Jennifer's house. She is on the stairs; Peter is in the open doorway.
Jenn: Peter, get out of my life forever.
Peter: Jenn, please- (the door is slammed in face; he talks to himself) Jenn, I love you. I can't live without you. (begins walking) Krissy, I know I promised you I wouldn't kidnap Jenn, but I can't live without her. (He walks into the street and is hit by a car. He is dead; we see his head detatched from his body, which Sami trips over.)
Sami: Oh no! No! I'm so traumatized! Traumatized! Austin, hold me.
Austin: Uhhh . . . Sami . . . uhhh . . . I'm . . . uhhh . . . sorry . . . uhhh . . . you . . . uhhh . . . had . . . uhhh . . . to . . . uhhh . . . see . . . uhhh . . . that. You've . . . uhhh . . . been . . . uhhh . . . through . . . uhhh . . . so . . . uhhh . . . much.
Kate: Austin, don't touch that little witch. She probably killed Peter herself.
Sami: No, Carrie did this! Carrie! I will never let her get away with it! Never!
policeman: Carrie Brady did this?
Sami: Yes! Yes!
Austin: Uhh . . .
policeman: Carrie Brady, you're under arrest.
Austin: Uhhh . . . no . . . uhhh . . . don't . . . uhhh . . . arrest . . . uhhh . . . Sami.
policeman: We aren't.
Austin: Uhhh . . . I . . . uhhh . . . mean . . . uhhh . . . Carrie. I . . . uhhh . . . love . . . uhhh . . . Carrie.
Austin: Uhhhh . . . sex.
(The policeman locks Carrie up.)
Austin: Uhhh . . . Sami . . . uhhh . . . I . . . uhhh . . . will . . . uhhh . . . never . . . uhhh . . . forgive . . . uhhh . . . you . . . uhhh . . . for . . . uhhh . . . this.
Sami: I will never lose you! Never!
Austin: Uhhh . . . well . . . uhhh . . . as . . . uhhh . . . long . . . uhhh . . . as . . . uhhh . . . we're . . . uhhh . . . here . . . uhhh . . . want . . . uhhh . . . to . . . uhhh . . . go . . . uhhh . . . to . . . uhhh . . . Bo . . . uhhh . . . and . . . uhhh . . . Hope's . . . uhhh . . . party?
Sami: I'm glad you asked, Austin! Glad!
Kate: Austin, you hate Sami. Remember?
Austin: Uhhh . . . yeah . . . uhhh . . . go . . . uhhh . . . away . . . uhhh . . . Sami.
Sami: You will lose, Kate! You!
(On her way home, Sami discovers a disoriented, semiconscious man. He looks familiar, but from where?)
man: Help me, please.
Sami: Hold still! Still! Here's your identification! Identification! Peter Blake? You're alive?
Peter: That's a fact.
Peter: No, Peter.
Sami: You just said "that's a fact!"
Peter: I did?
Sami: Oh no! You've been possessed! Possessed! By John Black!
(She chains Peter to a bed. He begins to levitate in order to trick Sami into thinking he's evil again. But when she releases him, he starts taking care of Will and writing checks to charity. She locks him up again, realizing she can't save Peter without help. She goes to Bo and Hope's party and finds Stefano, who hasn't been recognized by the other guests
because he parted his hair a different way.)
Sami: I need your help! Help!
Stefano: You want help from me? I almost killed your parents.
Sami: Like I care. Come on, this is a boring party anyway! Anyway!
(Stefano sits with Peter day and night, and there is a battle between Stefano and John. Stefano wins, and Peter kidnaps Jenn.)
Stefano: Don't do that in front of Sami.
Sami: Oh, no, go ahead! Go ahead! She couldn't act her way out of a paper bag anyway! Anyway! But could you also kidnap Austin and take us with you?
Peter: No problem.
(The four leave for Stefano's island. Jennifer and Austin quickly forget their past lives, but they bore Sami and Peter to tears. Sami and Peter turn to each other, marry, and live happily ever after.)
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copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me.
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