December 3, 1998

At the hospital:
Mike: I'm going to move on with Ali.
Lexie: Good! You're doing the right thing!
Mike: Actually, I need to break up with Ali.
Lexie: Good! You're doing the right thing!
Mike: I don't want Ali to invest much in this relationship; it's not like she's already offered to take me away for the weekend and slept with me.
Lexie: Good! You're doing the right thing!
Ali:
(arriving) Mike, I have a box of things for you. There's tea, chowder, and doughnuts.
Mike: Wow, I don't know where I would get these things if it weren't for you.

MEANWHILE, Carrie is in bed with Austin.
Carrie: Austin, I feel so guilty. I haven't been there for you like you have for me.
Austin: Don't . . . . uhhh . . . worry . . . . uhhh . . . I . . . . uhhh . . . haven't . . . . uhhh . . . been . . . . uhhh . . . with . . . . uhhh . . . you . . . . uhhh . . . I've . . . . uhhh . . . been . . . . uhhh . . . with . . . . uhhh . . . Sami.
Carrie: Oh yeah. But I'm glad I'm married to the hottest guy around.
Austin: When . . . . uhhh . . . did . . . . uhhh . . . you . . . . uhhh . . . marry . . . . uhhh . . . Mike?
Carrie:
(annoyed) I meant you. Here, let's have sex. Sex will prove that I love you. Just ask Mike and Ali.

MEANWHILE, the aforementioned Sami is also waking up.
Franco: Samanda, h'I only married you be-cause h'I needed a green card. An'now, h'I will laugh as you die for my murder.
Sami: Wow, I'm glad that was only a dream and Franco isn't really back from the dead. Not that anyone ever comes back from the dead in Salem. What am I thinking?
Roman:
(downstairs) Duck, I think Sami has some blackmail material on Kate.
Marlena:
(downstairs) Well, I don't know. It's not like Sami has ever blackmailed anyone or tried to hurt Kate before.
Roman: What would really help is her getting her memory back.
Marlena: Well, it's not like I'm a psychiatrist who is constantly hypnotizing people into regaining there memories.
Roman: I know, Duck.
Sami:
(now downstairs) Good morning. I'll answer the door.
reporters: Hi, we know this building is owned by your stepfather and has tons of security since your mother is always getting kidnapped, but somehow we all got in here to mob you.

MEANWHILE, Sami's twin is also busy, at the strip club.
Eric: I need to see Candy.
Candy: I can't help you. I already talked to the cops. Talk to your Dad about what I said.
Eric: Well, I tried to, but I couldn't understand my Dad's mumbling, and he kept talking about a duck.
Candy: I won't help you. I don't need my face plastered everywhere.
Eric: Yes, I know that strippers don't want people coming to see them and never pay money to have their faces and the rest of themselves put on billboards or in newspapers.
Candy: You've got a point. Let's go.

End of Show
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