Friday, August 6, 1999

Our story begins in Stefanoís Parisian hideout.
Stefano: Rolf, you have put-done yourself with this contraption. The curling iron that brainwashed Laura was good, but this dentistís chair that will turn Bo into a mercenary is brilliant!
Rolf: You will never get to Bo Brady. He has decided to think lately.
Stefano: Ah, but he is still a Brady and therefore far too easy to manipulate.

MEANWHILE, Bo confronts Gina/Hope.
Gina/Hope: Iím Hope!
Bo: Sorry. Iíve recently grown a brain, and I know thatís not true.
Gina/Hope: Youíre right! Hope is gone, and good riddance!
Bo: She couldnít have had the grace to do this before I threw away my relationship with Billie . . .
Gina/Hope: Iím not Hope.
Bo: But do you remember Shawn-Dís birth?
Gina/Hope:
(seeing photo and flashback) Thatís not Hope. She weighs slightly more than her new baby and you can actually see her face over her breasts.

MEANWHILE, the sexual harassment hearing is winding up.
Reporter: Doctor Carver! Give us a story!
Lexie: Dammit, Reporter! Iím a doctor, not a publicist!
(inside)
Ali: Stop listening to everyone elseís testimony! Listen to me!
Judge: This is perfectly acceptable behavior.
Mickey: Okay, I have a few questions.
Ali: Shoot.
(Mickey pulls out a gun and attempts to end the whole problem, but even this judge decides that thatís against the rules and insists that Mickey continue without props.)
Mickey: Now, this negligee you waved at us.
Ali: Yes.
Mickey: Where can I get one like it for Maggie?
Ali: Just make your point.
Mickey: Ali McIntire never claimed to feel harassed by Mike Horton until long after the completion of their romantic relationship and elevation of a more experienced nurse to the coveted head nurse position. By all accounts, it was Ali who pursued Mike. Mike did not even know that Ali was a candidate for the head nursing job until after they spent their only night together. Ali is suing for revenge and money; she was never harassed; she is simply upset that Mike did not love her.
Ali: Did Mickey Horton just give a strong closing argument, or am I have another one of my hallucinations?

MEANWHILE, today Belle is twenty-five years old! No, sheís still fifteen, and chatting with Marlena.
Marlena: Belle, you know your father.
Belle: I guess so. Although I have this funny feeling, like I met him for the first time yesterday. But speaking of things I know, have you heard the latest about Carrieís and Mikeís affair?
Marlena: How do you know about that?
Belle: Itís been going on since I was a little girl.
Marlena: Well, what about your sister Sami?
Belle: Great news! She moved into the Kiriakisless Mansion Guest House with Austin!
Marlena: Why would anyone other than Sami think thatís great news?
Belle: Well, itís good for her because Austin is hot!
(overvoice) Austin is too good for my sister. Iíll get him away from her. Iíve done too much to stop now.
Marlena: We need to have a Talk.
Belle: We had the Talk a few years ago, remember? Well, you talked, I didnít say much, since I wasnít old enough to talk until yesterday.
Marlena: We can talk about anything youíd like when we go shopping. But no baggy clothes, understand? I want you wearing tight clothes that show off your waist and your plastic boobs. Hey, did I but you your first set of plastic boobs yet?
Belle: What are you getting at?
Marlena: I just want you to focus on life. I donít want you to be a gossipy bubblehead like you obviously are.

End of Show
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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.
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