|December 4, 1998
John is alone and praying.
John: Dear lord, please protect Marlena and Sami.
Greta scuffles in.
Greta: You always could sense my presense, even if you only saw me or heard me.
John: Could you tell me more about the past?
Greta: Aren't you needed elsewhere?
John: No. Vivian's in the hospital and Sami's at her trial and you should never be with your aunt when she's in the hospital or you stepdaughter when she's on trial. And it's not like I have other kids I could be taking care of.
MEANWHILE, there's a disagreement at the Kiriakisless Mansion.
Kate: If you keep "supporting" Sami, you will drive Carrie into Mike's arms.
Austin: I'm not driving Carrie anywhere. I think my car's broken. I push down really hard on the brake but it won't move.
Kate: Well, at least be nice to your brother.
Austin: Lucas could patch things up with Sami if he tried. It's not like she would choke him if he sympathized with her about her trial or she would lie about him hitting Will.
Lucas: Oh, no! Here comes that awful violin music! I'm going to have another flashback to shooting Franco, aren't I? (he does) Yup. (Kate and Austin leave for the trial.) I need a distraction. Hey! We actually have TV in Salem. This is great.
MEANWHILE, Carrie and Nancy are at Salem Place, where they spy on Mike and Ali.
Mike: Ali, I don't see a future for us.
Ali: Oh, you just don't have the gift. We'll get Celeste over here with her cards, and then you can see . . .
Mike: I'm dumping you. I don't want to date you. We're history.
Ali: What are you saying?
Carrie: (nearby) Nancy, Mike and Ali are none of our business. That's why I'm staring at them.
Nancy: Not to mention talking about them.
Carrie: I have to get to work. And away from you.
Nancy: I'll go with you to get away from me.
Carrie: Don't you have to get to the coursthouse?
Nancy: Yeah. I'm sure no one will mind that I spent the morning with a woman and the afternoon as a juror at her sister's trial.
Carrie: And I have to discuss some things with Mike.
Nancy: Chiefs-of-staff never so anything but talk to their PR people.
MEANWHILE, Stefano is desperate to get to Vivian as he talks on the phone to Rolf.
Rolf: Zat prozedure will eraze all zuh information from zuh chip.
Stefano: I know, Rrrrrrrolf! (gets pulled over for speeding) Just write the ticket!
cop: I'm on the Salem police force. I have trouble with this writing thing. Don't dispute the ticket.
Stefano: I'm sure I couldn't. I can be pardoned from hundreds of murders and kidnappings, but I can't get out of a ticket.
MEANWHILE, Sami is getting ready for her trial.
Sami: Eric, how could you bring Candy here? She's the reason my life is over. Not the fact that I've been blackmailing, lying, raping, and manipulating half this town since I was fifteen and everyone hates me and is out to get me.
Candy: I really am sorry. I hope you don't fry for what you did. The gas chamber is much more dramatic. Just ask John.
(everyone gets to the courtroom)
Caroline: I'm so worried about Sami.
Shawn: Why's that?
Caroline: If she goes to prison, we'll never get Will out of the Pub even once in a while.
DA: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I know that when you look at Samantha Brady, you do not see a murderer. You see a sweet face and long flowing hair, someone who seems like your own daughter or neighbor or niece or sister or granddaughter.
Nancy: Actually, she is related to several of my husband's co-workers.
juror2: Looking at her face, I have to admit that I'm Marlena's believed-dead son DJ, and Sami's older brother! I can't send her to her death.
juror3: I'm in love with DJ. I have to vote with him.
juror4: Long, long ago, my child was switched with another one. Sami might be my daughter. I can't let her die.
juror5: And I had an affair with juror4; she might be my child.
juror6: I slept with juror4, too. I can't take any chances.
juror7: And I'm Marlena's presumed-dead twin sister- Sami is my niece-she's even named after me.
juror8: I have a connection to John Black's past, and he did raise Sami as his own . .
otherjurors: I'm connected to John's past, too!
alljurors: We acquit Sami!!
DA: These stupid Salem coincidences . . .
End of Show
Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only
and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under
copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me.
Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.