Tuesday, August 10, 1999

Stefano turns Bo into his new pawn.
Stefano: This is my ultimate rrrevenge on the Brrradys! Their good son will be my avengerrr!
Gina/Hope: Actually, I think Roman was the good son and Bo was the rebel son.
Stefano: Well, too late to switch now. Bo had been improved.
Gina/Hope: Goody! He looks like Robert Kelker-Kelly again?
Stefano: No. But heíll do anything you say.
Gina/Hope: Hey, Brady, go wash the dishes!
(Bo does.) Thanks, Steffy, Bo will be much easier to live with now. (She reverts completely to Hope and takes off for Salem with her toy in tow.)

MEANWHILE, elsewhere in France:
Kurt: Go away, this castle is, um, haunted, yeah, thatís the ticket, haunted!
Eric: I know you donít want us here.
Kurt: How did you deduce that, genius?
(Kurt stalks off to make "haunting" noises from behind the wall.)
Greta: I lived alone in the Bayou for years and years, covered with mud and talking to animals, but now Iím afraid of a fake wolf howl and a mouse. Hold me, Eric.

MEANWHILE, Ericís twin is back in Salem.
Sami: Will, youíre a great swimmer. Austin has taught you everything he knows.
Will: In that case, donít ever take these floats away, please.
Austin: Carrie . . . why . . . are . . . you . . . here?
Carrie: I thought we were married?
Austin: Thatís . . . no . . . reason . . . for . . . me . . . to . . . be . . . decent . . . to . . . you.
Carrie: You also werenít decent to me when you claimed to love me and married my sister. On second thought, why AM I here?

MEANWHILE, the hospital is in an uproar.
Claire: Craig, Nancy, whatís wrong? You canít possibly be mad that I double-crossed you by taking the money and letting Mike keep his job.
Craig: Nope, that canít be it.
Claire: Well, since you two are joined at the hip--
Nancy: Weíre married.
Craig: But weíre in Salem, thatís why itís strange.
Claire: Anyway, come up with your own plan to hurt Mike.
Craig: This WAS our plan, until you horned in.
Nancy: Never mind. Itís over. Spit on the fire and call the dogs.
Craig: I understand that Days wants to keep its G-rating, but you really canít put out a fire by spitting on it.

MEANWHILE, yet another sibling of Sami and Eric is at home in the penthouse.
Belle: Dad, Iím glad you survived your honeymoon. Youíre such a hero; look how many times you saved Mom from Stefano. Of course, if youíd been paying more attention, maybe she wouldnít have been kidnapped so many times in the first place.
John: Listen, Izzy--
Belle: Izzy!? Well, okay, but some of your longer-term fans are going to be on the warpath if you call me Izzy-B.
John: Izzy-B? Who was that?
Belle: Maybe youíll remember if and when my brother Brady shows up again. I, of course, remember because Iím old enough to have been in Salem at the same time as Isabella Toscano Black.
John: Speaking of people you know, who will be at the party tonight?
Belle: Kids from school. Why are you so worried?
John: Because at least have of the kids in Salem were fathered by Stefano.
(And the other half were fathered by me . . .)
Belle: Dad, I couldnít stay your little girl forever.
John: Or even, apparently, for five years, Princess.
Belle: Princess? Carrie is Pumpkin, Sami is Peanut, Greta is French Cabbage, and Iím Princess? How did I luck out like that?
John: Never mind. Go get dressed for your party.
(She does.)
Belle: Dad? Do I look too girly?
John: Actually, you look completely slutty.
(misty eyes) Just like Carrie and Sami at that age.

End of Show
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