May 17th 1999

It was actually frightening how few lines of today’s show jumped out at me as being unbelievably stupid. But here goes a synopsis anyway . . .

Sami has faked unconsciousness to get out of her jail cell. Luckily, the woman guarding her has not been trained to deal with being jumped from behind by a prisoner, and Sami disarms her. Even more luckily, she happens to look just like Sami and passes for her when Sami places her in the bed. Most luckily of all, the prison doctor has been trained at the Mike "gee, he looked dead to me" Horton school of medicine and he inspects "Sami" only by shaking her shoulder to see if she’ll wake up. Sami escapes.

MEANWHILE, Alice and Mike are at the hospital.
Mike: Lucas married Nicole Walker? Another man’s fiancee?
Alice: He cares for her very deeply.
Mike: Oh. That makes it okay.
Alice: But it is not okay for you to commit adultery with Carrie Reed. I mean, you and Lucas were both the result of happily married parents.
Mike: Huh?
Alice:
(ignoring him) You will slander the good name of the Horton family.
Mike: You never said that to my mom, or to Jack.
Alice: You’ve committed adultery. They were only convicted of murder.
(Mike takes off to find Carrie.)
Carrie: Go away, Mike. I’m trying to repair my marriage and Austin seeing you with me doesn’t help either of us or our marriage.
Mike: No. I know what you’re going through, and I know you want me to leave, but I love you so much that I won’t take your thoughts into consideration when deciding on my actions.
Carrie: Wow. Mike is as good a man as Austin.

MEANWHILE, Lucas and Kate are hanging out with Will at the Kiriakisless Mansion.
Lucas: Mommy, I want a good job at Titan.
Kate: Anything for my children.
Lucas: Mommy, I want full custody of Will.
Kate: Anything for my children.
Lucas: Mommy, I want to marry Eric Brady’s insane fiancee.
Kate: Anything for my children.
Lucas: Mommy, I want Sami taken off death row.
Kate: No. I’ll do anything for my children but save the life of a woman sentenced to death for something she didn’t do.
Lucas: You’re the meanest Mommy in the whole wide world!
Kate: As long as you’re mad at me anyway, please answer my questions about the wedding.
Lucas: Oh, Nicole looked beautiful, especially in the candlelight, although things got a little dicey when her veil fell into one of the candles and caught on fire. We were afraid her face would be scarred and she’d have to wear another veil to hide the scars for the rest of her life, but that seemed cliché, so we were glad when the fire was put out and we could finish the wedding. Then we came home. And Nicole is moving in tonight. We didn’t even consider getting our own home, since when Billie and Austin got married they left you alone in this big mansion. Plus, it will be easier for you to manipulate Nicole if she’s here.
Kate: Good boy.

End of Show
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