Monday, December 27, 1999

Welcome to Monday's Synopsis. Y'know, I think I might be in danger of starting to like Hope . . .

Hope and Stefano are in Gina's prison.
Hope: Dear God, this is what happened. See, Bo and I went with this magician named Ernesto on the Cruise of Deception, and he put me in this cage-
God: Hope, I'm omniscient. You don't have to sum up the past ten years for me. Now, I will try to help Bo get a clue, but it may take me a while, even for me. Okay?
Hope: Thanks. Hey, Stefano, I just prayed in your presence and you didn't go up in flames like demons are supposed to do.
Stefano: Well, if I had gone up in flames, we could have burned our way out of here through that wooden door. It's not like we have candles burning everywhere that we could use.
Hope: Well, we could still break through the wall.
Stefano: Sure, with a sledgehammer.
Hope: I guess I could use your head instead . . .
(She picks Stefano up, rams him through the wall, and is soon headed for Salem.)

MEANWHILE, some former associates of Stefano are (still) having their Christmas Eve dinner-at what I can no longer call the Kiriakisless Mansion.
Servant: I'm glad you're home, Mr. Kiriakis.
Victor: Thank you. You're a good friend. I respect you so much that I'm making you work on Christmas Eve. And it doesn't look like I got you a Christmas present, either.
Kate: That woman is usually as quiet as a mouse. You have a way with people, Victor.
Victor: Who doesn't, compared to you?
Kate:
(distracted) WHERE is Philip? I'm calling him. (does)
Victor: I don't care. He has to learn that he can't blackmail his father. Now, if he could just learn about blackmailing other people, he wouldn't have these money problems.
Kate:
(on phone) Is that you, Philip? You sound strange.
Philip:
(on phone, lying beaten in alley) It's just that I've been recast again. I'll be home soon. (He walks in, collapses, and is rushed to the hospital.)
Kate: Call a plastic surgeon!
Victor: Plastic surgery won't be necessary. He's my son, and he can deal with having scars on his face, just like I did. I won't have him being a spoiled brat like Lucas.
Philip: I'm sorry. It's just that I was out with the guys and got mugged.
Victor: Now I know you're lying. You have no "guys." You only ever hang out with your nephew Shawn-not-Douglas, and his family would never let him be anywhere but with them on Christmas Eve.
Doctor: Okay, we can remove the scars from his face, but he'll still look like an entirely different person from the one that was shopping in Salem Place this morning.
Kate: Funny, that.

MEANWHILE, the Hortons are awaiting Bo's response to Gina's proposal.
Bo: I'm usually not at a loss for words.
Doug: Yeah, it's not like he's Austin!
Gina: Bo, wait. Let me explain. I just want to be your wife.
Shawn-not-Douglas, I just want to be your mother.
(to Alice) I just want to be your granddaughter. (to Doug) I just want to be your daughter. (to Julie) I just want to be your half-sister and your step-daughter. Umm . . . how am I related to you?
Lucas: First cousins.
Gina: And I just want to be your cousin.
Bo: Hope, you've convinced me. I will marry you. Shawn-not-Douglas, I will do everything in my power to make sure that we will be a family again.
Shawn-not-Douglas:
(annoyed) Doesn't he realize I stopped asking for that after the last recast? (to Gina) But, Mom, I am willing to try to be just as stupid as Dad if that's what everyone wants from me.
(Sami and Austin arrive, bringing Will to spend Christmas with Lucas.)
Sami: Will, remember to leave sugar cookies for Santa.
(glaring at Lucas) SUGAR cookies!
Lucas: I think I can handle it. It's not like I'm Austin!
(The Hortons who are also Bradys, except Will, leave for the church.)
Doug: Now we can plan Hope's wedding. I will not miss giving her away like I did last time.
Julie: Actually, you were there to give her away last time. It's just that the wedding didn't go off because Bo was in bed with Billie.

MEANWHILE, the Bradys are at church.
Gina: We're gonna get married New Year's Eve! That's tomorrow, Salem time!
Marlena: NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!
John: What's up, Doc?
Marlena: I can't allow Bo to marry Hope. He's my one and only true love!
Gina: Fine. Hand over John. Or at least Roman.
Marlena: Sorry, I don't think so.
Gina: This is war!

End of Show
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