July 7, 1998

Sami is getting ready to leave the Fourth of July celebration.
Sami: Since July Fourth was three days ago, I guess the party is over.
Kate: I'll take Will home.
Sami: NO! I don't trust my son's father or grandmother who live in the same house as me. I'd rather hand Will to a man who was accused of beating women and killing people by my uncle. Here, Franco.
Franco: Saman-tha, I nefer saw that man ofer there before.
Sami: Hello, sir. It's nice to meet a man my fiancee has never spoken to before.
man: Hi, I'm an immigration officer watching to see if your engagement is legitimate. I don't find it at all suspicious that Franco didn't tell you who I am.

MEANWHILE, Austin is also leaving the party.
Austin: Sami is uh . . . honest. She . . . uh . . . has no reason to scheme. When has she ever . . . uhh . . . schemed before?
Mike: Goodbye, Carrie.
Austin: You're through with my wife? You've seen more of her than I have.
Mike: I promise I'll only see her in flashbacks for a few months.
Marlena: Laura, I'm glad to see you're still on the show.

MEANWHILE, Lucas has been arrested for drunk driving.
Abe: Lock him in the drunk tank!
Lucas: The cops have it in for me!
Abe: Well, you do have a better storyline than any of us do.
Lucas: Iím your new cellmate.
drunk: Surely you're joking.
Lucas: Don't call me Shirley.
drunk: (to 99 bottles of beer on the wall) 99 hours of Days on TV, 99 hours of Days! Take out commercials and the flashbacks, and there's only one hour of Days on TV!


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Disclaimer: This page is for entertainment purposes only and has no affiliation with Days of Our Lives, Ken Corday, or NBC. The characters and storylines parodied are under copyright by them and are used without permission here. The parodies themselves are written and copyright by me. Again, this page is intended to be fun, so please don't sue me.

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