Wednesday, August 25, 1999

Todayís show begins with Austin and Sami in the Kiriakisless Mansion pool.
Austin: Iíll . . . always . . . love . . . Carrie . . . but . . . I . . . need . . . to . . . get . . . on . . . with . . . my . . . life. I . . . hope . . . you . . . like . . . being . . . a . . . substitute.
Sami: Oh, Austin, Iím so honored to be your second choice.
Austin: Carrie . . . made . . . me . . . feel . . . like . . . a . . . fool.
Sami: Iím sure it wasnít hard.
Austin: One . . . more . . . thing.
Sami: What?
Austin: How . . . can . . . you . . . swim . . . with . . . hair . . . that . . . long . . . without . . . tying . . . it . . . back?
Sami: Iíll just trick Kate into taking the five hours itíll take to comb it
out.

MEANWHILE, Austinís wife is with her father.
Roman: Youíll regret a divorce for the rest of your life. Havenít you noticed how much Marlena regrets divorcing me? That happily-married-to-her-lover thing is just a hoax.
Carrie: I love Mike. And Austin loves Sami.
Roman: Why do you say that? Just because heís taken her side over yours at every turn practically since they met? Just because heís filling a pool with flowers for her as we speak?

MEANWHILE, Carrieís plan to expose Ali is in full swing.
Ali: (into Mikeís tape recorder) Mike, when I went to bed with you, I knew I was a candidate for the nursing job. Nothing you said was out of line, I just wanted to hurt you because you fell in love with Carrie and not me.
Mike: Who helped you?
Ali: Just because Iím crazy as a loon, you think I couldnít work out a plan like that on my own?
(pause) Are you mad, just because I ruined your job and reputation and extorted three million dollars from a hospital thatís been affiliated with your family since the beginning of time?
Mike: Iím so mad I canít speak.
Ali: Oh no! Carrie likes men who canít get out a coherent sentence.
Mike: But, Iíll be happy when Iím cleared.
(rewinds tape and plays confession) Amazing how I taped hours of conversation but managed to rewind to the relevant portion on the first try. Also amazing that the recorder didnít run out of tape.
Ali: Thatís why I love you.

MEANWHILE, you didnít really think weíd get through a show without a trip to Paris, did you?
Stefano: I know Bo has been arrested, but heíll do the honorable thing.
Gina/Hope: Which is?
Stefano: Not tell his true love how he feels until after the baby is born and no one is mortally ill and no one has amnesia.
Gina/Hope: How can you be so sure of yourself?
Stefano: My dear Gina, if you could brainwash people on a whim, youíd be sure of yourself, too. But if youíre worried, you can pick Bo up at the station.
(she does)
Cop: Your husband canít communicate. He seems to be in some kind of trance. Is he on drugs?
Gina/Hope: No, heís just a Brady.
Cop:
(understanding) Oh.
(Gina/Hope takes Bo home, and Stefano lets him out of his trance.)
Bo: (staggering) What happened? Iíve lost hours!
Gina/Hope: You fell asleep.
Bo: On my feet?! For half a day? Youíre lying. Iím outta here.
Gina/Hope: No. Stay with me. Iím scared.
Bo: You expect me to believe youíre scared?
Gina/Hope: It works for Greta.

MEANWHILE, Bo is a cause for concern at Marlenaís penthouse.
Belle: "Exhume?" Does that mean what I think it does?
John: Probably not. Kids who skip from kindergarten to high school in one year usually miss a lot of vocabulary lessons.
Belle:
(still psyched) Eric and Greta are digging up Ginaís body! Cool!
Marlena: NOT cool.
Belle: Mom, this isnít a horror movie. There isnít gonna be a bloodbath. Itís not like some madman has kidnapped or "killed" every member of Ericís family at some point.
John: France is a dangerous place for Eric, especially since Bo told him he was too busy to help him. Which means Bo is in danger. And Iím going to France to help them.
Marlena: Your going to France is out of the question. Just because you raised Eric as your son and Greta as your daughter and call Bo your brother doesnít mean you have a responsibility to them.
(whining) Canít we send Roman instead? All heís doing is bugging Carrie, and no one would miss him if Stefano knocked him off.
John: Marlena. I have a loving wife and daughter to come back to, so I will come back. If negotiations go well, I may even have a son to come back to one of these days. Donít worry.
(jumping into phone booth and spinning rapidly)
ITíS SUPER JOHN TO THE RESCUE!

End of Show
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