|Monday, July 26, 1999
Welcome to Mondayís synopsis! But first: Iím far in remiss in my thanks to everyone who sends (or posts, since most people who read these get them off the AOL or Coffeerooms Message Boards) me feedback on these synopses. So thank you. I love hearing that you like them and what you like about them. And I loved having people sympathize with me last week when the state of Pennsylvania finally decided to challenge my longstanding assumption that the speed limit was a suggestion. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, on with the show.
Mike is in his office, although not, of course, doing work.
Mike: Lexie, do I have the support of the hospital staff?
Lexie: Many of the doctors and nurses are behind you.
Mike: Many? Not all? (sulks) Donít they know that Iím a Horton and therefore perfect and they should all love me?
Mickey: (arriving) Mike, time to work on your case. Not that it will do much good considering your choice in lawyers, but, oh well.
(Nearby, Ali informs her voodoo doll that now it knows she isnít crazy after all.)
MEANWHILE, Austin barges into Carrieís office.
Austin: We . . . need . . . to . . . talk.
Carrie: (whining) But Austin! Itís so hard to talk to someone who needs you to speak slowly and use one-syllable words.
Austin: You . . . can . . . move . . . back . . . to . . . the . . . apartment.
Carrie: Oh, you mean the apartment thatís half mine anyway? Thank you for giving me permission. My name is probably also on the lease of the apartment across the hall where Eric was living until he took off for Paris. But Iíve been living in the Salem Hotel. Well, thanks for your generosity.
MEANWHILE, Stefano thinks Vivianís been faking her illness.
Nikki: Call the hospital!
Stefano: No, call the Salem Theater and tell them youíve found the perfect
Blanche DuBois for their next performance of A Streetcar Named Desire.
Vivian: (weakly) I have always depended on the stupidity of Salemites.
Lexie: (arriving) Stefano, Vivian really is dying.
Stefano: If you say so. I donít expect my own flesh and blood to lie. Why, I canít imagine.
MEANWHILE, Eric and Greta are at a Paris restaurant, where Greta orders in French, despite the fact that her accent is even worse than the accents of Stefanoís midgets who live under the city. Hey, think weíll get to see them again?
Eric: Itís a good thing Billie let us borrow this compact to find your mother, even though she guarded it with her life when Hope wanted to borrow it for exactly the same purpose.
Greta: (to compact) Mirror, Mirror, on vacation, what might be my motherís location?
Eric: Hey, a key just fell into your lap.
Greta: Funny how it stayed in place when it burned with Maison Blanche and when Celeste saved it and when Hope dropped it in the Bayou and when Billie dug it up and carried it around and cat-fought for it with Hope and when Hope had it knocked to the bottom of the water under the pier and fished it out but as soon as I touch the compact it falls into my lap.
MEANWHILE, Hope/Gina is in Ginaís Paris home.
Gina: (recalling Johnís statement that the key to their safe deposit box is in the compact) So Iíll learn more about our past by opening that box. About which I just had a flashback informing me that I canít open it. (sees Bo) Bo! I told you not to follow me.
Bo: Cíest la vie.
Gina: La vie. Now leave.
Bo: Donít you want to hear about John and Marlenaís honeymoon? I was there.
Gina: I didnít know you were into that.
Bo: Well, if you donít want to talk about them, we can talk about Shawn-D. Heís homesick. Hates boarding school. Wants to come home, probably with a different face.
Gina: Why is he in school in July, anyway?
Bo: Obviously stupid, like the rest of the Brady men.
End of Show
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