March 9th 1999

Here it is- Tuesday's exciting episode of Days of Our Lives, with just a few minor improvements.

At the hospital.
Mike: Lex, I'm afraid that there's a whole other side to Ali that I never noticed.
Lexie: That's impossible, Mike. Character isn't a multifaceted thing; people are all good or all bad. Maybe Ali is twins, a good one and an evil one?
Mike: We could check into that. Craig wants to fire her, though, even though I think she should have another chance after messing up in surgery the other day.
Lexie: This is a hospital. With peoples' lives at stake, she shouldn't have another chance. I mean, if you couldn't tell that Peter Blake or Stefano DiMera wasn't really dead, you wouldn't keep your job, would you?
Mike: I have to get ready for that convention in L.A. now, so I can't worry about hospital business.
Lexie: Is Carrie going, too? I know that she isn't a doctor and has no reason to go to a medical convention, but it might be a good opportunity for some manufactured sexual tension.
Mike: Good idea.
(sees Ali) Ali, I'm so sorry for reprimanding you just because you did a little thing like pay no attention during surgery and almost kill someone. (leaves)
(arriving) Ali, you deserve an Oscar for that wounded act you put on with Mike.
Ali: I wasn't acting. This is Days of Our Lives. I could get fired for doing something like acting on an award-winning level.
Craig: Your problem is that you're passive, just like your Mom says. When Mike tells you that he isn't interested, you just understand instead of stalking him or sneaking into his bed or something.

MEANWHILE, Stefano is worried about Viv's "impending death."
Stefano: Is this serious? Well, it's more serious than the time I tried to cut John's head off with a guillotine, anyway. That was hilarious. This is just silly.
(arriving) Madame, I just heard. What am I to do without you? I guess I could tag along after Celeste, waiting on her and worshipping her while she ignores me . . .
Stefano: Vivian, this crystal that I bought for fifty cents in a tourist trap gift shop has healing powers and it may save your life.
Vivian: See how much he loves me?

MEANWHILE, Sami has called Roman.
Roman: (on phone) I know you're on the run with your three-year-old and are scheduled to be executed if you're caught, but other than that, how are you doing?
Sami: I'm trying not to get caught. That's why I'm calling my father on a cell phone when cell phone signals are notoriously easy to intercept.
(on phone) You know, you have the support of your family. That's why we never showed up at your trial.
Sami: I know. Bye.
(to Will) Will, you're such a good boy. You haven't complained once.
Will: Largely because I can't talk.
Tracey: Sami, do you still love Austin?
Sami: I always will.
Helpless Viewers: NOOOOOOO! No, not that again, pleeeeaaaaassssssee!

MEANWHILE, Kate is watching Eric and Billie as they await Austin.
Kate: I'll get Austin to tell me where Sami is hiding, even though I'm one of the ones he's hiding her from. That makes sense.
(to phone) Are you okay? I'm waiting for you. So is Eric. Good, I'm glad you're okay. (to Eric) Eric, it's Austin, and he's okay.
Eric: Thanks for clearing that up.
Roman: Carrie, Austin isn't going to show up. I'll drive you back to the hospital.
Carrie: Not thanks. I'll walk and use the time to think. It's not like I have any work to get done anyway.
(on phone) Uhh . . . is . . . uhh . . . Carrie . . . uhh . . . there?
(on phone) Hi, this is the chief of staff answering the main hospital phone line. And Carrie isn't here. I wonder who could want her who has "uhh" as every other word out of his mouth?

End of Show
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