October 2, 1998
I was late for class today because I was watching this, so youíd better enjoy it.
At the hospital.
Mike: Poor me. No one remembered my birthday.
Carrie: I know Mike inside out and Iíve been dreaming about him for eighteen months but that doesnít mean I should
know his birthday.
Rose: I AM THE HEAD NURSE AND ABOUT TO RETIRE BUT I DONíT WANT ANYONE TO KNOW SO I AM ANNOUNCING MY PLANS AT THE
TOP OF MY LUNGS FOR NO APPARENT REASON!!
Carrie: Ali, Mike wouldnít want a party. Weíll just go out to dinner.
Nancy: Austin, isnít it neat how Carrie knows Mike so well? (but doesnít know his birthday?)
Austin: They . . . um . . . grew . . . up . . . um . . . together.
Nancy: Thatís even neater since Mike was married when Carrie was a toddler.
(at the restaurant, Carrie dreams that "How do I live" is playing and she and Mike are dancing)
get through a show without them?
If we had to act without them
what kind of show would this be?
Oh, I need them to take up lots of time
theyíre a dozen for a dime-
and tell me now
are there too many flashbacks?
I want to know.
Are there too many flashbacks?
They fill up the show.
How do plots ever, ever, move on . . .
Mike: Iíve never danced with anyone like I dance with you, not my wife
or the mother of my son or numerous one-and-only loves.
Austin: (real life) Carrie, wake up!
MEANWHILE, at the Kiriakissless Mansion.
Sami: (ducking under police line) Iím leaving now, Kate.
Kate: Bye, murderess.
Sami: My Mom believes me.
Kate: I take it you arenít blackmailing your mother.
Sami: You just want to see me in jail.
Kate: Why would I want my grandson to grow up without his mother just because
she has shamelessly manipulated two of my sons and refuses to let my grandsonís
father see him and is blackmailing me?
Sami: But I donít remember killing Franco.
Kate: I can re-create the crime.
Sami: Because you know me so well?
Kate: That, and the fact that I was the one who framed you.
MEANWHILE, Eric is on his way to see Nicole.
Eric: Why donít I believe Nicole when she says sheís sick? Just because sheís
secretive about everything and jumpy and desperate to make me trust her with no
Jay: (inside) Nicole, Iím going to take this knife and mess up your pretty face and end your modeling career.
Nicole: (inside) Jay, Iím not scared. I can just use that makeup Billie gives the Swamp Girl and become a supermodel
Eric: Can I come in?
Nicole: (inside, crying, whispering, Jayís knife at her throat) Go away. Iím okay.
Jay: (inside) That sounded convincing enough.
Nicole: (inside) HELP!
Eric: (running in) Get out of here!
Nicole: Jay, stay away from Eric.
Jay: Well, I just held a knife to your throat and tried to rape you, but now Iíll take orders from you. (leaves)
Eric: He tried to rape you?
Nicole: Well, my clothes are torn and he was on top of me on the couch, but that
could mean a lot of things.
MEANWHILE, Lucas is at the hospital.
Lucas: Maggie, I know what youíre going to say.
Maggie: People say that at least five times an episode and itís never true, so shut up and listen to me.
Lucas: Youíre so helpful. I donít deserve anything good. I wanna forget everything
Maggie: Well, you could get Austin to run you over or you could get the devil to
throw you off a roof or you could get Stefano to brainwash you.
Lucas: Maybe Iíll just stick to begging Willís forgiveness. Although I was too weak to move and begging for medication
a second ago, I can now rip the various tubes out of my body and go down the hall to Willís room. (he does) Will,
forgive me. (Behind him, an arriving Sami whimpers.) Sami, donít report me for being here.
Sami: I wonít, Lucas. Iím in trouble, not you. Iím going to die for Francoís
Lucas: No. I wonít let that happen.
Sami: You wonít?
Lucas: Ha ha, got you. Iím not going to tell the truth until, um, the baby is born.
Sami: Suddenly you remind me of my mother.
End of Show