June 7 June 14 June 21 June 28  

June 1-5

Salem, June 7,1998 We said goodbye to Jack, Jen and Abby this week as they went to Africa to see Bill. Talk about exits that come out of left field. It would have been nice if there would have been a wedding but this is DAYS and if you're married to the person you are living with then you are considered a pariah.

Billie, as expected, got Dr. Applebee to help her lie about the circumstances of the baby's birth and she sent Bo and Hope on one of the biggest guilt trips in Salem history. She insisted that it was the argument she had with Hope in Salem Place that sent her into premature labor. Bo was devastated and he blamed himself for not being attentive enough. Hope blamed herself for distrusting Billie's motives. I blame myself for sitting through all that rubbish. I must admit I was impressed by the good doctor's resourcefulness. Not only was he able to produce a small coffin covered with flowers in a matter of minutes but he also managed to convince Bo and Hope that Billie is a helpless victim.

Mike and Craig fought over what procedure to use on a gunshot victim. I'll spare you the medical jargon but suffice it to say that Craig recklessly recommended surgery and Mike insisted on a non-invasive procedure. The patient went into cardiac arrest and Mike saved his life. Lexie got caught in the middle of all of this as she tried to reason with Craig but that egomaniac's idea of the Hippocratic oath is obviously warped.

Austin went to see Carrie at the hospital to talk to her about Lucas' drinking problem but she was distracted. Carrie said he was being melodramatic and they argued. This, of course, sent him running to the gym and he got into the ring again. Carrie saw him there, courtesy of Sami. She saw how much he loves boxing. All those blows to the head might mess up the hay inside his head but he doesn't seem to mind. Later Sami called him to the Kiriakis Mansion when Lucas misplaced Will after downing a whole pitcher of vodka martinis.

John and Marlena returned from New Orleans and were thrilled to see the children. I, unfortunately turned my face to sneeze and missed the entire scene. Marlena told John to go see Hope and show her the picture they found at Maison Blanche. When he got there she was in the throes of despair over Billie's accusations. He comforted her and they talked about Swamp Girl. They think she was in the hospital at the same time Hope was and that she had similar burns. They also theorized that she might be hiding from Stefano because she knows something about Hope's past. Is this storyline getting old or is it just me.

Laura and Marlena reconciled at the party given for the Hortonís to celebrate Mike making the final cut of candidates. It seemed strange to me that they would make a big to do about this, yet everyone was very nonchalant about Jack, Jen and Abbey's trip. Mike doesn't even have the job yet! What are they going to do when he gets it? Maybe the whole family will bungee jump from the Titan building. Anyway, back to Laura and Marlena; Jennifer explained to Laura that it was Marlena who convinced the judge to allow Laura to receive her therapy as an out-patient. After all, she only tried to kill Kristen who was a thorn in everybody's side and Celeste's psychic powers are still intact so no great harm was done. Ah, the judicial
system in Salem never ceases to amaze me.

Eric and Nicole arrived in LA and saw Madonna and Cher. They looked more like female impersonators to me but what do I know. There was a shady character from her past in the hotel lounge and he kept calling her "Nicki". When Eric returned to the table she pretended not to know the guy. The more I see Nicole in action the more I'm convinced that Eric is in way over his cute head.

Franco, who followed close behind Sami when she made her climatic entrance into the photo lab, talked to Kate and tried to explain what they were doing in the AC duct. Kate was not pleased. He blamed Lucas and almost decked him. Sami was not as lucky as she did get whacked by Kate. If anyone is keeping count I'd like to know exactly how many times Kate has slapped Sami. I know hitting doesn't solve anything but it sure is fun to watch!

Other tidbits:

  • Vivian finally made it down to the freezer and got clunked in the head for her trouble.
  • Dr. Rolf arrived in Salem to work on a potion that Stefano wants to use on Vivian but first he has to audition for the part of Sergeant Shultz in a remake of Hogan's Heroes.
  • Stefano had to be rushed to University Hospital to have his smoking jacket surgically removed.
  • John's rapid hand movements while talking to Hope started a small fire in Alice's living room.

That's all for this week.


June 8-12

Salem, June 14,1998 Bo and Billie buried a coffin filled with stones while she pretended Georgia was in there. They talked non-stop about their pain and loss and as usual, nothing was resolved.

Stefano plunged ahead with his plans for Vivian which involve a small vial and an electric drill.

Roman walked in on Franco and Sami in bed, courtesy of Lucas. That Lucas is beginning to grow on me as for once, someone is giving Sami a run for her money.

John enlarged the photo of Hope and they went to see Celeste for assistance in placing the clothes and the architecture but it was Vivian who turned out to be helpful.

John's inimitable way with the computer was good for a few laughs. For a minute there, I thought he was coming up with the cure for Hepatitis C as he was so fascinated with it. He has a promising future in a well-known establishment. Now all he has to do is learn to say, "May I take your, please?" (I decided to give Austin a break this week.)

Jay, the dirtbag from Nicole's past, continued his unrelenting pursuit of her and Eric confronted him. Jay was condescending and called Eric a high school boy to which Eric replied, "Hey don't knock it as it was that Intro to Photography class that landed me this lucrative job!"

Billie revealed to Kate the real circumstances of the miscarriage and her plans for Hope. While Kate admired her skills at manipulation and treachery, she advised her to move on and divorce Bo. At this point though, it seems more likely that President Clinton will break down and admit he got it on with Ms. Lewinsky.

Hope told Stefano she has no plans to stop searching for the missing years of her past. She's in for it now! Maybe she can have Dr. Rolf surgically implant eyes in the back of her head.

The authors/sex therapists jumped ship and signed with Alemain International. Didn't these two bother to check up on the financial solvency of a company that has all of three people working for it? Maybe their next book will be about their adventures at the unemployment office.

It was revealed that Franco has a contract out on him back in Italy. I guess those people take bad acting very seriously.

Austin and Carrie made up, for now. He sported his shiner and she decided not to mention it. They must be trying deceit as a marriage enhancer. This way when Carrie has the inevitable affair with Mike, it won't be such a shock.

Celeste accepted Vivian's offer to work for her. Now instead of hanging around Salem Place doing nothing she has a beautiful office to do nothing in.

Billie's plan to make Bo hate Hope seems to be backfiring as he blames only himself for the loss of the baby. Could we actually be witnessing the return of Bo's brain?

Sami hired a model to try to seduce Franco. She wants to be sure the Italian Stallion loves only her. I think that cute little bun she has on top of her head is wound a little too tight.

Other tidbits:

  • Alice baked cookies instead of donuts this week. Riots and looting were reported in Salem as a result of this.
  • Billie spewed so much venom at Hope she was offered a job at the serpentarium. She will be in charge of biting the snakes so that they can build up their immune system.
  • Celeste was sued by Saturn for wearing a replica of their planet on her head without permission.
  • Marlena was sighted in LA wearing a T-shirt that said "Gone AWOL and loving it!"

That's all for this week.


June 15-19

Salem, June 21,1998 Bo decided to adopt an honesty policy for his life. He told Billie that he can only be there for her to help her grieve but he still loves Hope. This statement went over as well as when Susan Lucci was informed that she had been passed over again for an Emmy. Billie went ballistic and threw him out. She later called Hope to try to get her to back off so that she and Bo can have a future together and even try to have another child. She must be a student of the Kristen Blake School of Delusion. I'm sure she will graduate magma cum looney.

Bo got out of town and went down to Bayou Dugar. He'd rather face alligators, snakes and Swamp Girl than put up with Billie's whining. I can't say that I blame him.

Nancy Wesley arrived in town and she makes Craig seem as harmless as the Easter Bunny. She has plans for Mike and she intends to take no prisoners.

Carrie and Austin found something else to disagree on. She thinks that Billie should accept the fact that Hope is Bo's true love and move on. He thinks that Bo should stick by Billie. I think that they should take a look at their own marriage which has been taking as severe a beating as Austin in the ring.

Hope and John continued their boring quest for her past. They went to Vivian's townhouse and looked at architectural magazines to try to find where Hope's picture was taken. These scenes were so absorbing and filled with tension that I decided to tune in to a PBS fundraiser instead. I am now the proud owner of a set of Mr. Bean videos.

Sami could not stand the suspense and she went down to the Blue Note to see how things were progressing between Franco and Sofia. The place was jumping and even Lucas who hasn't been able to pick up the flu, let alone a girl, got lucky. Franco took Sofia back to his place but when he went out on the balcony he smelled the perfume that he had given Sami and realized he had been set up. He gave a soliloquy on how much he loves Sami and how his heart belongs to only to her. Too bad Sami had fallen off the balcony and didn't hear any of it so she is gunning for him.

Vivian and Stefano had their date and Dr. Rolf was able to install a small receiver in her tooth which put her completely under Stefano's control. All he has to do is push one of three buttons to control her moods. Like Stefano himself said, gas-lighting has gone high tech. Too bad that all that sophisticated technology can't be more entertaining.

Eric and Nicole frolicked on Venice Beach but Jay hung around like a storm cloud. Later when Nicole met Jay at a bar Eric arrived and there was an altercation. She made up a story about Jay being her druggie cousin and Eric bought it as usual. If they had a pathological liars club, that girl would be the president.

Other tidbits:

  • Plans got underway for a Horton/Brady picnic.
  • Hope began sketching landscapes without realizing what she was doing. She will be showcased on this week's Unsolved Mysteries in a new segment titled, "Who Cares?"
  • Celeste is recovering from a new form of breast enhancement surgery in which you wear the bandages outside your clothing. (Check out Friday's dress)
Disclaimer: If the column this week seems inaccurate and skimpy, you try sitting through all that rubbish and remain interested.

Happy Fathers' Day.

That's all for this week.


June 22-26

Salem, June 28,1998 Mike was set up by Craig and Nancy. They paid a woman to pretend to be a stranded motorist and when Mike gave her a ride back to the Salem Inn she begged him to go up to her room to look at her "son's" medical records. When they got there, she drugged him, undressed him and got him into bed with her. Carrie, who had gone looking for Mike, found them and created a big commotion. All the guests who were at the reception to name the new C.O.S. ran to the room and just stood there gawking. A photographer appeared out of nowhere and snapped a picture of Mike in bed with the bimbo. Security arrived and said that if they wanted to have a party that size they would have to rent one of the ballrooms.

John, Marlena and Carrie suspected Mike had been set up. Austin just stood there trying to figure out how the TV remote worked. The board decided to postpone their decision until the next day or the next scandal. Whichever comes first.

Sami fell victim to Vivian's plans to continue to embarrass Kate in the business community. She suggested she seek revenge on Franco for his indiscretion with Sofia. Sami who was unaware that nothing happened between them went after Franco with a vengeance. She got him to strip and then lured him out on a scaffold and after whacking him over the head, wrote the word "DOG" on his chest.( I personally would have written "Emmy Contender" on his chest but that's just my wicked sense of humor.) When Sofia showed up and cleared things up, Sami went running to apologize to Franco with Lucas on her heels. Lucas locked them both outside the conference room window just as Kate was getting ready to meet there with a financial advisor, whom she hoped would recommend Titan to his clients. Luckily the situation was saved and so was Kate's reputation, for now.

Franco took advantage of Sami's weakened state to propose to her and she accepted. He later called Roberto to ask him to be his best man. Weren't those two at each other's throats just a couple of weeks ago? Oh well, I guess illegal aliens have to stick together.

John and Marlena were all over each other at the C.O.S. reception. The hotel manager came over to them to inform them of their low summer rates in case they needed a room.

Bo got fed up with city life and decided to become Lil' Abner and hang out with Swamp Girl. He followed her around and heard her humming Hope's favorite song, "Tonight I Celebrate My Love." He wondered what that could mean. I have a hunch it has to do with the fact that they want to drag this story out until Fidel Castro denounces communism.

As Hope's newfound talent for drawing kept flourishing, her confusion as to how she acquired it also grew. She was able to draw an exact replica of the drawing Garden at Twilight. If I were her I would get myself a beret and an art studio and continue drawing until Bo comes back to his senses. That at least would be more pleasant to watch than her constant grumbling about how she has to uncover her past without Bo.

Vivian remained at Stefano's mercy. Her constant mood swings baffled all those who came into contact with her. Midol has decided to hire her so that they can try their new medication for nuclear strength PMS.

Billie and Hope argued about who's to blame for Georgia's death. Hope told Billie, she never should have followed Bo to the bayou. She accepted part of the blame but she said Billie should have thought more about her baby. Roman came in the middle of this and informed them that Bo has taken a leave. This statement immediately shifted the argument to who's to blame for him leaving.

Nicole admitted to Eric that she is beginning to have feelings for him. Her lies almost caught up with her when he went to see her at that swank apartment building she told him she lives in. Fortunately, she was able to intercept him.

Other tidbits:

  • Franco won a contest for snappy putdowns when he told Lucas that if he messes with him again he will be eating his food through a straw. Runner-up lines were, "Oh stop it" and "Now, I'm really getting annoyed."
  • Stefano is so pleased with the way the transmitter is working on Vivian that he decided to have one implanted in Marlena. All three buttons will have only one function; they will make her say, "Yes Stefano, I will sleep with you."
  • The residents from the swamp asked Bo to leave as his constant talking doesn't let the animals sleep.
  • Alice assaulted a young man who offered to help her cross a busy intersection. She apologized profusely when she realized it was Shawn D.

That's all for this week.


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