Friday, December 31, 1999

And here we are, watching the year 2000 celebrations live from Japan, where it is midnight.
Reporter: Well, Japan hasn't ceased to function as of yet.
Announcer: However, the Y2K bug could still byte you!
Reporter: So, we now return you to ClayZebra's synopsis. Make sure you print it out and save it in case your computer crashes.

Hope is STILL stuck in the prison with Stefano.
Hope: What'll Gina do to Shawn-Douglas?
Stefano: Well, for one thing, she'll call him by his new name, Shawn-not-Douglas. Watch out for that spider, by the way. Princess Gina was stuck here for nine years and managed not to have any run-ins with deadly spiders, but we've had several in less than a week.
Hope: I don't want Bo to be caught in Gina's deadly web.
Stefano: Do not attempt these metaphors unless you are a professional.
Hope: Oh, get back to sending out the Morse code distress signal.
Stefano: Why can't you take a turn?
Hope: Hey, it's my job to look like a pretty damsel in distress until some handsome man decides to rescue me! Nothing else. Got it?

MEANWHILE, Shawn-not-Douglas and Bo are at Salem Place.
Shawn-not-Douglas: Nervous?
Bo: Why would I be nervous? The world is a happy place with no deceptions or schemes whatsoever in progress. I'm ready to start the new millenium.
Shawn-not-Douglas: Look, we count from year one, not year zero. So, the year one hundred would be the one hundredth and final year of the first century, and one-hundred-one would be the first year of the second century. Likewise, 2001 is the first year of the new millenium and century. That means the year 2000 is the final year of the twentieth century.
Bo: Wow, you are so much smarter than I am.
Shawn-not-Douglas: So, about the fact that you're marrying Gina and not Hope-
Bo: Shut up and give your mother a chance. I have no proof of your intelligence or my lack thereof.

MEANWHILE, Rolf and Bart are still trying to deal with the Y2K problem in the chip in John's head.
Bart: Rolf, you're going to get him at the wedding?
Rolf: Yes, I'll be disguised as a priest. I'll cross myself and say "pax vobiscum."
Bart: I think they'll see through your disguise. When you say "pax vobiscum" you're supposed to go like this-
(Tries to demonstrate the correct gesture and winds up putting out Rolf's eye. The two of them leave Salem to get help and leave the role of comic relief to its rightful owners, Vivian and Ivan!)

MEANWHILE, John himself has not arrived at the Penthouse, but, despite the fact that I killed her off in my last synopsis, Belle is there.
Belle: Mom, Dad left to pick up his tux at the same time you left to get our dresses and here we are dressed and ready to go and he hasn't been heard from. Are you worried? Do you think Stefano got him? Do you think Stefano will ever try to kidnap me like he did Carrie and Sami and Eric? Are you also worried about Hope? Can you tell me what she said in her sessions? Does doctor-patient confidentiality still apply when I'm your daughter and her niece, well sort of, honorarily? Please tell me? Hey, have you heard from Shawn-not-Douglas? Do you think it would seem incestuous if I start dating him? Not that I'm interested in him, but do you think he's cute?
Marlena: Belle, I don't know and I don't care. I'm going to see Hope; when your Daddy calls, tell him to wait for me.
(She leaves and the phone rings.)
(on phone) Isabella, lock up the Penthouse and wait for me to get there.
Belle: Why did you just call me Isabella instead of Belle? Doesn't that make you think of the woman I'm named after, Brady's mother? Where is Brady, anyway? Did Stefano get him? Do you think Stefano will get me and that's why you wanted me to lock up? Are you trying to scare me? Where are you, anyway? Why is it night where you are and where I am but in the scene with Shawn-not-Douglas and Bo it's broad daylight and they're sitting outside? Do you really think I'm in danger?
(on phone) Belle, I've changed my mind. Leave the door wide open and if two guys named Rolf and Bart come for you, go with them.

MEANWHILE, Gina is getting ready for her wedding to Bo.
Greta: Mother is wearing a dress with a tiara. How will she make people believe she's Hope while she's wearing that?
Lili: You underestimate your mother's ability as an actress.
Greta: I don't think so. But I may overestimate the collective abilities of perception of the Salemites.
Lili: Easy to do. Just remember that your mother does as she pleases, and now she pleases to be Hope Williams Brady. And there's absolutely nothing illegal or immoral about that.
(watching) That woman is NOT my daughter!
(watching) Well, now we know where Shawn-not-Douglas got his brains, since it obviously wasn't from his father. By the way, look at this menu. I don't think there's a single food on here that Bo could pronounce.
(watching) Well, now you're being a little hard on Hope. How many words CAN Bo pronounce?
Gina: Greta's right, they look suspicious. Maybe I should lose the tiara.
Lili: Don't give up the wedding of your dreams to placate the Hortons and the Bradys. You don't owe them anything just because you've locked one of them away and are pretending to be one of them.

End of Show
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