A Story
(December 1996)

At Bo and Hope's boat.
Hope: Bo, I've decided to stay and marry you.
Bo: That's great, Fakey Front.
Shawn-Douglas: Hooray! We're a family again!
Hope: Go spend the night at your grandmother's house.
Shawn-Douglas: Hooray! We're a family again!
Bo: And don't ever come back!
Shawn-Douglas: Hooray! We're a family again!
Hope: After all, you don't even have a bedroom on this boat.
Shawn-Douglas: Hooray! We're a family again!
Bo: And my Fakey Front and I don't have time to take care of you. We have to have sex.
Shawn-Douglas: Hooray! We're a family again!
(The next day.)
Bo: . . . and so, Fakey Front and I are back together.
John: I'm glad. But it was pretty stupid of you not to check out that Jane Doe as Jill sooner, and that's a fact.
Bo: Pillow?
John: I don't get what you just said, and that's a fact.
Bo: Never mind. Hi, Austin!
Austin: Uhhhh . . . hi.
John: How's Carrie?
Austin: Uhhhhh . . . I . . . uhhh . . . don't . . . uhhh . . . know . . . uhhh . . . how . . . uhhh . . . she . . . uhhh . . . is. She . . . uhhhh . . . doesn't . . . uhh . . . love . . . uhhh . . . me . . . uhhh . . . any . . . uhh . . . more . . . and . . . uhh . . . she . . . uhhh . . didn't . . . uhhh . . . even . . . uhhhh . . . tell . . . uhhh . . . me . . . uhhh . . . to . . .uhhh . . . my . . . uhhh . . . face. She . . . uhhh . . . had . . . uhhh . . . Sami . . . uhhh . . . tell . . . uhhh . . . me.
Bo: Don't you think Sami might have lied?
Austin: Uhhhh . . . think?
Sami: That's right, Austin. Don't think about Carrie. Just think about me and Will.
John: Sami, where is your sister?
Sami: She's not tied up in your basement.
John: That is what you did with her the last five times she disappeared, and that's a fact.
Sami: Not this time.
John: I believe you. I won't even look, and that's a fact.
Sami: Good. You should get back to Kristen.
John: That's a fact. Kristen!
"Kristen": Raht, heyuh, John. How are y'all today?
Sami: Kristen, you don't have a Southern accent. Even if you did, it wouldn't sound like that.
John/Bo/Austin: What are you talking about?
Sami: Kristen, I'm taking Will to the doctor. Want to come and see if the doctor would be good for your baby?
"Kristen": Thanks, m'am. Bah ever'body.
At the doctor's office.
doctor: Sami, we've done some bloodwork. Austin isn't Will's father.
Sami: Then who is?
doctor: Father Francis. I'm sorry.
Sami: Don't be sorry. Now I don't have to hang around with that dummy Austin any more. I'll go untie Carrie.
"Kristen": Father Francis is the father of my baby, too.
Sami: What about John?
"Kristen": I'm not really Kristen. My name is Susan.
Sami: Well, since our kids will be siblings, we should be friends. I'm going to Colorado so Will can become a teenager in two years and I'll be able to do other things. Want to come?
Susan: Sure.
Sami: I'll have to get Carrie first.
In the DiMera basement.
Sami: Carrie, you can have Austin now. I'm going to Colorado.
Carrie: I don't want him anymore. I'd rather go with you.
Sami: No problem. Let's go.

THE END
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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