December 16, 1998

At the hospital, Ali runs into Craig.
Craig: Remember when I tried to beat Mike out of the COS job and you and all the other nurses were on to my dirty tricks? Well, that didn't work, so now I'll tell you that Mike wants Carrie but you should throw yourself at him and do things he has repeatedly asked you not to do.
Ali: You're just trying to cause trouble.
Craig: Why would you think that?
Ali: I don't know. Look, Mike is just over-worked. He didn't know that people in Salem could actually have jobs, since his family and friends never went to theirs.

MEANWHILE, Sami's trial continues.
DA: Doesn't the jury think Miss Brady seems violent?
Sami: HEY, I AM NOT VIOLENT , YOU STUPID JERK!!!
(Throws a chair at him.)
Mickey: You're playing right into his hand.
Sami: How?
Mickey: Look at what I have to work with. No wonder I haven't won a case in 25 years.
DA: Carrie Reed to the witness stand.
bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Carrie: I'll wait until Sami gets her memory back, and then I'll tell the truth.
DA: Huh?
Carrie: Sorry, old script. I do.
DA: So, was your sister upset when she saw her fiancéís body? Did she throw herself on the body?
Carrie: No, because she was semiconscious and in shock and his body was being removed.
DA: See? That proves she shot him. But, Mrs. Reed, then what did your sister say?
Carrie: She said "You bastard, you deserved to die!"
crowd: We heard that phrase when Austin testified a few minutes ago, but let's murmur anyway.
DA: Mrs. Reed, do you think your sister is capable of murder?
judge: Mrs. Reed, this court DEMANDS that the witness SPECULATE! That is how this works, right?
Carrie: Maybe.
Roman: Mickey, we're counting on you to pull this one out.
Mickey: Say goodbye to your daughter now.
Roman: I'd better call John.
(he does)
John:
(on phone) What's up, Roman?
Roman:
(on phone) The woman you raised as your daughter is upset because the other woman you raised as your daughter just testified that she might be capable of murder, and the second daughter is pretty upset herself.
John:
(on phone, distracted) These women matter to me why? Call you later.
Roman:
(on phone) Don't worry, we'll make those DiMeras pay for what they did to the Bradys and to those poor, defenseless Alamains who are into innocent pursuits like raping and kidnapping and burying people alive.

MEANWHILE, John's distraction was caused by a hot air balloon containing Stefano, Vivian, Ivan, Celeste, and a minister.
Ivan: Stefano, you drugged us!
Stefano: How could I drug you when I'm all the way on the other side of the balloon?
Vivian: Let's get on with the wedding- see, I even put in my special extensions that are nowhere close to the color of my natural hair.
minister: Blah, blah, blah, you're married. Here's some birdseed to throw to the birds- why are you throwing it at JOHN?
Vivian: Oh, I keep forgetting. It's not that he's a bird, he's just a bird brain.
John:
(below) VIVIAN! Hey, who are you?
man: Your secretary said to bring you these papers.
John:
(sinking to the ground in shock) Oh no . . . these papers . . . they proove . . .
man: What?
John:
(weakly) I have a secretary! And a JOB!
All: Huh?

End of Show
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