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Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear Said In Salem
Posted by
Land Shark

1. "I am here today to present Austin Reed with the Nobel Prize in biochemical engineering."
2. "Carrie, where do you get your hair done? I love it!"
3. "Hope, you really need a Wonderbra with that dress."
4. "Alice, nobody likes your damn doughnuts. We're just eating them to be nice."
5. "Shawn, honey, if nobody dies next month, we might have to close the Pub."
6. "John, why don't you wear that leather jacket? I never see it anymore."
7. "Maybe we should spend some quality time with the children."
8. "Abby, honey, you don't need a new Ken doll. Daddy is only a life-sized version of Malibu Ken."
9. "I HATE tea"
10. "Great idea"

Some Additions

From Auggie~
"I think I'll go to Safeway for a syringe of Penicillin."

From Valerie1~
"Celeste, your visions are always right, we'll listen to you this time."

From Complex~
"Thank you, Mickey! I couldn't have won my case without you!"

From tish~
"Doctor --just where did you go to school?"

"Are you Sure you took driver's ed.?"

"Laura, it must have been El Nino that made you shoot at Kristen."

"Wow, my dog had that exact hair color!"

From Lois~
"I think I'll go to work today."

From Katie Morosky~
"Brady, you can't be right. How could Kristen or Susan pose as the other one? We know they did it before, but they couldn't do it again."

"Roman, yes, it is true. I fell in love with John before I thought he was you. I even loved him when I thought he was Stefano."

"John, I promise I will never feel guilty again. The guilt is gone forever. Now come take me in the elevator... and the kitchen table... and etc."

From momsrule~
"Abe, the crime scene is clean, we found no other evidence. another excellent job by the Salem PD!"

"Laura is right, she's always right, what an incredible woman!"

"Every body with an Elvis tattoo standup!"


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