December 7, 1998

The show begins at the hospital.
Austin: We . . . have . . . changed.
Carrie: Well, you haven't changed so much, Duh-Boy. You're still pretty stupid. But I've gone from being a spineless whining martyr who wouldn't stand up to her little sister to an unforgiving person about to cheat on the husband that a few months ago she was swearing was her one true love.
Austin: Yeah . . . remember . . . what . . . we . . . . went . . . through . . . to . . . get . . . married.
Carrie: As I recall, it was Sami's fault?
Austin: Sami . . . is . . . great . . . isn't . . . she?
Carrie: I've decided we shouldn't have a baby for a few more months. I'm not sure your genes should be passed on to future generations.

MEANWHILE, Mike is still trying to break up with Ali.
Mike: I don't love you and I won't date you. I'm sorry.
Ali: Loving someone means never having to say you're sorry. I saw this movie called Love Story-
Mike: Yeah, the one where the woman who says that DIES! What a good idea.

MEANWHILE, Hope is becoming Gina in Alice's living room.
Hope: I don't want to get in trouble. That's why I'm planning to go running around Europe pretending to be someone I'm not.
Alice: I've always said that you and Bo were destined to be together, but then I say that about a lot of people.
Hope: We were apart for four years.
Alice: And those years were hell for Bo! He raised his son, and nearly married Carly, and nearly married Billie back when she was a sympathetic character and looked like Lisa Rinna . . .

MEANWHILE, Bo and Shawn-Douglas are making plans for Hope.
Shawn-D: I wanna be a family again.
Bo: I plan to marry your mother before you have grandchildren.
Shawn-D: I wanna be a family again.
Bo: But before I marry your mother, I have to woo her.
Shawn-D: I wanna be a family aga- hey, what kind of word is "woo"?
Bo: The kind a rebellious, leather-wearing, motorcycle riding person like me uses. Doesn't that make sense?

MEANWHILE, Lucas is watching TV.
Lucas: Oh no! They interrupted my favorite soap to tell me that Sami could die for killing Franco. And my soap was just getting good, too, it was so exciting because- actually, it wasn't exciting at all. Maybe I'll just head to the courthouse. I hope I don't get arrested for driving with a suspended license while I'm attempting to confess to a murder.

MEANWHILE, the trial is underway.
DA: . . . and we will tell you of Miss Brady's subsequent confession. Saying "the bastard deserved it" is exactly the same as saying "I did it."
Mickey: Now, er, um, I think Miss Brady is innocent.
Marlena: The jury was very impressed, Mickey.
(under breath) By the DA . . .
DA: The state calls Austin Reed. Please state your name for the court.
Austin: I was told this would be multiple choice. Umm . . .
DA: This could take a while.

End of Show
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