Monday, July 5, 1999

Forgive the typos. Blame them on the lack of air conditioning.

Half of Salem is already at the church, awaiting John and Marlenaís wedding.
Maggie: Now, Belle and Brady, as the flower girl and the ring bearer, youíll have to learn how do walk down the aisle. Iíll teach you, since Iím sure you wonít remember from the last time your parents tried to get married, or from the times your Dad tried to marry Kristen, or from Susan and Edmundís wedding, or from Samiís or Carrieís weddings to Austin, or from Bo and Hopeís
most recent almost wedding.
Mickey: Wow, Austin, donít weddings bring up a lot of memories? Especially for those of us who have been married upwards of ten times?
Austin: Uh shut uh up.
(arriving) Look! Itís Lexie and me! We still live in Salem!
Sami: Mom, Iím not used to these high heels.
Marlena: I canít imagine why. Every woman on this show wears high heels in just about every scene. Wait, whatís that behind you? Is that a bouquet of flowers bigger than you are? I didnít see it before. I can use the bracelet in the flowers as something new. My charm bracelet is old, and my dress is blue. But what can I borrow?
Sami: Well, thereís my gun that killed Franco . . . no . . . a vial of drugs that you can use to get someone into bed . . . no . . . Willís rattle that helped us find him when he was kidnapped, no thanks to you since you didnít even recognize him when you saw him in Paris . . . no . . . my crutches from when I faked paralysis . . . no . . . how about this cross that I made out of matchsticks when I was on death row?
Marlena: Iíll wear it next to my heart.
(Carrie, Eric, and Roman arrive.)
Marlena: Wow! Itís my whole family that I threw away to be with John together again.
Roman: Hell, weíve been through a damn lot together, Duck.
Eric: I wasnít here. I was in Colorado.
Sami: Well, I was here, but you sure werenít, Dad.
Roman: Hell! Stop with the damn semantics.
Marlena: I want to thank you for these wonderful children, two of whom were spitting in Johnís and my faces up until yesterday.
Roman: Duck, Duck, Duck.
All: Goose.
Roman: Damn! Hell, I just wanna tell you youíll always have a place in my heart.
(arriving) Outta here, Roman! Time for my wedding!

SLIGHTLY EARLIER, at the hospital.
Carrie: Itíll be weird to be with my family but be an outcast. Mom and Grandma and sweet sister Sami never disregarded marriage vows the way I have.
Craig: Carrie, Mike are you ready for the wedding? Nancy and I are!
Nancy: Although we arenít sure who the hell invited us.
(singsong) Carrie is a who-ore! Carrie is a who-ore!
Craig: (screaming) Ali, you have to pass that psych test! Your life is over if you donít. I HOPE NO ONE HEARS THIS! No pressure, though.
Nancy: You know sheís not playing with a full deck.
(arriving) Whoever could they possibly be talking about? Surely not the woman my son told me was insane, because Mike canít possible be right about anything. He ignored marriage vows. Which I would never do. Especially not, hypothetically, with my husbandís brother.
(They head off to the wedding; Ali is left alone.)
Ali: Carrieís gonna get it.
(stabs a voodoo Barbie doll)

MEANWHILE, Carrie collapses in pain.

MEANWHILE, John collapses in pain when Hope/Gina flashes the mirror in his face.

Hope/Gina: Hmm. John and Carrie collapsed as a result of magical mind tricks at the exact same second. They must really be father and daughter! John is Roman Brady! Then Iím not interested in him.
(She goes off and never bothers John or Marlena or their children again.)

MEANWHILE, at the Kiriakisless Mansion.
Kate: You! Out of my house!
Nicole: You canít kick him out. Heís my brother.
Kate: Heís your brother? He looks nothing like you or Taylor. His skin isnít even the same color as yours. Stop lying to me and get rid of him.
Brandon: Why did you marry Lucas if you donít love him and you hate his mother?
(entering) Hey, Nicole. I brought you some emeralds.
Brandon: Oh, I see.

End of Show
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