The Stupid Man
(an ode to John Black to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man")
(January 1997)


Well, it's nine o'clock at the Brady Pub;
regular crowd shuffles in.
And Bo Brady's sitting at the bar
making love to his tonic and gin.
He says "John, can you give some advice to me?
I'm not really sure who to choose.
I've got Hope, I've got Billie
but they're both so silly
I wish I could make them both lose."
Why's he asking John? John's a stupid man;
stupidest man in that town.
He can't tell even when he's in bed with her
that's a pillow in Kristen's nightgown.
Oh la da da de de da, la da de de da, da dum.

Well, Jack Deveraux is a friend of theirs;
he's going to jail for Jenn.
While he used to be smart and he had a good heart,
now he is just Barbie's Ken.
He can't tell that Peter is framing him.
He should know DiMeras never die.
Stefano paid the judge, so Jack's getting life.
No one's smart enough to ask why.

Well, Mickey is just a bad lawyer
who never spends time with his wife.
And he's talking with Austin; I guess Sami's caught him.
She'll probably have him for life.
And Kristen is practicing hypnosis
with the mirror her big brother brought.
Yes, Krissy is as bad as Stefano
but we know she'll never get caught.
Why's Kristen want John? John's a stupid man;
stupidest man in that town.
He can't tell even when he's in bed with her
that's a pillow in Kristen's nightgown.
Oh la da da de de da, la da de de da, da dum.

It's a pretty good crowd at the Brady Pub
and Shawn gives the babies a smile
'cause he knows that it's they
with their parents away
who've been manning the stove for a while.
And the chowder, it tastes like it's baby food
but the babies are guzzling beer.
And John sits at the bar and he fixes Shawn's car
and says "Man, why'd I leave my kids here?"
John left his kids there, he's a stupid man;
stupidest man in that town.
He can't tell even when he's in bed with her
that's a pillow in Kristen's nightgown.

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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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