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Top Ten Reasons To Move To Salem
Posted by Land Shark on 4/29/98

10. Public schools aren't crowded due to the fact that most parents prefer to lock their children in the basement of the DiMera mansion.
9. Eat all the donuts you want and never gain a single pound.
8. Don't feel like going to work everyday? Neither does anyone else. Someone will pay the bills.
7. You can commit a crime and get off scott free. Just blame it on Stefano or a case of Jungle Madness.
6. In case of emergency, ICU 5 is always open.
5. Somehow you're related to Stefano. Just take his money and don't fight it.
4. If the power goes out, you can chop up Roman and use him for firewood.
3. You only have to attend church on Christmas or when someone dies, but you still are considered "religious".
2. Need a job but have no training? No problem, no one in this town actually knows what they are doing.
1. FREE COFFEE AT THE JAVA CAFE!
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