Tuesday, June 29, 1999

Gina/Hope and Stefano are planning to destroy the upcoming wedding.
Stefano: Gina, stop smoking. Donít you know the danger of second-hand smoke? Just because brain tumors and exploding cars and collapsing tunnels in Paris and falls from penthouse roofs wonít kill me doesnít mean your smoking wonít.

MEANWHILE, Eric is having a bad day.
Eric: Hey, Nicole, spending Lucasís money? Yeah, why not spend his money?
Nicole: We finally agree on something. This is my money now and I can spend it as I please.
Eric: Uh, I was being sarcastic.
Nicole: In that case, youíre wrong.
Eric: No, Iím not. I was wrong when I thought you had some integrity.
Nicole: Thatís not "wrong." Thatís "stupid."
Eric: Just for treating me like that, Iím going to rip up the magazine on this newsstand rack. This will demonstrate what a mature, thinking guy I am.

MEANWHILE, nearby, at Salem Place.
Mike: Mom! I see you arenít dead!
Laura: Nope, it seems that Iím not.
Mike: Donít worry about that lawsuit. ANY PSYCHIATRIST will be able to tell that Ali is unstable.
Laura: She doesnít seem that way to me.
Mike: Oh, how would you know?
Laura: Iím not going to argue with you.
Mike: Yes you are.
Laura: No Iím not.
Mike: Yes you are.
Laura: No Iím not.
Mike: Yes you are.
Laura: No Iím not.
Mike: Do you regret YOUR affair?
Laura: Mike, Iím as pure as the driven snow. Donít confuse me with the facts.

MEANWHILE, Mike is also a topic at the hospital.
Nancy: We may not be able to pull of this scandal. Carrie does very good damage control.
Craig: You know youíre stupid when Carrie Reed is a worthy adversary. But sooner or later, sheíll find out he slept with Ali for real.
Nancy: And she wonít keep controlling damage then. Itís not like itís her job or anything. Itís not like she was willing to do public relations work for the half-sister she hates, with good reason.
Claire: Well, this is all irrelevant. I just want to protect the privacy of my daughter Ali. Thatís why I had the hospital and Mike served with legal papers behind her back and am always telling you two her secrets.
Nancy: Speaking of secrets, who do you suppose wrote "Carrie is a whore," on the bathroom door?
Claire: Sami Brady, of course.
(arriving) Couldnít be! My daughter is a good girl this week!
Craig: Marlena isnít actually doing rounds today, is she?
Nancy: Does she ever?

MEANWHILE, John spends his wedding morning having breakfast with Sami.
John: Donít tell Belle and Brady I stole their stash of Crispy-Os.
Sami: I wonít. Let them scrounge for what they can get in the Brady Pub attic, like the rest of the Brady grandchildren did.
John: Are you worried about something?
Sami: Well, Hope said that she was going to use her compact to flash a light in your face and then demagnetize a chip in your brain so youíd remember your life with Gina and Greta in 1985 and run off with her, leaving Mom at the altar. What could she have meant by something as abstract as that?
John: I dunno.
Sami: Iím also worried about Carrie standing up at your wedding. Itís so hypocritical to stand up at a wedding when youíre a home-wrecking, affair-having young woman.
John: Uh, Samantha? What have you been doing for the past five years?
(I canít be sure, as you havenít talked to me that whole time.)
Sami: That was Sami. Ever since I got off death row, Iíve been Samantha. I am now a Good Girl
(trademark), fit to have a happy relationship with Austin once Carrie leaves town.
Both: Blech!

End of Show
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