Friday, December 24, 1999

Hey everyone, happy Christmas Eve. I hope you have a great holiday tomorrow.

A depressed Hope spends her Christmas Eve with Stefano.
Hope: I miss my family so much. That's why, when I was around them, I flatly refused to spend any time with them because I wanted to find out about my missing years.

MEANWHILE, they're burning the midnight oil at Titan.
Vivian: Don't thank me, Victor, I'm doing my job.
Victor: But I feel I should thank you. You're obviously the only one is Salem who does do work.
Kate: Nicolas, you got me a stuffed toy? I haven't had one since I was ten!
(hiding stuffed platypus behind back) Gee, I haven't seen Splatters since I was ten, either. Really.
Victor: Kate, let's go home and have a nice, quiet evening. Just us and the servants I'm too mean to give one day off.

MEANWHILE, Craig still sits by Nancy's bedside.
Craig: (looking out the window at the falling snow) I think it's about to snow.
Chloe: Well, if that's the level of Craig's observational powers, it should be no trouble for me to sneak in and sing to Mom.
(she does)

Silent night, holy night.
Coma wards give me fright.
Father Francis went in and never came out.
Alive or dead, we were all left in doubt.
Please wake up now Mom, please.
Please wake up now Mom, please.

Silent night, holy night.
This hospital is not right.
Once declared dead, you can still be alive.
Marlena, Peter, and others survive.
Please wake up now Mom, please.
Please wake up now Mom, please.

MEANWHILE, the Hortons and Bradys have gathered elsewhere in the hospital.
Belle: Dad! You're bleeding. You're soaked with blood!
John: Thanks, I didn't notice.
(Noticing now, he takes care of the cut.)
Gina: Who are those people?
Doug: We're your parents.
Julie: But we don't find it at all odd that you don't recognize us. Where's Shawn-Douglas?
Shawn-not-Douglas: It's Shawn-not-Douglas now. You understand, right?
Doug: Um, sure. Completely.
(Walks away shaking his head.)
Hospitalized kids:

Dashing 'round the world
all year, more or less,
to France Hope will go
to become a princess!
Microchips in her brain
have made her not quite right
but no one saw the change
'cause Bo is not too bright!

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells,
Who is Hope today?
Oh how much fun we would have
If Gina went away-ay!

LATER, the Hortons celebrate with Alice.
Alice: Shawn-not-Douglas, you hung your ornament all the way over there. Don't you want to be near your parents?
Shawn-not-Douglas: Come on! I'm a teenager here. What do you think?
Alice: Okay. Hope, hang up your mother's ornament.
Lucas: How about my father's?
Alice: We'll be forgetting about Bill for this year. As well as Laura, if anyone's wondering.
Julie: My brother? My son? My grandson?
Alice: Sorry, no time for Steve, David, or Scotty, either. And no Tommy. No Marie. And neither of their daughters.
Doug: But everybody else? Okay, good enough.
Shawn-not-Douglas: I'm sorry if I seem obnoxious. But I can't get around my problems with my mother's identity. Dad, I don't know how you do it.
Bo: Better living through denial, son.
Gina: By the way, Bo, marry me!
(hurt) You could at least get down on your knees to propose to me. Hmph.

AND, the Bradys are celebrating too.
Marlena: Brady isn't here. He's well enough to play video games but not well enough to do homework.
Caroline: What kind of teacher gave him homework on Christmas Eve?
Marlena: Obviously the kind that they have at the school that's kept him so busy we haven't seen him since our wedding.
(entering with Nikki) Oh, hello. Nikki and I thought we'd join you.
Caroline: This is a family thing.
Belle: Um, Vivian's my Dad's aunt and Nikki is my first cousin.
Caroline: Dang. I guess we'll have to let them stay.
Shawn: We need more people, anyway. We're without Kim, Kayla, Drew, Jeannie, and Stephanie.
Caroline: Not to mention Eric, Sami, and Roman. Where the heck are they?
Shawn: We're also missing our adopted son Max-
(A Man In Black comes and wipes Shawn's memory. No one is supposed to remember Max.)
Caroline: Well, let's sing:

Hark, the Salem angel sings,
Salemites are ding-a-lings.
Bo can't tell that "Hope's" not Hope.
Watch him give in and elope.
Their niece with Austin is just vile;
Sami, Lucas, reconcile;
With angelic host proclaim:
Salem couples are a shame.
Hark, the Salem angel sings,
Salemites are ding-a-lings.

John: by various villains adored.
John, who's past is never sure.
Gina's sub took him away.
Now take Roman, he might stay.
Veiled in wig, Steffy can see
John once more his pawn shall be
But Gina ticked him off again.
Back to Salem John-Pawn went.
Hark, the Salem angel sings,
Salemites are ding-a-lings.

Hail, the fast-aged Salem kids.
Hail, that just Will didn't grow.
Soon, young Belle and Shawn will kiss.
Almost cousins; don't they know?
Belle's big brother disappeared
Might be like Eric, gone for years.
Mimi loves Shawn, hopes Belle shares
What a pity no one cares.
Hark, the Salem angel sings,
Salemites are ding-a-lings.

Caroline: Oh, I just got a call from Alice. She says that if ClayZebra is going to complain about her not putting ornaments on the tree for characters that haven't been seen since before she was born, she would like to point out that "adored" and "sure" is a pretty weak rhyme. So are "again" and "went" and "disappeared" and "years." Also, you really stretched the meter in "Silent Night." How many extra syllables did you think you could shove in there before we noticed?
ClayZebra: Um, sorry?
Caroline: Well, it's Christmas. We forgive you.

End of Show

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