Eric Returns Story
(November 1996)


Sami has gone to the airport to meet her twin brother, Eric. she looks for him in vain for over an hour and gets more and more worried. She finally has him paged, but no one shows up but a six-year-old boy.
boy: I'm Eric.
Sami: You're not the Eric I'm waiting for. I'm waiting for my twin brother.
boy: I AM your twin brother, Sami.
Sami: But I'm eighteen and you're six.
Eric: No, we're both twelve. You stole six of my years.
Sami: Well, you lucked out. I stole Carrie's husband, and I sold Belle to a baby broker.
Eric: Yeah, I heard. Why aren't Mom and Dad here?
Sami: Who do you mean by Mom and Dad?
Eric: Point taken. But can I have my years back?
Sami: Ask Mickey. He used to be married to Laura, but now she's young enough to be his daughter and I think he's a little jealous.
(They walk to a church near the airport.)
Eric: Dear God, please make me the same age as Sami.
God: Oh no! A Brady! I'm tired of these Bradys. Save me from the gas chamber. Unpossess me from the devil. Get back my kidnapped son. Let my wife survive a snowslide. I have a headache. I'll just give him what he wants and maybe he'll shut up.
Eric: (now 18) Wow! Instant service!
Sami: Hey, something good has to come out of being raised by John Black. So, now that you're eighteen, what do you want to do?
Eric: Watch TV.
TV: Here's the story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls . . .
Eric: Hey! It's you, Carrie, Mom, and Belle.
Sami: No! We're nothing like that. My hair of gold is not like Mom's- I'm a natural blonde. And who knows if Belle's hair is curly? No one has seen her in months, least of all Mom.
Eric: Okay, but Carrie is a lot like Marcia. I love them both.
Sami: (stomping her foot and flipping her hair) Carrie, Carrie, Carrie! Everybody loves Carrie!
Eric: Well, let's go surprise Mom. Is she at work?
Sami: Work? You HAVE been gone a long time! Follow me. (They begin to walk, but Eric grows more and more upset as he realizes they are approaching the DiMera Mansion.)
Eric: Sami? Don't we hate the DiMeras?
Sami: Not all of them. John's marrying one.
Eric: So why is Mom there?
Sami: Trust me, you don't want to know. (as they enter the house)
Marlena: Hello, Sami. Is this your new boyfriend?
Eric: (stunned) Uhhh . . .
Marlena: See, I said you'd find another man just as smart as Austin.
Eric: I'm your son, Eric. Eric Roman Brady.
Marlena: Sami, this is low. Are you trying to convince me I have a child I don't remember?
Sami: Mom-
Marlena: GET OUT!
Kristen: Marlena, who are you kicking out of my house? (to Sami and Eric) Hi, kids.
Sami: This is my brother, Eric.
(Eric reaches out to shake Kristen's hand, but he slips and punches Kristen in her pillow/stomach.)
John: That's a flexible and resilient baby, and that's a fact.
Eric: How did we survive infancy being raised by these people?
Sami: I don't know. Want to go back to Colorado?
Eric: Please.
Sami: I'll walk you to the airport.

THE END
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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