipes for leftover turkey.

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