|Tuesday, December 28, 1999
Fine, I take back the comment about Hope I made yesterday. She is and forever shall be the back half of Bozo and Hopeless, or Boring and Boringer.
The aforementioned Hopeless is still imprisoned with Stefano.
Stefano: That's right, I set this radio to pick up only the classical music station.
Hopeless: Then that proves that you built this prison, if you set the radio.
Stefano: No it doesn't.
Hopeless: Of course it doesn't. You are a good and honest man.
Stefano: But I will get out if here if it kills me.
Hopeless: Which isn't bloody likely . . .
MEANWHILE, the aforementioned Bozo is at the Pub.
Roman: Bozo, don't worry so much about Shawn-not-Douglas. When Sami was that age, she never met an argument she didn't like. And look how well she turned out. She became very easy to live with as soon as her sister left town, leaving her husband to Sami.
Bozo: Thanks. I have another problem, though. Will you stand up for me at my wedding?
Roman: Heck no! I have virtually no screen time since I have no love interest and even my children are in back-burner stories for once, but I won't be your best man because I'm hoping the viewers will completely forget who I am.
Shawn-not-Douglas: You don't have to be so sarcastic. That's my job, after all. Belle, I can't stand it. Dad is marrying Princess Gina and he doesn't even know it.
Announcer: (coming out of nowhere) Whoa! Line of the decade goes to Shawn-not-Douglas as he sums up an entire year of plot in one sentence!
(returns to wherever he came from)
Belle: Well, I know you're depressed and all, but just let me remind you that if you left town, I wouldn't care. Aren't I a sweet girl, a true daughter of John and Marlena?
MEANWHILE, some people are more excited about the wedding than is Shawn-not-Douglas.
Lili: Hope, I've picked the church for your wedding.
All: It's not at all unusual that Hope is not insisting she be married in the church where the Bradys always get married.
Gina: Greta, will you be my maid of honor?
Greta: Yes! I've always wanted to be in a wedding and this one will be perfect. Except that the groom thinks he's marrying someone else, the groom's son is going crazy because he knows that the bride isn't really his mother, the bride has had to threaten one of the family's closest friends (who happens to be the mother of my boyfriend) into silence, and the woman that the groom thinks he's marrying is actually sharing a cell with a crime lord.
Gina: Well, it will be perfect other than that.
All: It's not at all unusual that Hope has picked someone she barely knows as maid of honor instead of one of her relatives or her husband's relatives, who between them comprise most of the town.
Lili: Gina, I have the music planned.
All: It's not at all unusual that Lili called Hope "Gina."
Doug: Do I still get to sing?
All: It's not at all unusual that Hope doesn't know her father can sing and had planned to sing at her wedding.
Marlena: (pulling Gina aside) It's obvious that you're in denial.
Gina: This is Salem, not Egypt.
Marlena: Hope, I am a psychiatrist-
Gina: And I will see to it that you lose your license.
Marlena: If the possession didn't do it, nothing will.
MEANWHILE, at the DiMera Mansion:
Maid: Mr. DiMera hasn't been home for weeks.
Lexie: Can I still wait for him?
Rolf: No one knows where he is.
Bart: He didn't even send me my Christmas bonus.
Rolf: That's because he made his list, and checked it twice, and realized that you hadn't been naughty enough.
Bart: I knew I should have given John a few more bruises.
End of Show
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