|Friday, December 17, 1999
Well, I think it's about time for our first holiday edition of Friday's Synopsis. Line of the day has to go to Stefano's guy Bart: "Rolfsky, we're Stefano's mercenaries, too, but we don't get to sleep with beautiful women." (Couldn't work that into the synopsis so I put it up here.)
Victor is daydreaming at Titan.
Victor: (flashing back) Kate, you've made bad judgements. I'm calling all of the shots.
Kate: (flashback) Who are you to decide who calls the shots? You don't own Titan- wait, never mind.
Philip: Hi, Dad.
Victor: Philip! I was just going out to dinner.
Philip: With Mom? Are we gonna be a family again?
Victor: Sorry, you've aged ten years in the past few months. You really can't pull off that line.
Philip: But no one ever saw me when I was a baby. I'm the only Salem kid who never got to say that.
Victor: Suck it up and deal.
Philip: (whining) Vivian! Can I borrow $4500?
Vivian: Sure, I have that much in my pocket. But can I ask what it's for?
Philip: A girl's Christmas present.
Vivian: It's not at all inappropriate for a high school kid to spend that much on another high school kid for Christmas. There's absolutely no chance that her parents will tell her she can't accept it. So I have no reason to suspect that you're really using the money to pay off gambling debts.
Victor: Vivian! Did you just give my son money when I've told everyone not too and then promise not to tell me?
Vivian: I, um, thought it would keep me on your good side?
(They head to the Tuscany restaurant, where they see)
Kate: Every time I do something, like pay egregious salaries to my unqualified children or take a few months off to poke my nose in my children's lives or use the company's money to fly on a private jet or hire a thug, Vivian says I'm hurting the company.
Nikki: Well, how about you kiss a man younger than several of your children. That will improve your standing with Victor.
Kate: Good idea.
MEANWHILE, Craig and Nancy are on their way home from the orphanage. (Weren't they there at Thanksgiving?)
Nancy: Forgive me for keeping a promise.
Craig: I don't know if I can. You're the one who taught me to lie and cheat and scheme. It's very upsetting to hear you talking about things like keeping promises.
Nancy: Look, we'll stop at a restaurant and talk about this.
Craig: I'm not hungry. In fact, I'm gonna take my ball and go home. (He hops out of the car. Unfortunately, he was driving and Nancy is hurt when the car skids out of control.)
MEANWHILE, Gina-as-Hope and Stefano are at the DiMera Mansion.
Stefano: I could crush you like a grape! Hey, remember that time I put a melon in a guillotine and told John he was next? Do you think that that was more dramatic than this?
Gina/Hope: Just let go of me, Steffy. All I did was make fun of your beard.
Stefano: (sulkily) Well, you hurt my feelings. (a tear slips down his cheek) But remember, an autopsy will show that you are Gina Von Amburg, not Hope Williams.
Gina/Hope: Uh-huh. And no one thinks that your daughter Kristen was the one that died in the pool a few years ago.
Stefano: But what makes you think I will allow you to stay with Bo Brady?
Gina/Hope: I thought maybe there were things more important to you than my love life?
Stefano: Guess again.
MEANWHILE, Salem Place is always full of people.
Abe: Marlena, has Brandon called you for an appointment like he was supposed to?
Marlena: We've been swapping phone calls. First of all, I have no secretary, and second of all, as you know no one in Salem has a cell phone, so it's hard for us to get in touch.
Lexie: You are not objective about Brandon.
Marlena: Lexie, I get the feeling that you don't think Abe is objective about Brandon.
John: Doc is such a talented psychiatrist.
Abe: I just think Brandon is making Lexie believe he's something he's not. Lexie's naÔve.
John: Well, Gina made us all believe she was Hope, and that wasn't because we were naÔve.
Abe: It was because we're stupid.
Marlena: I wish we could just go back to Hawaii.
John: As soon as you get off work.
Lexie: You might have to START working before you can get OFF work, though.
Abe: But how did John survive in the water that long?
John: And more importantly, how was it that my pants washed up on shore for Doc to moan over but when I came back I was wearing a new pair of pants and no one noticed?
End of Show
Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only
and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under
copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me.
Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.