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The Spy Who Love Me Nothing seemed better in the daylight. Mike's head was aching as he squinted in the sunlight
outside the stadium. Music was playing loudly inside as he waited with the other agents to enter during the opening
procession of the World Cup. Mike pulled at the nylon warm up suit he was wearing as he shifted his weight nervously.
Soon this would be over and he could go home and move on with his life. Move on without Carrie. Carrie glanced over at Mike. His face was stone and she knew he was angry. Why had she been so stupid to kiss Declan like that? Carrie's heart had broken the minute her lips had touched his, but she kept it going. It had been terrible when the kiss had ended. "Katrina, I..." Declan's voice trailed off as he stared down at her. "You take my breath away, Kat." Carrie winced a little at hearing Declan's words. She could not deny that she'd enjoyed the kiss they'd just shared, but it could go no further. "This never happened, Dec," Carrie said, stepping back from him, breathing hard. "Just forget that it happened." "God, Kat, you don't know how long I've dreamed of kissing you, and now you tell me to forget what just happened? I can't do that." Carrie wrapped her arms around herself as she turned and looked down the hall. He didn't understand. This kiss wasn't about them: it was about Mike. When Carrie left Salem, she left her life behind. She'd suffered for that, she'd gone through incredible pain, and now Mike was back in her life and the only thing she could think of was the return of the pain. She'd made the sacrifice, left her family and friends, her husband, her life, and now he was a daily reminder of how much she'd lost. Carrie just wanted Mike to go away, and kissing Declan was one way to get him to go away. "Listen, Dec," Carrie said as she whipped around. "You're my friend, but that's all it can ever be. That kiss, well, it should have never happened. It wasn't about you or us, it was about something you'll never understand." Declan stared at her for moment, his eyes growing dark green with anger. Carrie knew that every word she said was driving deeper into his heart. She knew that Declan loved her. She'd known it for a long time, but she'd never done anything about it. Now she'd used his feelings. He had every right to be angry. "B****!" Declan said in a low, dangerous voice. With that word, he turned and left Carrie standing in the hall. Carrie felt a wave of weakness wash over her. Oh God, what had she done? As much as she wanted Mike to stay away from her, she still loved him. Now she'd hurt him and her best friend too. Carrie felt weak so she leaned her back against the wall for support. When she'd been in Salem she'd had Austin, then Mike. When she left, she had her bitterness and her self-hatred to keep her warm at night as her dreams haunted her. Now she had nothing left; not even her self-imposed martyrdom. Carrie wrapped her arms around herself as she slid down the wall until she was crouching in the hallway. Quietly, Carrie began to sob. It had been long night after that, and now Carrie was feeling it. She felt tired and fuzzy. Come on Brady, keep it together, she told herself, feeling her waistband for the tenth time, and the assuring chill of her Glock. Katrina Bradley had never allowed personal s*** to get in her way, and now Carrie Brady had to do the same. Regardless of what happened last night, she, Declan and Mike were now interdependent on each other for their safety. Now wasn't the time to drop the ball. The plans that Carrie had smuggled out of the terrorist compound had shown a plan that would cause more widespread damage than anyone had ever thought. It was the ISA's worst fear: Bioterrorism. The terrorists were planning to put Anthrax into the water system at the World Cup stadium. Once the Anthrax contaminated the water system, thousands of people could die from drinking the water. Shane's heart had grown cold as he read the terrorists' plans. The ISA had to stop it. Luckily, the documents that Carrie had taken pictures of also provided enough detail so the ISA could intercept the terrorists. It would all come down to timing. The key was to get some agents to the inner complex. That was where the water main targeted by the terrorists was located. The question was how were they going to do that. That was when Shane remembered that Mike Horton was recovering in the Medical Ward. Shane knew the perfect way to get into the games. He would ask Mike to pose as a sports medicine doctor for one of the teams. The ISA would ensure a last minute cancellation by a team doctor and put Mike in his or her place. Carrie and Declan would accompany Mike as his assistants, gaining them access to inner complex. Once inside, Mike could continue to pose as the team doctor, while Carrie and Declan headed straight to the contamination point to intercept the terrorists. It would be an easy mission for Mike and a more dangerous one for the other two agents, but Carrie and Declan were the best. Shane knew they would complete the mission successfully, saving thousands of lives. Shane's chest swelled with pride as he thought of the service he would be doing for his country. He could practically hear God Save the Queen playing as he was knighted by the Queen... Cut the crap, Donovan. Being the Director the ISA was intoxicating sometimes, but right now he had to concentrate on the task at hand. Shane picked up the phone and dialed the medical ward. "Mike Horton's room," he barked into the phone. It was a good plan; a very good plan. The noise of the crowd was deafening as Mike walked out into the stadium. The voices of millions combined into one giant roar as they cheered their favorite team. For a brief moment, Mike was overwhelmed. He shook off the feeling and concentrated on his role. Get across the field and get Declan and Carrie into the main complex. Only 100 yards now. Mike felt sweat roll down the side of his face. He just didn't want anyone to stop them. Shane had briefed him, going over his story over and over, but Mike still felt unconfident about his ability to lie. The French police were on the lookout for terrorists, and they were purposely left unaware of the ensuing ISA operation. The last thing Mike wanted to do was attract attention and have them discover that he wasn't everything he claimed to be. 75 more yards to go. Mike glanced over at Carrie. She was walking with a measured gate, her face blank. It was the same look he'd seen as she'd thrown herself out of the hut and towards the helicopter at the Peace Corp compound. It was the look of someone going into battle. Mike felt his heart clench. It was that wall that he felt he was fighting. The ISA had given Carrie a place to hide in more than one way. Mike glanced away from Carrie's face and towards the entrance to the complex. 50 more yards to go. His nerves were wearing thin. He wasn't an ISA agent. He wasn't trained to handle these situations. Mike could only hope he could keep it together a little longer. Once inside, Carrie and Declan would split off and head towards the water system. Mike's only job at that point would be to sit on the bench and play doctor. They would complete the mission by the end of the opening festivities, and they would rendezvous at the Algerian team area. Once they met, they would leave the complex with the rest of the athletes. Easy, simple, pat. Mike's gaze stayed fixed on the approaching complex entrance. 25 yards to go. They were about fifteen yards away from the entrance when Carrie glanced over at Declan. He and Mike seemed to be having a contest over who could look the most miserable. Carrie could only hope that both would stay professional during the mission. All of their lives depended on it. A shadow passed over Carrie as they entered the complex. "Break," she whispered into a tiny microphone implanted in the collar of her black warm-up jacket. Carrie turned quickly into a small hallway on her right. She leaned up against the wall, trying to shrink into the shadow as the rest of the players passed. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the hall was empty. Carrie pulled her Glock pistol out and unlatched the safety. She looked around quickly, then signaled to Declan who had ducked into the hallway on the other side of the main corridor. Declan ran across the hall and shrunk up against the wall next to Carrie. His face was cold and hard, and he wouldn't meet Carrie's gaze. D*** it, Carrie thought, this kind of conflict might compromise the mission. "Declan, I..." Carrie whispered. "Up the stairs," Declan interrupted her, nodding towards the stairway at the back of the small hall. He obviously wasn't going to say anything to her about what had happened last night. Carrie moved quietly towards the stairs, her pistol drawn and Declan following behind. Shane looked at the screen with two green blips on it. He'd had Carrie and Declan outfitted with tracking devices so he could watch their progress. The were just coming up the stairs to the second level of the complex. 100 yards, maybe 150, and they would be at the water main. According to the terrorist plans, Carrie and Declan would intercept the enemy before they could contaminate the water. Shane only hoped nothing would go wrong on this mission. He prided himself in putting together good teams of professional agents. He worked hard to fit personalities together. That was why he'd chosen Declan for this mission. He and Carrie had worked well in Russia, and Shane thought they'd be perfect for the next leg of the mission. After this morning, Shane wasn't so sure. Shane had noticed the tension right away. It was so thick that it could have been cut with a knife. Declan and Carrie had arrived at the same time, both being extraordinarily polite to each other, both lacking their usual camaraderie. Shane felt his usual worry line start to form. Then Mike had walked in, and Shane knew something was going on. D*** it, Carrie, what did you do to get one of my best agents and our only doctor all twisted up inside? Shane's prep speech had been all about professionalism, all about teamwork, all about working despite your differences. He hoped that his words would hit home, and that Carrie, Declan and Mike would come out of this mission in one piece. It was an overwhelming sense of doom that Mike couldn't shake. Ever since Carrie and Declan had split off from the group, Mike had felt that something was desperately wrong. He looked at his watch. It had been forty five minutes since they'd split up . Declan and Carrie should be at the water main by now. Mike stood up from the bench where he'd been sitting. He knew Shane had asked him to play his role and do nothing wrong, but he couldn't. Not when he felt Carrie was in danger. The truth was that Mike still loved her and even if she didn't feel the same way, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to her. Mike slipped quietly out of the locker room where the team was getting ready for their first game. They wouldn't miss him. Fifty more yards. Carrie ran softly down the corridor towards the water main. Her head was anywhere besides on the task at hand. She would fix things, she thought. When this was over, she'd fix everything. It was time for her to stop running away and to stop hurting other people because she didn't want to get hurt. It might even be time for her to go home. Carrie was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the click of a hammer pulling back on a gun, and she didn't see Declan stop in front of her until she ran into his back. "What in the hell..." Carrie said, surprised, then she froze. There was a blond woman standing in front of them holding a gun. Carrie's eyes grew wide in shock as she recognized who was holding the gun. "I thought I might find you here," the woman said, pointing the gun steadily at Carrie and Declan. "You had me fooled, Kat." "Who is this, Katrina?" Declan whispered. "Shut up," the blonde said, cracking her gun across Declan's jaw. Carrie saw a trickle of blood form on the side of his mouth as he rubbed his jaw. Stay calm, Brady, stay calm. She had to keep her wits about her. She had to keep in control. "You had me fooled too, Emily." Carrie said, her voice even and soft. The blond American seemed more menacing in the dim lit hallway. D***, Carrie thought, I should have been more careful. I should have done a background check on her in Angola. "We were looking for you, Katrina," Emily said, gesturing for Carrie and Declan to move against the wall. "We knew that the ISA would send in an operative, but we didn't consider you. Well, that was until your abrupt exit." Emily smiled a little as she quickly frisked Carrie, then Declan. She took their guns and threw them on the ground, as she pushed both of them up against the wall. The cement was cold on Carrie's cheek as she tried to think what to do. "So, if you knew what we were up to, why are you here, Emily?" Carrie asked, trying to keep her talking. The longer she talked, the more time she had to figure a way out of this. "Oh, we did change the time, Katrina. They've already released time-release capsules filled with Anthrax. It should be about..." Emily glanced at her watch, "...30 minutes before it releases. No, we took care of that. I decided to take care of you too." D***, Carrie thought, that upped the ante. She had to get out of this in time to warn Shane and have them shut off the water main. They had hoped to intercept the terrorists and avoid a public panic. Now Carrie just hoped they could shut off the water before the Anthrax released. "I would love to kill you now," Emily said nonchalantly, "but my employers want you kept alive. They want to find out how much you know. I'm sure it will be fun for both of you." So, Emily, or whoever she was, was a mercenary, and not with the terrorists. Carrie filed that information away for later use. If there was going to be a 'later' for them. "Oh, and I'm sure that my employers will get more than information from you," Emily whispered as she stood behind Carrie. "B****," Declan spat out, his voice muffled where his face was pressed against the wall. Carrie glanced at him just as Emily brought her gun crashing down on Declan's head. Carrie tried to keep control as she saw her friend crumple against the wall. Seeing him lying there steeled Carrie's resolve. She was going to beat this witch if it was the last thing she did. Carrie quietly shifted her weight to the balls of her feet. "You should have muzzled your friend," Emily said. Carrie heard her move away from them and unzip something. Now was her chance. In one quick motion, she launched up, spun around, kicking her leg and knocking Emily's gun out of her hand and sending it skidding across to the other side of the hall. Carrie landed with her legs spread wide and her knees slightly bent. "You little..." Emily lunged at Carrie, but Carrie spun around again, sending Emily directly into the wall. "Can't you do better than that?" Carrie sneered, breathing hard. She was glad a major part of her ISA training had been hand-to-hand combat. Carrie turned to see where the gun had landed just as Emily launched herself from the wall and sent Carrie flying into the opposite wall. Carrie hit the wall with a dull thud and landed on her hands and knees. Emily pulled her up by the hair and jammed her knee into Carrie's stomach, knocking the wind out of her. Carrie collapsed on the ground, trying to find her breath. Emily looked around the hallway quickly until she spotted her gun. She picked it up then walked over to stand above Carrie. "I'll get h*** from my employers, but I'd rather wipe your annoying face off the earth, Kat. Nothing would give me more pleasure." Carrie heard the click. No way, sister, she thought. There's no way that we're done. With a grunt, Carrie lunged up, throwing her body weight at Emily. She pushed Emily across the hallway back towards the wall where Declan was starting to regain consciousness. He had a dazed look on his face as he watched Carrie ram Emily into the wall, her head hitting it with a crack. Carrie pulled back quickly, ready for Emily's next move when she realized that Emily's head had hit the wall with enough force to knock her our. Carrie watched in satisfaction as Emily collapsed against the wall, then crumpled to the floor. "Knockout, Sister." Carrie said under her breath as she quickly turned to Declan. He had managed to pull himself up and was standing in the middle of the hall looking dazed. "You okay?" she asked, touching a trickle of blood that was drying on his forehead. "Cause you look like h***." "Thanks." Declan smiled, then winced as he felt the spot where Emily had cold cocked him. "She was one tough mother." "That she was." Carrie smiled back. Things might never be the same between her and Declan, but they were back towards normal. "Now, I have to get hold of Shane." Carrie reached into her pocket to get her cell phone then looked up in shock as she heard footsteps running down the hall. She looked up and her eyes widened in surprise as the footsteps rounded the corner and she saw that it was Mike. "Carrie!" He yelled, his voice urgent. "Behind you!" Carrie turned around just in time to see that Emily had regained consciousness and still had her gun. It was pointed directly at Carrie. Instinctively, Carrie hit the floor just as she heard the gun go off with a loud crack. Mike was running towards Carrie and Emily when he jerked back. Carrie watched in horror as she saw him grab his chest and looked dazed. Carrie's whole body went numb and she felt like she was watching everything in slow motion. All of the sounds were amplified as Mike groaned and started to fall towards the floor. Carrie had seen this happen before. Mike had been shot. As Carrie watched Mike fall forward, everything became crystal clear. She loved Mike and nothing and no one would ever change that, including Carrie herself. Carrie screamed, then turned towards Emily and saw that she still had the gun. Carrie lunged at her then heard the gun go off. Emily looked surprised as she started to fall forward, a bullet wound in her back. Declan was standing behind her, Carrie's Glock in his hand. Emily hadn't had time to fire the gun a second time. Carrie felt relief wash over her, then turned back around. Mike was lying on the floor with a gunshot wound to his chest. Carrie ran over to him and knelt by him. He looked terrible. "I'm sorry," she said over and over, as she unzipped her black warm ups and pulled off her tank top. She pressed it to the wound in hopes of stopping the bleeding. Please Mike. Please hang in there. You have to live, because if you don't, I don't. I know that now. I know that I haven't been living since I ran away from you. Carrie had thought that she would keep Mike away by hurting him. If Mike hated her then she could continue to hate herself; hate herself for hurting Mike, for hurting Austin, for leaving her family. When Carrie had become Katrina, she became someone for whom feelings were a weakness and love was impossibility: someone who didn't need anyone. Forgiveness had never been part of Katrina Bradley's vocabulary, and especially self-forgiveness. Then Mike had found her, and Carrie felt more fear than any of the times when she had wondered if she would make it back to the ISA headquarters in anything but a body bag. Mike still loved her. She could see it in his eyes. He hadn't moved on; he had waited for her, searched for her. Deep down, Carrie didn't feel worthy of a love that pushed Mike to find her halfway around the world. Now it didn't matter. All Carrie wanted was to be able to hold Mike in her arms one more time. "Declan!" Carrie yelled, turning around. "Call Shane. Tell him about the Anthrax, and that we've got an injury. Tell him it's Mike." Please, God, Carrie prayed silently. Please let him live. Copyright © 1998, w3PG, inc. |