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Jaycee's Week in Review

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February 28-March 3
Salem, March 5, 2000 DAYS came out of its recent lethargy as Rolf's power trip resulted in the downing of the jet. John almost single-handedly saved the day and the action scenes were worth watching. Alice was a real trooper and kept spirits high as the plane did a belly land in the ocean near an island. The castaways settled in and not a moment too soon a helicopter showed up. Everyone encouraged Bo to go on ahead and find Hope and the rest of them would wait for a rescue boat as the island did not have enough clearing for the chopper to land.

Bo and Marlena realized something was wrong with John as he was unable to snap out of his "commando on
amphetamines" mode. He insisted that all he needed was Marlena's love to see him through but by week's end it was evident that he was losing ground to hi s mercenary past.

Kate fretted about how Vivian was holding all the cards but Nicholas assured her that his aunt was gone for good and posed no threat. She still suggested that he leave town but he refused, stating that he now controls Vivian's shares at Titan and he intends to keep a firm grip on the business. We all know what he wants to have a firm grip on but that's another matter. Victor remained oblivious but was sure he and Kate would be able to get back on an even keel. Yes Victor, and Jennifer Lopez's dress at the Grammys made her look as dignified as Audrey Hepburn.

Abe overheard Lexie and Brandon talking and realized that his wife was handing his head over to his worst enemy on a silver platter so he exploded. Lexie was hurt by Abe's words and insisted she had done nothing wrong and that Brandon is innocent of trying to railroad him. When will she see the writing on the wall? When Abe is tarred, feathered and run out of town?

Nicole went to see her mother to try to find out why Brandon is so obsessed with destroying Abe. She plied Faye with tequila to try to get her to talk but she continued to feign ignorance. If this storyline were any duller they would have to threaten our loved ones to get us to watch.

Nancy tried to connect with Chloe by dressing like her. Excuse my "Romanisn" but what the hell was that all about? It looked to me like a feeble attempt to fill in time but then I'm probably just being cynical. In any case, the experiment failed miserably and Chloe blew up because she felt Nancy was mocking her. Craig tried to intervene but the usual teary scene ensued in which Nancy wonders what she's doing wrong. Well, for starters she acts more like an immature teenager than Chloe does. Maybe when Mrs. Wesley grows up and realizes she can't expect the daughter she abandoned to just forget the past without feeling hurt and betrayed those two will be able to make some headway in their relationship.

Sami and Austin went on another date and it was as exciting as watching ice cream melt. Austin is trying too hard and Sami acts as desperate as a liquor salesman in Amish country.

Greta and Eric went for a romantic swim in a lagoon on the island and just as they were getting hot and heavy, Gina's body surfaced next to them. I've heard of interfering mothers but this is ridiculous.

In the chateau, Kurt called his friend, a physician, and asked him to take care of Hope. Upon examining her he found that she was bleeding. He said that she should be taken to a nearby hospital and be seen by an obstetrician but Kurt persuaded him to treat her himself. Kurt reminds me of a Timex watch; he takes a licking but keeps on ticking.

Other tidbits (from the island, of course):

The Salem castaways found themselves on Gilligan's Island and they all tried to outdo each other with the following inventions, contraptions and discoveries:

Eric made a transmitter out of branches and the fillings in Lilli's teeth.

John made a car out of Alice's deep fryer and used Doug's glasses as the windshield.

Marlena came up with a formula to color her hair.

Lilli was able to put together a still and started a moonshine business.

Doug and Julie made an enormous slingshot and used it to try to propel themselves off the island and back to Paris

Alice came up with a recipe for banana donuts.

Belle and Shawn worked together on a solution to make their teeth brighter.

Mimi came up with an anti-obnoxious elixir to give to Phillip when they get back to Salem.

Greta made mud pies.

That's all for this week.

February 21-25
Salem, February 27, 2000 Vivian's plan to catch Nicholas and Kate in fragante at the lodge worked and for a few minutes she had the upper hand but then she decided that what really mattered was Victor's happiness. So she helped them cover up, literally, and Victor went in and surprised Kate by dancing with her in front of a heartbroken Vivian who resolved to leave Salem. When she arrived back at her townhouse she ran into Ivan who had just won the lotto and he convinced her to go away with him and relive all the adventures they had shared in the past. We were treated to a small montage of all the schemes that those two have been involved in over the years and they sent Viv off on her merry way. We will miss "Ivan and Madam" and wish them all the best wherever their future endeavors may take them. Why is it that we keep losing all the great characters that keep us entertained? Why can't Brandon and Nicole be lost in an avalanche? Our mourning time on that would be about as long as Vanessa Williams reign as Miss America.

Brandon tried to pick up Sami at .Com while she was waiting for Austin. This guy doesn't waste any time. We could use him in the Department of Transportation and then all those new highways they keep promising would actually get built.

Abe and Lexie had dinner at Lady Vi's and Austin and Sami, who were there on a date, joined them. The evening ended on a sour note as they all tried to sway Abe to give Brandon the benefit of the doubt and an angry Abe stormed out. You have to give Austin credit as I don't think many people would find it in their heart to stick up for someone who bashed their skull in for no apparent reason. This is either a case of true gallantry or the result of brain damage. Of course with Austin, we'll never know.

In the turret, as Hope and Stefano prepared to have their last meal, Hope felt that Bo was in grave danger. Kurt, who finally came out his coma, sneaked in and fired a gun at Stefano.

On the ill-fated flight, John became more and more annoying as he remembered his training as a mercenary. He took on a new persona; that of Big Bad John and went around barking orders and squinting more than Clint Eastwood in a "spaghetti' western. Marlena was so intimidated by him that she actually gave Lilli some tranquilizers after she had been drinking heavily. What happened to all that talk about ethics and Hippocratic oaths? As he and Bo tried to regain control of the plane, Rolf played mind games and pretended to be the air traffic controller. He told John that he had a message for him and then told him a riddle to let him know that there was a bomb on board. The riddle, which mentioned something about a big bang flight, could have been deciphered by Porky Pig, but I digress. John finally figured out the bomb was in Gina's coffin. Things went from bad to worse as a maniacal Rolf blew out the jet's door and Greta volunteered to go out and close it. She almost fell out of the plane but Marlena, Julie and the rest of the women folk were able to pull her back in. In the meantime, John, Eric and Shawn went down to the cargo area to find the bomb and try to disarm it while Bo and Doug piloted the jumbo jet. When John got to the bomb it was booby-trapped and he had to use some shaving cream to jam the pendulum so that he could take it off the plane. Don't ask me what any of this means, as I haven't got the foggiest idea. At the end of Friday's show we heard a loud bang as Alice prayed.

Other tidbits:

Businesses all over Salem began to close as now the residents only go to Lady Vi's, .Com and Tuscany.

Lilli commandeered the airplane and flew the passengers to the Sutter Home Vineyard. She was later found passed out inside a wine barrel.

Marlena smacked John and announced she's going back to Roman.

Belle wondered if there would be Christina Aguilera CD's in heaven.

That's all for this week.

January 31-February 4
Salem, February 6, 2000 Nicholas was able to sneak into the Kiriakis Mansion and he and Kate had a few intense moments in her bedroom before Victor called to tell wifey dearest that he would be home soon. Meanwhile downstairs, as soon as Austin announced that he was moving out of the guesthouse, Lucas prepared to throw Sami out on her conniving butt. Kate later convinced him that it would be better to let Sami fall back into her old ways and then Austin will see her for who she really is and dump her. I think we have a better chance of seeing Madonna become celibate first but I digress.

Bo went to see Marlena and demanded that she tell him everything Gina said while under hypnosis. At first she refused, citing her patient/doctor confidentiality duty but then she miraculously remembered that she was also obligated to tell all she knew if her patient was a danger to herself or others. So Marlena revealed that she was now sure that Gina was faking all along and that she was not under hypnosis at all but instead had an agenda that included making Marlena doubt John's love and loyalty. It was at this point that John suggested that maybe it was Gina who he rescued at Maison Blanche and that they had all been fooled all along. My question is this: How could it be Gina's fingerprint on the letter they found in the famous music box that bounced around for months before they were able to retrieve it and prove once and for all that Hope was Hope. Don't these writers bother to research past storylines to try to maintain some semblance of credibility?

Victor continued his hunt for Stefano and even found a possible Brady/Dimera connection that might help to shed light on Stefano's vendetta against the Bradys. I'm not young enough to hope to be around when this is revealed so could you all try to get a message to one of my descendants? Thank you.

Nancy opened up to Marlena and asked to be her friend. Marlena was suspicious of Nancy's story of how Chloe came to live with her but she promised not to push the matter until Nancy's ready.

Brandon found a young man named Larry Morris who was paralyzed by Abe. It was a result of an accident when Abe was trying to apprehend the boy's drunken father who then attacked him and the gun went off. Brandon wants Larry to sue the Salem P.D. Don't those kinds of cases have statures of limitations? Oh wait, I forgot this is Salem we're talking about. There you could sue your manicurist for improperly snipping off a hangnail 20 years after the incident.

Abe asked Lexie to meet him at Tuscany for a romantic lunch and then some "Afternoon Delight". Unfortunately, they got into a heated argument because Abe obtained a warrant for Brandon's arrest because of his failure to seek professional help to control his anger. Sorry Abe, you should have kept your mouth shut about what was in the envelope.

At Salem High, Mimi continued to harass Chloe and Belle kept defending her new friend. Phillip was worried that Belle and Shawn might get together so he decided to team up with Mimi to keep them apart. The wild card in all of this is Chloe, as she and Shawn hit it off and she is helping him with his Trigonometry assignments. So Belle could be facing some unexpected competition for Shawn's affection. Enthralling, isn't it? By the way the new Phillip's acting abilities make Austin look absolutely Shakespearean.

Lilli and Greta played the "Who is my father?" game but nothing was revealed. They later went to the Blue Note where they ran into Nicole and Eric. Nicole was busy manipulating Eric into thinking that she was not manipulating him and even used the old, "I've got something in my eye," trick to make Greta believe that there is something going on between her and Eric. There may not be anything right now but he sure is hot and bothered when he's around her so it's all a matter of time. That Nicole makes Mata Hari seem naïve and Eric is as sharp as John McCain is witty.

In the turret, Hope found out she was pregnant. The shock to me was as huge as when Ellen Degeneres announced that she and Anne Heche were moving in together but that's another matter. As Hope tried desperately to recall the events of the last year Stefano revealed that Gina was never at a loss for suitors so this put holes in her theory that Bo had to be the father of her baby. Stefano continued to send the SOS signal and the police showed up at the chateau. Kurt was able to throw them off the trail and then he climbed to the roof to try to pull out the antenna that was transmitting the signal but he fell off leaving Hope and Stefano fearing that their fate was sealed. And as if that weren't bad enough, a spider bit Hope in the leg.

Other tidbits:

Nicholas and Kate were found in a compromising position in the space shuttle right before its launch.

After a terrible week Hope received more bad news;she's being audited by the IRS.

There is new optimism that Stefano and Hope may be found as the Hair Club for Men has now joined the search.

That's all for this week.


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